Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

Calendar Books by Allen James' reading from The Journey: A Calendar Book for September 2nd,

"Fall in love at least once in your life" (James, 2012).

Some may find today's thought rather funny, and I in no means intend it as satirical.  The Holy Bible states in 1st Corinthians 13:13, "And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love.  But the greatest of these is love (KJV, The Holy Bible).

Falling is actually a misnomer.  Love comes to us, it's not something we "fall" into.  "Falling" in love even once is a blessing and spin of the roulette wheel in most people's lives; I'm speaking of this love spoken of in 1st Corinthians, unfettered, unconditional, "agape" love. Some are fortunate enough to have love cross their paths several times, and others go through their entire lives never even meeting love at any crossroad of life. 

Too often we mistake love for infatuation, a crush, puppy love.  As children, we often form a fantasy of what real love looks like. Though we may paint a pretty picture in our minds, this fantasy isn't necessarily built on the admirable qualities we truly desire in a partner. Instead, it may be based on gaps we hope to one day fill, mistakes we aim to correct, and familiarities we've grown accustomed to. We may seek a partner whose outpour of compliments submerges the low self-esteem we held as children or someone whose allusive tendencies are a sadly familiar reenactment of an important figure from our childhood.

It's no great surprise fantasy can lead us to choose romantic partners for the wrong reasons. And even if we choose them for all the appropriate reasons, our devotion to our fantasies can eventually lead us to destroy any real sense of connection. So with all these early defenses quietly operating within us, how do we separate honest love from an illusion of connection? How do we protect something real and exciting from the deadening effects of what, psychologist Dr. Robert Firestone, termed "The Fantasy Bond?"

A fantasy bond is created when two people replace real acts of genuine love, admiration, passion, and respect with the role and ritual of "being" in a relationship. Though this process is often unconscious, people can begin to recognize patterns and behaviors characterized by a Fantasy Bond which are destructive to their closest relationships. By comparing interactions in an ideal relationship with interactions in a relationship under the influence of a Fantasy Bond, a person can begin to act against their own limiting tendencies and dramatically improve their relationship.

And oh year, love releases endorphins in our brain which give us the most wonderful, natural high imagined....food for thought.

Fall in love at least once in your life.  You'll appreciate it so much more when your love is lost.

Keep looking up.  AJ  : )