Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

Our reading for January 8th from Allen James', "The Journey: A Calendar Book" exemplifies what becomes our world view;

"Watch your family interact" (James, 2012).

What a pivotal role those with whom we live, work, play, and interact plays in our acquiring personal success.  Research shows the average American spends 1/3 of their lifetimes at work; 1/3 of their lifetimes sleeping and the remaining 1/3 "living".  Realizing this and taking on a new awareness that those with whom we spend 2/3 of our lifetime are co-workers and family, certainly being more "in-tune" with family and co-workers in a positive way can only benefit your personal success.

As a child growing up our house was always full of activity, but surprisingly not always full of noise.  By nature I was an observer early in life. Although I cannot recall childhood events prior to around the age of 6, those observations I recall from 6 to present day aided in melding me into the individual I am today.  Learning from my older brothers and sisters and how they interacted with one another as well as with my parents; and how my parents interacted with one another, vastly matters to the person I became as an adult.  But only due to the fact I was observant.  Sure, learning by coincidence plays a role as well, but having a heightened awareness by being observant multiplies this learning exponentially.  Then there were those with who I worked.

 Throughout my working lifetime I have been fortunate enough to have only encountered two individuals who's personalities did not "jive" with my own; one was a female who (using my analytical prowess as a psychotherapist; which isn't always the smart thing to do) had "issues" with men throughout her life.  The other was a male who had an inferiority complex.  In both cases I was miserable working with them and had to work at seeing where they were coming from and adjust accordingly or negativity would be the ruler in lieu of positivity.

Be aware of those with whom you live and work.  Realize it's your problem when you can't get along or have "issues" with a family member or co-worker.  Own "your" problem and overcome it.  You'll be one step closer to personal success.

Keep looking up.  : )  AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

Today's reading "Respect your siblings" follows yesterday's reading "Respect your parents" very close. Typically the response I get from people when they read this day's thought is, "Why should I respect my siblings?" In that lies the answer. Having an attitude of superiority or constant competition with siblings is in no way healthy to personal success. Again, having been reared with 6 siblings with me being the youngest, learning to "respect" or "esteem" them I learned quickly created less friction for me and I'm sure made what already seemed like a long, long childhood somewhat less troublesome.

My father always told people as his children were growing up that he had a basketball team; 5 boys as the players and 2 girls as the cheerleaders. Looking back on those words, and I'm sure he never thought of it this way, I see how we were exactly that, a team of family members working together for the same end; steering clear of conflict together. Not one of us ever wanted to see another in the cross hairs of our father's discipline (it was the 60s and 70s don't forget, when discipline meant discipline, not abuse).

And even as adults I continue to hold my siblings in high esteem, respecting their lifestyles, decisions and personalities regardless of whether I agree with them or not. After all, they are on their own journey's through this world. I respect that.

Keep looking up. : ) AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "A Graduate's Daily Guide to Success"

The reading from A Graduate's Daily Guide to Success for today is,

​"Recall what you learned from you grandmother" (James)

Almost everyone can think of a time when they've heard another adult say, "My grandmother used to say", or "As my grandfather always said", followed by some tidbit of wisdom aimed at making life more fair or stating an important life lesson.  My grandmother lived to be 92 years old and throughout the years I was blessed to be part of those years with her I learned much.  Looking back at those "life lessons" often not only brings comfort and wisdom to my own life, but as well aids in my quest for personal success as I gain insight into a world which much of the time seems out of control.  Think about those adults in your life who have had a major impact on you, then learn from their words even after they are no longer her to enjoy. 

 

One thing my maternal grandmother, Mary Delphene LaForce Williams taught me was out of events which we see as regrets can come joy, goodness and positivity.  What were the words from her mouth which taught me this, one may ask.  I was visiting with her when she was around 90 years old.  Most of our visits consisted of just spending time sitting and "being".  At 90 she still had a strong mind; physically she was hampered by the fact she had slipped and broken her hip when she was 72 and was tethered to a walker the remainder of her life.  Out of nowhere she said, "Jimmy, I married the wrong man".  Mind you my grandfather I never knew as he had died when I was about 2, which had been 30 years prior.  Thirty years hence she was sitting and thinking about the regrets she had of marrying a drinker and gambler.  My response came quick.  "Well Mamaw, if you hadn't married grandpa I would be here today".  Her response, "Well I guess 1 good thing came out of it". 

Recall what you learned from your grandmother.  You'll be glad you spent the time thinking about her.  Keep looking up.  : )  AJ 

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

December 31st of each of Allen James' calendar books holds the same reading, for I can't think of a better quote to end any year with than the words spoken by the great philosopher who died for his convictions than those spoken by this man:

"The only true wisdom knows that you know nothing" (Socrates).

Each year most world inhabitants who celebrate the end of one year and the rushing in of another make great resolutions;  personal for some while other yell them out to all who will listen statements of great change they hope to make in the coming year.  While goals are healthy to set for ourselves, Socrates words stand true for each of us..."The only TRUE WISDOM knows that you KNOW NOTHING".  We have no knowledge of what is to come, as much as we may attempt to set the course for our lives, decisions made along the way divert this course daily.

Socrates was known, and continues to be known to this day, as the wisest of men ever.  He himself denied this claim in Plato's Apology.  Socrates was human himself, thus includes himself in his own words.  What is he eluding to exactly? 

I feel what Socrates is saying is we must continuously strive to KNOW;  searching for truth each and every moment of our day.  When we realize for the first time the significance of the wind blowing against our skin and the warmth of the sun on our bodies, or when we acknowledge each time we look up to the heavens on a clear night and feel the magnanimousness of the universe in which we live and how small we really are; these are the times we can truly realize the wisdom is in knowing how little we actually know.

Search for truth before you make empty resolutions this evening.  Remember our reading for October 15th, "...Expectations equal disappointment" (James).  Setting ourselves up for disappointment is the worst thing we can do as the new year comes upon us.  A Georgian (Republic of Georgia, not the state) friend of mine told me how they celebrate the new year; on December 31st they write down on a strip of paper their dreams for the coming year, at the stroke of midnight they open a bottle of champagne, lite their strips of paper afire and allow the ashes to drop into the bottle of champagne.  They then drink the champagne in celebration of the new year and the prospects of the dreams they have just ingested.  What a perfect analogy of literally internalizing our goals and hopes and dreams; planting them within ourselves and nurturing those goals and hopes and dreams into and throughout the coming 365 days. 

We can gain much just by learning more about cultures other than our own, for much too often North Americans (those from the United States anyway) are too shallow about what really matters; our ethnocentric ideologies are deeply planted through generations of beliefs.  But we can break the circle of ignorance and search for truth.

True wisdom knows that you know nothing.  Think about that, and as always, keep looking up.  Have the happiest of New Years.  : )  AJ

www.jamesharryman2002.wix.com/allenjamesbooks

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "A Teacher's Daily Guide to Success"

For December 30th, from Allen James', "A Teacher's Daily Guide to Success" we read;

"Practice what you preach; don't just talk the talk, walk the walk".  Allen James

I was listening to a radio program last night while I was traveling back from my sister's house in Illinois, where I had a wonderful time visiting family and sharing quality time with Sandra (I hadn't seen her in as many months and desperately needed my "Sister" fix); and the guest was Bob Welch, the author of "52 Little Lessons from It's a Wonderful Life".  Although I've not seen the movie in several years, the movie is forever etched into most of our minds.  However; Bob Welch has obviously viewed the movie many more time than I, for he has extracted the book by the same name life lessons which each of us can gain from.

Toward the end of the program, he noted how the main message of the book and movie is how material possessions mean nothing when looking at the big picture, but what really matters are the relationships we cultivate throughout our lives, and however small the interactions we may have with others may seem to us, they are life changing to those with whom we have effected.

How easy it is to get caught up in today's culture of having things and thinking we must "show" how worthy we are by those things we have.  He mentioned how he had spent the day at a book event with 70 other authors signing their books and on his way home obsessed over either how many of the hundreds of people at the event stopped by his table and bought on of his signed books, or how many walked on by and didn't purchase his book.  Yet upon returning home his grandchildren were there as his wife was babysitting them for the night.  As he was handed his 8 month old grandbaby, who was very agitated at the time, within 5 minutes the infant was asleep and happy in his grandfather's arms.  Mr. Welch sat and held him for 2 hours, just looking at him in awe at the miracle he held in his arms.

Like Mr. Welch, as I sat in church beside my sister yesterday, who was minding her grandbaby, Liam, while his mother minded their 2 year old "busy" daughter elsewhere in the congregation, I got a surprise.  Sandra was called by the pastor to come up and prepare to sing a song.  Naturally Sandra and I turned to each other, but without reservation I reached over to take Liam from her arms so she could make her way to the pulpit.  Throughout the 20 minutes I sat and held that baby, I too was held in awe at the bundle on my shoulder.  Having never had children and being "Uncle Jimmy" for all my adult years, I seldom have found myself with a baby in my arms and resting on my shoulder. 

I write daily about the daily readings which I have placed on the pages of "Calendar Books by Allen James", yet yesterday I was reminded of how important those daily readings are to me to live as well as write down on pages to hopefully be meaningful to others. Cultivating relationships IS what matters.  Human interaction IS what matters.  Connecting with other like individuals IS what matters. 

Practice what you preach; don't just talk the talk, walk the walk; and always keep looking up.  :) AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James = Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

December 27th.  From "The Journey: A Calendar Book" we read,

"Don't mimic others, be the one they mimi:".  Allen James

"I want to be just like you when I grow up."  How many times have we said this very thing while growing up when we saw attributes in someone whom we respected, or possibly others have said this very thing to us.  Although it's a great compliment to have someone wish to emulate us due to our actions or character, it's a far greater compliment to be who we are and hope others appreciate our character or actions in such a way which encourages them to desire to be more like us.

Today's reading is one of my favorites of all calendar books readings.  Don't mimic others, be the one they mimic.  Be one of such character which is respected by those with whom you come into contact ir serve as a mentor figure to them. 

When I was in college I was good friends with this guy who had a magnetic personality;  I still keep in contact with him to this day.  He’s a good friend of mine.  He possessed the type of personality which attracted people everywhere he went, like white on rice, as they say.  I was always amazed  how easily he started conversations with unfamiliar people about everyday topics, and within minutes, was joking and chatting with them like they were old friends.  I was just a freshman in college, and although I was never known to be the shy type, I many times envied my friend’s ability to be so free from self-consciousness and wanted very much to be like him.  I began to watch him closely (without being the "stalker" type) to try to figure out what it was he possessed which  made him so irresistible to other people.

Why is it  some people just seem to attract others?  What are they doing different than everyone else?  Is it something we're born with, or can this ability be learned?  I believe anyone can become this type of attractive individual by working on two main personality attributes:  confidence and empathy.

The first is confidence.  There’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance.  The difference, I think, is arrogance tries to impress others, while confidence doesn’t worry about whether others are impressed or not.  You have to be comfortable in your own skin to be confident.

In college, I wasn’t quite there yet.  The reason I didn’t initiate conversations with people I didn’t know was because I didn’t think they’d be interested in talking to me.  Even though I had a broad range of interests, I thought I wouldn’t have anything interesting to say to someone, and any conversation I tried to start would become awkward and strained.  So, I just avoided the situation by hanging out with people like my friend, who took care of the conversational heavy lifting for me.  I could chime in occasionally without being forced to carry the conversation myself.

I started to understand more and more, everyone feels this way (at least a little bit), due to the fact we project our self-image onto other people.  We assume  what we perceive as faults in our makeup are readily evident to everyone we meet.  What I came to realize and believe is everyone feels this way to some extent or another.  And, the person you’d like to talk to, but can’t because you’re too shy?  They have the same types of hang-ups you do.  They’re most likely so obsessed with their own shortcomings there’s no way they have the time or attention to pick up on yours.

What separated my friend, and other people with supreme self-confidence, from people like me was the fact they knew this secret.  They knew the other person was most likely focused on themselves, so there was no reason to worry about their own shortcomings.  This gave them the freedom to display the second characteristic so important to building relationships.

The second trait is empathy.  If, like I said previously, most everyone feels a little self-conscious around other people, then it’s helpful to be able to get them past feeling.  You want other people to feel comfortable around you.  In order to do so, you have to understand these subconscious hang-ups people have and work around them to draw the other person out.  Make them feel at ease in your presence by finding common interests, or find something they can speak intelligently on.  If you can master the art of helping other people look and feel like experts on something when they’re around you, you’ll never be short of friends.  People like to feel like they’re adding to the conversation.  Here’s a hint:  if you’re having trouble finding something to talk about, ask questions about them.  Everyone’s an expert on themselves. :)

So, confidence and empathy.  It sounds more intimidating than it is, but I understand it’s tough sometimes to take that first step, especially if you’re not used to doing it.  Begin to make a habit of talking to people everywhere you go.  If you’re at the grocery store, talk to the person in front of you in the checkout line.  In the doctor’s office, talk to people waiting around.  The only way you’ll condition yourself to talk to people and get over your fear of it is to do it frequently.  By the time you’ve gotten over the fear, it’ll be a habit, and good habits are difficult to break.

Don't mimic others, be the one they mimic, and keep looking up.  :)  AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James' Daily Reading - "A Teacher's Daily Guide to Success"

December 26th....From "A Teacher's Daily Guide to Success" we read,

"Don't be complacent, ever!" Allen James

Complacency....we are all familiar with the word, and the reality of being complacent. The Merriam/Webster Dictionary defines "complacency" as:

"com·pla·cen·cy

 noun \kəm-ˈplā-s^ən(t)-sē\

: a feeling of being satisfied with how things are and not wanting to try to make them better : a complacent feeling or condition" (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/complacency).

Throughout my life I have veered from this "feeling of being satisfied with how things are and not wanting to try to make them better".  I can recall as a young boy being taught in church about the cautions of become complacent in our service.  The Bible states, “‘I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth" (Revelation 3:15-16).  This teaching spilled over into my daily life regarding not only just living, but working, playing...in every aspect I feared being "luke warm", or complacent, and being "spit out" of the Lord's mouth, or in other words, not living up to my end of the deal.

Complacency is a killer of spirit and of will, and as Tunde Jaiyebo, of the Nigerian Tribune says so sufficiently, "C omplacency is a blindfold which eventually leads to non maximisation of one’s potential and eventual loss. Change is the name of the game. The only constant thing in life, they say, is change. Complacency will stifle innovation which is the major key to survival in our present world. There is a pathetic story of complacency in The Independent newspaper of 20 January 2012 in an article titled “Kodak’s lesson in the dangers of complacency”.

“There’s no better illustration of the business maxim “change or die” than Kodak. The company whose name was, for almost a century, synonymous with film has filed for bankruptcy.

Kodak marketed the world’s first flexible roll film in 1888; it turned photography into a mass hobby with its $1 Brownie camera; it’s easy-load Instamatic became the most popular camera ever in the 1960s; and, in 1975, it even created the first digital camera. But it could not keep up. The company cut staff numbers from 145,000 to just 19,000, dynamited aged factories, and constantly reworked its business strategy. For all that, it never overcame its reliance on film.

Big mistake. Constant innovation, as Apple has shown, is the way to stay ahead, even more so in the face of the seismic changes of the digital age. Once the world trusted Kodak with its memories, now it looks like they are all it will have left.”

Life is not static. Life is dynamic and to be complacent is to be pushed aside and overtaken. We must never allow ourselves to fall into the quicksand of complacency. We must always remind ourselves at the point of any achievement that there is always much more to achieve. Complacency will steal our future. “We shall have no better conditions in the future if we are satisfied with all those which we have at present.” Thomas Edison. Naturally we all prefer success to adversity but if we do not handle success well it can be our undoing. Like they say, the enemy of your future success is your present success (and this is due to the temptation of complacency). “Adversity has its uses. It keeps you sharp and on your toes, ready to manage all that life has to throw at you. This is the only way to survive and triumph. Conversely, success blunts your edge. It makes you lax when you should be firm. It makes you complacent when you should be vigilant and there lies the danger. Anybody can discern the obvious dangers of adversity. It has all the subtlety of a truck running right over you. But if you manage to survive the first truck, the other trucks will find it harder to hit you because you are ready for them. On the other hand, the dangers of success are harder to notice".

Observe how you're living your life. Focus on your intentions, your progress, or lack thereof in your journey toward personal success.  With the first signs of complacency, re energize.  Look at the forks in the road and be willing to take "the road less traveled", as it certainly will allow your complacent attitude to veer and redirect your live to possibly greater, more rewarding experiences.

Don't be complacent, ever, and don't forget to keep looking up.

http://www.tribune.com.ng/news2013/index.php/en/columns/2012-11-27-08-59-07/your-life-counts/item/12848-the-danger-of-complacency-1.html