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Calendar Books by Allen James' reading for February 25th, from The Journey: A Calendar Book is,
"Be tidy" (James, 2012).
Whether we realize it or not, the way we present ourselves and our
"space", speaks volumes to others about who we are. Whether speaking
in public representing someone else, or just plainly presenting
ourselves as an individual; it is still "me" in the front line. It is
"we" the other person, group or audience sees, and before "we" even open
our mouths, assumptions, both consciously and subconsciously, have been
made. First impressions are very important - and are as much an
indicator of attitude as they are attire.
Visual impact is at
least as important as verbal impact, people will very quickly make
assumptions based on your facial expressions, the clothes you wear, how
well groomed you are and your body language. Although there is little
we can do to alter our face, we can do much about the expression which
accompanies it.
The mood in which our day began, no matter what
"crisis" has occurred along the way, it is our duty - to yourself as
well as to the the person to whom you are interacting to show and expect
mutual respect - to convey a calm, friendly and professional exterior,
despite how you may feel inside. Smile and appear optimistic.
The reflection staring back at us from a mirror is not necessarily a
true likeness of the face known to our family, friends and colleagues,
because they will see you off-guard, in repose, concentrating on a task
or listening to them. How many people can honestly admit to looking in a
mirror without altering their expression? It is quite natural to ‘play
to a mirror’ possibly by raising an eyebrow, pulling a face or smiling
at the reflection. This is why many often feel self-conscious when
seeing a ‘bad’ photograph of ourselves.
Nobody expects us to be
packaged into something we are not, but our appearance is a reflection
of our own self-esteem and it should be our aim to present "us" to our
best possible advantage. Although we might be casually dressed when at
work on "Casual Friday", a more formal approach may well be preferable
if we have a meeting with the boss.
Good grooming and a tidy
appearance is preferable, whether casually or more formally dressed.
Understanding body language is one of the most important aspects of
personal presentation. The image conveyed by the physical self should
support and enhance what is being communicated verbally. If the visual
image differs widely from the spoken message, it is often the non-verbal
account believed.
The way we sit, stand, our gestures and
mannerisms and our facial expressions will say far more about us and how
we are feeling at any given time than the words we are using. When
individuals are nervous or uneasy, their behavioral 'bad habits' become
more pronounced.
Attentiveness to body language, our behavior
under pressure, signals we are unconsciously giving, how nerves and
stress affect us physically, can help us to understand how we 'come
across' to others. It can also explain how the wrong impression is
sometimes given and how confusion can occur.
Working on body
language is a way of improving personal presentation. For example, when
concentrating on something rather hard, your expression may look
troubled, when in reality you are not anxious at all, merely absorbed.
This does not mean you should go around with a fixed smile on your face,
but just be aware that your physical self might send one set of signals
when your mind is involved elsewhere.
The gestures of
individuals are part of their personalities, a part of how they express
themselves. Hand and arm movements can add emphasis, aid explanation
and convey enthusiasm. They only become a negative signal when repeated
so often they become irritating to the observer. Listeners can become
so side-tracked by the sight of someone constantly playing with his/her
hair, tapping on the table with a pen, etc., they no longer listen to
the spoken word. Thus the negative signal has broken down the chain of
communication.
Positive body language includes maintaining eye
contact with the person to whom you are speaking; smiling (if
appropriate) but especially as a greeting and when parting; sitting
squarely on a chair, leaning slightly forward (this indicates you are
paying attention); nodding in agreement; a firm handshake; presenting a
calm exterior; looking interested.
Negative Body Language:
Negative body language includes not looking at a person when speaking;
tapping a foot, fingers etc; rocking backwards and forwards; scratching;
continually clearing your throat; fiddling with hair, ear lobes,
jewellery, jacket, glasses, etc; picking at fingers or finger nails;
yawning; repeatedly looking at your cell phone or a clock in the room;
standing too close to others, and general inattention to a person
speaking. All these I learned in Interpersonal Communication 101 my
first semester in college.
Be tidy, in mind, body, and spirit.
Keep looking up. : ) AJ
