Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

Calendar Books by Allen James' reading for May 11th from "The Journey: A Calendar Book"...."Care about how you view yourself in EVERY way".

Physical, emotional, spiritual....the way we view ourselves IS the one most important determiner of HOW we are and WHO we are. Self-esteem, self-concept, self-awareness...whatever you want to call it...it is simply caring about yourself.

Whether it be grooming appropriately, having an attire which enables YOU to feel comfortable, keeping yourself spiritually fed, or assuring yourself you are healthy by eating and drinking foods and drinks which are good for you and practicing moderation in those which aren't the best for you...these activities are vital to personal success.

Although most of us SAY we don't care what others think, we each desire to fit into our social universe. Fitting into this social universe comes down to how we view ourselves.

Our perceived ideas about what others think of us are determined by our self-concept—our own beliefs about who we are. "You filter the cues that you get from others through your self-concept," explains Mark Leary, professor of psychology at Wake Forest University in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.

Self-concept is determined by one person in particular, our primary caregiver growing up, most generally our mothers. How our mother responded to our first expressions of need and want influences in a very large way how we expect to be seen by others. "Children behave in ways that perpetuate what they have experienced," says Martha Farrell Erickson, senior fellow with the Children, Youth and Family Consortium at the University of Minnesota. "A child who had an unresponsive mother will act obnoxious or withdrawn so that people will want to keep their distance. Those with consistently responsive mothers are confident and connect well with their peers."

People endowed with the trait of physical awareness have a keen sense of how they present themselves. If you are concerned with the observable parts of personality—voice, posture, clothes and walk—as an actor would be, you will control the impression you give, and your self-perception will be more accurate. If, for example, you slouch but don't know it, your droopy posture registers in the minds of those you meet and enters into how they see you—unbeknownst to you.

People who have learned to regulate their emotions are in a much better position to know what others think of them, says Carroll Izard, professor of psychology at the University of Delaware: "They are able to detect emotions on others' faces and to feel empathy." If you are either overwhelmed with feelings or unable to express them at all, it becomes difficult to interpret someone else's response to you. Learning to give concrete expression to your feelings and to calm yourself in highly charged moments will give you a much better grip on your own and others' internal states.

…And what kind of person rejects feedback

There are people who behave in ways which prevent them from getting direct feedback from others, which renders them less able to know how they come off. Maybe you're a boss who is prickly and hostile in the face of criticism. Or a student who bursts into tears over a bad evaluation. Either way, coworkers and teachers will start leaving you in the dark to fumble over your own missteps.

Care about how you view yourself in EVERY way....

Keep looking up. : ) AJ