Monday, April 8, 2013
Daily Reading - Allen James' Daily Guide to Success series
April 6th and 7th's readings followed by the April 8th daily reading....
Our reading for April 6th is from "A Counselor's Daily Guide to Success" but is suitable for us all..."Provide good counsel".
I can't tell you how many young adults thinking about going into counseling as a profession start their conversations when talking with me about it with, "My friends have always told me I'm a good listener and have really helped them with the advise I've given them".
There are a few problems I have with this reasoning; #1 - It's never a good idea to counsel your friends, and #2 - Providing good counsel requires wisdom (experience) and much reflection.
All of us at one time or another throughout our lives are "counselors". What's important is during those times we are placed in the position to be asked to give counsel, we must realize the importance of doing so. There will be repercussions and consequences for any advise we give. You are being held in very high esteem by the one seeking your help, thus the seriousness of your choosing to provide it is imperative.
But remember when you've sought out counsel yourself; usually all you actually need is someone to listen.
The best counsel we can get most of the time comes from within ourselves. Having someone to listen and bounce our "story" off of allows us to hear it as well and to straighten it out in our own minds.
Give good counsel if you give counsel at all. But don't get yourself in a situation where YOU could become the scapegoat for a result deemed less than appreciated.
Keep looking up. :) AJ
April 7th brings a reading from "A Graduate's Daily Guide to Success"..."Be a confidant to someone".
Yesterday's reading, provide good counsel", mentioned how rewarding it can be to be a good listener when someone needs a lending ear. Today we look at the vitality of not only being the good ear but as well keeping what we hear to ourselves.
Personal success comes when we build the trust of others. Being a confidant means we can keep others' disclosures to us confidential. There can be nothing more disappointing than hearing something we've told in confidence repeated.
Having that one person whom we know we can tell anything and not be judged and neither will we have to worry about their "telling tales" can be very stress relieving. Being trustworthy is a talent worth cultivating.
Be a confidant. Be a real friend. Keep looking up. :) AJ
And today's daily reading is taken from "A Teacher's Daily Guide to Success"...an extension of yesterday's reading..."Have a confidant".
I've been asked the question many times throughout the years, "Dr. Harryman, who do you go to when you need someone to talk to?", as well as, "So who heals the healer?". Even the most "together" individual needs a confidant from time to time.
In order for a therapist to be skillful in the practice of providing good counsel we must first start with ourselves. As part of my training I had to undergo therapy myself. It was then I learned the value of having a confidant as well as being a confidant.
A therapist's first patient is themselves. If we continuously explore how we define our own mental health, we will be more present and successful in helping others do the same. And more importantly, we will be more happy and fulfilled in our life's work.
On average, we spend 4 years of graduate school learning how to facilitate mental health for others. Very little of this time is spent learning how to do this for ourselves.
How we define our own mental health is not something which remains constant over time. It is malleable and will change as we do. But there are some core underlying ingredients which should always be addressed throughout our lives.
Lifestyle: Physical Activity, Healthy Behaviors
Nutrition
Family History
Mind-Body: Stress Management, Emotional Health, Social Connection
Spirituality: Finding a connection which results in meaning & purpose
Focus on defining these five core elements which recur as vital to our personal success, and take the time to...
Have a confidant. Keep looking up. : ) AJ
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