Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

From The Journey: A Calendar Book we read for August 13th,

"Maintain your composure when necessary" (James, 2012).

Certainly we are each unique.  No two of us are exactly alike; even identical twins have their differences.  Some of us are big, some small.  Some of us are soft spoken, others boisterous, light skinned or darker.  However; we all do share commonalities; one distinct commonality is our emotions.  Knowing how and when to control these emotions is yet another aspect of "self" which is trait required for personal success.

Working with people in supportive therapy over the past 20 years, I've gained a bit of insight into how controlling our emotions can benefit us as we travel our life journey.  The following 5 attributes can assist in this task:

1) Don’t ever take anything personally: It’s tough. We all can relate to instances when someone says something so against our beliefs we want to tell them they’re so wrong. There are others who may be passive aggressive and say “Yes-but.” I've found the key to our accepting no needless stress in our lives is to not take anything personally — to realize everyone has a perspective, and most of the time it may not align with our own.

2) Become aware of our "triggers": What are triggers? The person who cuts us off on the road without using his or her blinker. The person who bumps into our shoulder without saying excuse me. The senseless opinion from the certain someone whom we chose to allow us to visualize ourselves punching their face in. We've all heard the voice in our heads telling us to scream, rant, complain, or whine. How many times have we acted out of burst emotions, and how many times has it proven unsuccessful? How many times have we responded to a someone we just can't seem to tolerate on Twitter, Facebook, or on a blog, nothing really gets accomplished with such responses.

3) Pause: Before doing anything, just breathe and pause for a few seconds. Think it over. Relax. We must learn to let our emotions simmer so we can recollect ourselves. Think about what we want to accomplish at any given moment. Do we want to blow this situation out of proportion, or do we want to diffuse it? Then make our choice and live with it.
 
4) Find the purpose: Ever since I started practicing "living consciously", the one question I always ask myself in every situation is, “What is the purpose?” Or sometimes, “What is the goal?” With this in mind, I have complained, argued, and fought less with strangers, friends, family, whomever. The simple reason; if it has nothing to do with helping me achieve my goals, better my life, or remove needless stress, then what is the point? If it adds needless stress, causes problems, or influences me to lose sight of what’s most important, then what good is it doing?

5) Never assume: We all recall the teacher who once taught us if we assume, we make an ass out of u-and-me (ass-u-me) both. It’s one of the few principles which ever stuck with me, simply because the delivery was flawless. When something frightening happens, people have a tendency to immediately assume the worst case scenario. Or if we see something, we assume it associates with this and this. Most of the time, we’re dead-wrong. I find it best not to assume, take a breath, and unfold the situation ourselves.

Maintain your composure when necessary.  We all know when we need to do so.  Oh, yeah....and always, keep looking up.  : )   AJ