Daily Reading - Allen James' Daily Guide to Success series - "A Counselor's Daily Guide to Success"

 

Allen James' Daily Guide to Success Calendar Books reading for March 28th is from "A Counselor's Daily Guide to Success"..."Use your talents".

The word talent is defined specifically as: "the natural endowments of a person" (merriam/webst...er.com). Talent, simply defined, is intelligence.

Considering the diversity of talents, this list will only cover a few:

Showing kindness to all people
Bestowing compassion on weak or mean people
Giving unconditional love to those who don't love you
Always being friendly, especially to those who are shy or closed off
Demonstrating leadership by example
Having awareness of those who are sick, sad, or downtrodden
An ability to verbalize feelings to other people
Creativity in bringing people together to share meaningful experiences
Speaking publicly and inspiring large groups of people
Courage in facing adversity

Of course there are many other talents, maybe even thousands or millions of them, and the aforementioned examples are some of the more meaningful talents which often get overlooked by the world and the individuals who possess them, overshadowed by the more obvious talents such as: singing, dancing, drawing, and the like.

Regardless, as the familiar idiom goes; "Use it or lose it" is applicable to our use of our talents as well. Failing to display our talents can result is an inability to recognize them, thus resulting in our inability to demonstrate them if and when we decide we want to.

Talents such as the ones listed above bring about positivity in our lives which leads to success on a very, very personal level. Not making application of them in our lives does a great disservice to not only others who might benefit from them, but also to ourselves who would find many positive outcomes from our talents.

Find your talents.....then, "Use your talents". It won't take long to reap the harvest.

Keep looking up. : ) AJ

Daily Reading - Allen James' Daily Guide to Success series - The Journey: A Calendar Book

From "The Journey: A Calendar Book" for March 27th we read, "Visit your parents often".

As we transition into young adulthood from adolescence our parents seem to become less and less "important" to us. From the time we become active in t...he social environment of our teens when we "know everything" and our parents know "nothing", to the time we begin a family of our own when we are so involved in our own lives and our parents have become "old" in our eyes, the relationship which was once vital to our existence has morphed into a sometimes distant connection. It isn't until we reach the point of having our own children grow apart from us we realize how our parents must have felt when we pulled away from them as we are not experiencing this pain.

Certainly this isn't true for everyone, as many remain connected to their parents through proximity and communication, but life does have a way of distancing us from many of the once close relationships we once shared.

When I was in college, before cell phones and free long-distance calling, I would pick up the phone, dial my parent's phone number, wait until mom would pick up on the other end, and then hang up after someone answered at the other end. I just needed to hear one of my parent's voices; I just needed to be assured they were still there. For me, this was enough. I was too selfish at the time to realize they needed to hear my voice as well.

My mother succumbed to lung cancer when I was 30. I thought she'd be there forever. My father was taken by esophageal cancer a few years later. I was orphaned much too young, never imagining I would not have them well into my adult years.

I still visit my parents at Rosedale Cemetery in my hometown when I make it back, and yes, I talk with them. At one time in my life I thought this a ridiculous act, but now it brings me peace to create a connection of my own after they are no longer on the other end of the phone.

Visit your parents often. Think of how THEY feel without hearing from you. Think about how YOU will feel when you no longer have them close; the very ones who provided you with the tools you need for and encouraged you to push toward - personal success.

Keep looking up. : ) AJ

Daily Reading - Allen James', "From the Heart: prose and poetry from the depths of life"

March 26th brings a reading from Allen James' book of poetry, "From the Heart: prose and poetry from the depths of life".

TRANSFORMATION

The journey begins. Choosing a path freshly
Emblazoned, my body absorbs the new-found
Freedom and attempts to accept the infusion the
Spirit within re-ignites from years past.

My lungs inhale the Freshness which surrounds.
A crimson hued cardinal whistles from the
Towering flora and tree-frogs summon one
Another from the rippling pond beyond;

Its deep green shadows dancing in the late
Afternoon sunlight hiding from me behind
Boughs and walls of bark covered life. My stance
Faces east.

The monet-ish reflections of the surrounding
Beauty only those who accept the
Transformation are allowed to share with the
Wildlife within is interrupted by the Blue Heron's
Flight.

Magically soaring to the highest
Branch of the Cypress reaching to the dusky sky
Above, the Spirit within sighs with an ecstasy-like
Release. This is the embodiment of the Truth
Which slowly returns, filling the oceanic depths
Lying deep inside me.

Finally, Restoration is conceived.

Allen James - 2001

At the age of 40 I was fortunate to be able to embark on a wonderful journey into the deep forest of Oregon. Friends from out West knew I had been wanting to experience an "extreme" adventure. Together Pokey and Brian, who had migrated from Missouri to Oregon and were enjoying the wonders of nature had planned one such adventure for me; I was going to get to hike miles into the Mountain Lakes Wilderness in southern Oregon and climb to the tops of Mount Harriman. How special it was they had picked a place with such a connection to my own being.

Throughout this truly "extreme" hike (I had never backpacked in my life, so hiking so far with 25 pounds of my supplies on my back was a chore; I had prepared myself by taking short hikes up to Lee's Bluff close to my home with a 25 pound backpack several times), I carried a journal and recorded the events of my journey.

"Transformation" was one of poems born on this adventure; and transformed was what I was rewarded with. Breathing the clean air of the untouched wilderness opened my mind and soul to an fresh perspective.

Take the time to embark on such an adventure of your own, in whatever "quest" you have always wanted to experience. Renew the Spirit within yourself and be reborn both mentally and emotionally. I returned to Missouri with a new perspective on life and on my own abilities.

Be transformed. Keep looking up. : ) AJ

Daily Reading - Allen James' Daily Guide to Success series - The Journey: A Calendar Book

Also you'll find the Daily Reading for Friday March 23rd and Saturday, March 24th. Keep looking up. : ) AJ.

Today's thought for March 25th is taken from "The Journey: A Calendar Book"....and reads, "Call an old friend from your high school days".

First I want to express my sympathy to Calendar Books by Allen James fan, Ellen M. who's mother pass...ed away this past week at 93 years of age. Our thoughts are with you Ellen.

Having left my home town after high school graduation to attend college I lost touch with most of my high school friends (our graduating class was only a few over 30 students) throughout my active adult years. My 20s passed with little to no contact; my 30s and 40s were so busy with work I only found communication with most of my high school classmates at 5 year reunions.

However when I turned 45 a wonderful tool called "social media" was placed at my disposal in the form of Facebook, Linkedin and the like. Several of us worked together through this tool and planned and took a cruise up the Alaskan Inside Passage for our 50th birthday celebration. One night we got all decked out; ladies in their formal wear and guys in our tuxes, and toasted with champagne to the next 50 as we signed high school yearbooks for a second time and reminisced old times and friends gone. What a great 50th birthday we experienced.

Our relationships were rekindled just as if we had stepped back in time 32 years. Now we plan to have a special trip every 5 years if possible. These were the individuals we grew up with; the individuals who helped form our character; the individuals who were along side us as we became the core of who we are today.

Two years ago I attended the funeral of one of my closest friends throughout childhood and young adulthood to pancreatic cancer. She had planned on going on the trip as well. How devastating to lose friends so close to such a dreadful disease at such a young age (Yes, 50 is still young. THEY say 50 is the new 30; I agree).

Call an old friend from your high school days. Don't let time pass by without experiencing the wonderful feeling which come with reconnecting with old friends.

Keep looking up. : ) AJ


Our reading for March 24th comes from Allen James', A Counselor's Daily Guide to Success" and at first glance I'm sure there will be those who immediately will say, "Duh". But remain focused on the Allen James mission...

"Take time to breathe in the fresh air".

To be honest, at the time I first wrote this thought I wasn't at all thinking about the age old maxim, "Stop and smell the roses". Alt...hough initially the two "appear" to be a reflection, today's reading goes much deeper.

Certainly I realize the importance of taking tine from our busy lives to stop and "take a breath", however; also take time to realize what taking time to breathe in the fresh air does for us.

When we breathe in fresh air we fill not only our lungs with much needed oxygen but also our bloodsteam and thus our brains. A breath of fresh air clears our minds and allows serotonin to be released into the brain. Serotonin is the natural chemical which is released when we are out in the bright daylight which improves mood and works to prevent depression.

Positivity comes much more easily when we are in a good mood (Another "Duh" moment). Depression, whether chronic or clinical, major or just the "blues", keeps us from even wanting to be positive individuals. How easy it is to "bite into other people's bubbles" when we don't keep our minds clear and serotonin filled.

Certainly take time to appreciate all around you, but more than this, take the time to realize HOW to appreciate all around you. There are physical/biological realities at work which we can assist in creating our own happiness. Live conscious of your own powers.

Keep looking up, and breathing deep. :) AJ

Reading from Allen James' "A Counselor's Daily Guide to Success" for March 23rd, "Keep an open mind".

Individuals who obtain personal success are individials with an open mind. Being openminded simply means we are able to see things from ...many perspectives are are accepting of others' views. This doesn't mean we agree with or practice these perspectives/views. It means we are willing to listen and meet others where they are.

People who are open minded are more often than not more positive and non-judgemental than those who are close-minded. People who are open-minded find they learn more about, and get to experience more, of the wonders life has to offer.

Keep an open mind. Be willing to hear what others have to say. Be accepting.

Keep looking up. :) AJ

Daily Reading - Calendar Books by Allen James' "From the Heart: prose and poetry from the depths of life"

Today's reading, March 22nd, comes from Allen James' "From the Heart: prose and poetry from the depths of life" entitled, "LIVE"; a poem written to celebrate life lived and more of what is to come:

LIVE

While life is ours, live.
Take a lo...ok around and embrace it:
One turns into ten, ten to twenty,
Twenty to forty and then,
Before we realize, we're looking for the end!

Those we love, we find on the outskirts of town,
A home built just for them.
Breakfast, lunch and dinner,
A crown made of paper for the winner.

We walk in to see old friends
Who no longer recognize who we are,
Yet proud of their new home;
Not knowing what lie beyond the swinging doors,
Not knowing that life evolves outside.

Live, for before we turn around,
The season has changed
And new life is spawning,
Beyond again, the doors of life.

LIVE.

As a young boy I was in the junior choir at my church. Every two weeks our choir leader, Miss Barbara, would pile us all in her 1965 convertible Ford Galaxy and Miss Juanita's 1965 convertible Ford Mustang and haul us down to the "rest home" as it was known to us and we would gather in the social hall and sing the old hymns residents would recall from days gone by. The men and women would sing along, smile and tap their feet as they remembered days past when their lives were full and active.

As the years progressed I would visit my Great Aunt Mae every week in her pristine room and learn about my grandfather, her brother, whom I had never got the chance to get to know; he had died when I was 2. Later I would visit my grandmother when this place became her home, listening to her words of wisdom.

This place they called "home" was to me a smelly, loud, sad place; but to them it was where life continued. It had become their prison; a place they would only leave when life was extinguished.

Where will we be when our lives begin to be too much for us to be able to handle? Where will we be placed when we become too much trouble for family members to care for? Although it's nice to know our society has institutions which are in place to care for us if that day comes for us, those institutions are not the happy, comfortable "homes" we hope to find ourselves.

Remaining active, caring about our health and cultivating relationships now may find our answer to these questions quite different from those of our elder family and friends. LIVE life as alert and conscious as humanly possible and you too can change your destiny. I know I'm certainly going to.

Keep looking up. : ) AJ

Daily Reading from Allen James' Daily Guide to Success series

March 21st's reading from Allen James' Daily Guide to Success series; "Cultivate a romantic soul".

Romance!!! Who needs it? This seems to be the attitude men have taken throughout the late 20th and early 21st century. Let's face it, ro...mance seems to have been replaced by sex everywhere we turn; television advertisements, radio spots, top 40 hits, country music, movies. But just as we are often misinformed by the media regarding social, political, and personal topics, we are also being misinformed regarding the importance of romance (except during Valentine's Day marketing blitzes) in our society today. And this misinformation is creating generations of mindless men when it comes to displaying their affection toward their significant others.

In reality, romance and sex go hand in hand. Romance is defined as, "to influence or curry favor with especially by lavishing personal attention, gifts, or flattery (www.merriam/webster.com). Cultivating a romantic soul alludes to working daily to express how much you love someone by showing special attention, being thoughtful by presenting with special gifts, and by letting the one you love know you think they're special in words as well as actions.

However; when it comes to modern day romance, some men have lost their touch…

According to Sonny Mac, who has blazoned her path to success provided relationship advice via radio on stations such as 96.3KISS FM and 96.1 KISS FM in NY, 104.5 KTOY/107FYX in TX, and her current station, 105.3KJMM in Tulsa, OK a new study conducted by Sheila's Wheels, "men are more hopeless than romantic when it comes to treating the lady in their life.

"More than half of women (55%) have not been surprised with a gift in over a year, while one in five women buy their own flowers rather than wait for flowers to be bought for them.

"And chivalry is fading fast among young men. The a study of 1,176 people by Sheila's Wheels revealed that 72% of men under the age of 25 said they rarely or never buy flowers for their significant other.

"Furthermore, 10% of young men confessed that they had passed off a gift from someone else as a gift that they had bought for their partner, while one in five had even given their other half a gift that they had received for free.

"And when it comes to present buying, it’s women that put in that extra bit of effort. The study found that women spend 24 days planning a gift for their other half for a special occasion, while men take just 16 days.

"What’s more, a third of cheeky chappies even admitted that they only search for a gift the day before they give it to their partner.

"Jacky Brown at Sheilas’ Wheels said: “Men may think of themselves as Prince Charmings, but it seems that many are losing their touch and could learn a great deal from their parents or grandparents when it comes to chivalry” (www.sonnymacworld.com).

However; ladies, remember; as my mother told me years ago regarding a beautiful woman with whom I had fallen madly in love, "Pretty is as pretty does" (Harryman, Naomi Ruth, 1989); to be expected to be treated such you must act such.

Men and women alike, cultivate a romantic soul, a building block to a healthy relationship and sex life.

Keep looking up. : ) AJ

Daily Reading - Allen James' Daily Guide to Success series - "A Counselor's Daily Guide to Success"

Happy 1st day of Spring.....

March 20ths reading from Allen James' Daily Guide to Success series', "A Counselor's Daily Guide to Success" is a quote from author Steven King, and states "We never know which lives we influence, or when, or why".

In the 1948 George Orwell book, "1984", we were introduced to the idea, "Big brother is always watching". Not knowing to what degree the government satellite program has progressed as to whether "Big Brother" is truly able to always be watching us, we do know "little brother" and "little sister" are always watching us.

Children are much more cognizant of what we as young adults' and older adults' actions than we realize. Our every move teaches them about the world in which they will eventually interact. Children and youth obtain their "scripts" from us, the adults.

Likewise, our peers' eyes are always scanning those around them, just as many of us seem to have an obsession with worrying about others' actions much more than we do our own. Others "judge" how we dress, our hair cuts, our grooming, the way we live our lives, what vehicles we choose to drive, the homes we choose to inhabit and call home. Eyes are on us constantly it seems.

All the more reason we should worry not about others' judging of us and worry more about ourselves about our actions and presentation. When we are happy with ourselves it shows, thus the judgments of others are much less negative. When others see we are comfortable in our own skin they are much less likely to perceive our actions/presentation as a thing to judge; they are much more inclined to take a closer look at themselves and introspect as to why they aren't just as satisfied with their own lives.

And sometimes we are just as bad about judging others.Thus the question remains, "How can I free myself from judging others". Our judgments hurt only us—they fester, and can even cause us to implode and become sick. They really don’t (usually) affect anyone else.

Any time we have judgment, it is an indicator we have something to heal within our self. The great thing about this is that when we understand this, we have the opportunity to live a much more peaceful existence.

Why care about having a peaceful existence? Personally, I would rather die a happy, fulfilled, and peaceful person, not leave this world an angry, bitter and resentful individual. The more we judge, the easier it becomes to do it again, and again. At some point we will find our self unhappy, angry and pessimistic much of the time. Is this how you want to live? Is this how you want to die? I think not.

What about those who judge just a little, or every now and then? Given how short life is, do we really want to waste even a minute on anything but what brings is happiness and fulfillment? I know I don’t (Thomas). John 7:24 in the Good Book states, "Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment” (King James Version, Holy Bible). In other words, look inward before thinking about judging others. Judge self, for when we judge ourselves we realize there is nothing we should be judging of others.

Self inspection means self reflections which means self fixing. Spending time fixing "US" puts "US" on the correct path to personal success.

Keep looking up. : ) AJ

Daily Reading - Allen James' Daily Guide to Success series - "A Man's Daily Guide to Success"

Our reading from Allen James' Daily Guide to Success series for March 19th comes from "A Man's Daily Guide to Success" and reads, "Appreciate the opinions of others".

Allen James' Daily Guide to Success calendar books series, "is the result of a culmination of daily thoughts which each of us can draw from to grow in our day to day journey through life. APPLYING these can aide in our attaining a fulfilling, positive experience to personal success" (James, 2012).

Notice the key word from the back cover of ALL Allen James calendar books, "APPLY". Without making application of the book's daily readings they become nothing but words. Without action they are as the Holy Bible says about faith, "Faith without works is dead" (James 2:17, Holy Bible, King James Version). These books are meant to be used. If not they become nothing but a dust collector on a shelf or coffee table.

In appreciating the opinions of others we do two things; helps us grow in our understanding, knowledge and appreciation of other human beings and helps others express themselves and come to accept they have worth outside of themselves.

There are four critical aspects of "self" which stand in the way of our appreciation of others' opinions:

Jealousy: We cannot appreciate and support others when we are jealous of others.

We must work to erase jealousy from our minds, hearts and souls in order to appreciate and give support.

Ignorance attitude: Today we live a better life in many aspects, but why we are living a better life? Many times we fail to acknowledge the role others' opinions have played in our being who we are. If we are so ignorant about others' influence in our lives, we cannot truly appreciate their opinions.

We must work to rise above ignorance. Many times ignorance comes due to our lack of using our brain's analytical power.

Callous attitude: Intentionally or unintentionally. many of us are too callous of others. We must cultivate personal relationships.
Man is a social animal and we each need support, appreciation and recognition.

Again, when we open up our hearts to appreciate others, it not only adds to our lives, but theirs as well. Appreciation should be heartfelt; from the soul.

Appreciate the opinions of others. Keep looking up. : ) AJ

Daily Reading - Allen James' Daily Guide to Success series - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

The March 18th reading from Allen James' Daily Guide to Success series' "The Journey: A Calendar Book"; "Respect others' property".

Having a respect for others' personal belongings/property is a character trait which, like most things in ...our lives, gets taken for granted. Again, getting consumed with the busy lives we lead takes our attention away from the very acts which bring us personal success.

Remember, living consciously means realizing every thought, every act, every deed affects our very immediate futures as well as our distant futures. Disrespecting others' property by not paying attention to the vehicle next to us in the parking lot and "accidentally" dinging the vehicle door is an example of not living consciously in one respect. If we were AWARE of pulling in too close to the vehicle next to us this error wouldn't happen. Another example of disrespect of others' property we may not be aware of is littering. This is not only disrespecting the property of where the litter falls, but as well where the trash pitched from a vehicle or blown from a garbage can not secured ends up after being blown either by the wind or by passing vehicles.

You get the picture I'm sure. Show respect others' property, and remember, even the smallest of actions have an effect on those around us.

Keep looking up. : ) AJ


Our reading for March 17th from Allen James' "Daily Guide to Success" series is..."Continue to grow".

One never ceases to learn. Keeping active not onlt physically but also mentally and emotionally keeps us young in body, mind, and spirit. Continuing to seek in our lives stifles boredom, stifles stagnation, stifles complacency.

Searching out information which we've always had interests in knowing more about is not a difficult task in today's "information age".

The only excuse we have for not growing is laziness. Take charge of your life. Don't allow the busy life you lead to keep you from contining your growth.

All you have to do is type in and click "SEARCH".

Keep looking up. :) AJ.

Daily Reading - Allen James' Daily Guide to Success/A Man's Daily Guide to Success

The reading for March 16th from "A Man's Daily Guide to Success" is, "REALLY listen to people".

Listening and hearing are two very different activities. Hearing someone speak to us simply means sound waves are entering our ears (outer ear...), passing through our eardrums (middle ear) and then being amplified through electrical impulses (inner ear) and sent to the brain to be processed into meaningful information.

Listening is far more complicated. Listening is the "ability to accurately receive messages in the communication process" (www.skillsyouneed.com). Communication is the sharing of meaning with the end result of UNDERSTANDING. Thus listening is vital to personal success as without UNDERSTANDING we fail to hit the mark.

Case in point, when I was around 12 I recall with rancor an event which had I been actively listening I would have bypassed what ended up to be a very uncomfortable situation. Granted, it's very difficult to "listen" when the small space in which I lived growing up is shared with 9 other "vocal" individuals.

My father was in the bathroom going through his daily routine of shaving (an event which usually found my sister admiring her father as he meticulously groomed his face till he once again was 1st Sergeant Sterling Sylvester Harryman.

Our side door wasn't always the easiest to close. One winter afternoon my oldest brother came in the door and pushed it to shut it. However, it didn't catch. My father yelled from the bathroom, "Shut the door". I, in my failure to "listen" and only "hearing" the sound of a voice, not realizing it was my father, instead thinking it was my brother, yelled back, "Shut it yourself".

Wrong answer. Had I been really listening, the outcome would not have been the knot which resulted on my noggin. Lesson learned.

Years later, in preparing for my role as psychotherapist it was much easier for me to take the lesson learned while implementing the important task of listening to what people are really saying when they talked to me.

UNDERSTANDING the messages we receive by really listening to what they are saying not only helps us, but also helps others as only when we understand can we assist in the best way possible.

REALLY listen to people. This shows others you are truly concerned about their needs.

Keep looking up. : ) AJ

Daily Reading: Calendar Books by Allen James' Daily Guide to Success Series - The Journey: A Calendar Book

The winners in the March 15th Goodreads' give-a-way of Allen James' "The Journey: A Calendar Book" are Diane Bodsford from Midlothian Virginia and Lisa Downing from Tulsa Oklahoma. Congratulations ladies....your signed copies will be shipp...ed out soon.

Thanks to the over 800 individuals who registered for the give-a-way. Please take time to visit my website and author pages at:

www.jamesharryman2002.wix.com/allenjamesbooks
www.facebook.com/calendarbooksbyallenjames
www.lulu.com/spotlight/allenjames1961

The reading from "The Journey: A Calendar Book" for March 15th, the ides of March: "Be a friend".

Over the past three and 1/2 months we've seen readings from Calendar Books by Allen James such as:

Respect your siblings
Cultivate a best f...riend
Enjoy the company of others
Be compassionate
Go to social events
Be polite

Being a friend encompasses what Allen James' mission stands for. Personal success and positivity demand we be friendly. Personal success and positivity demand we maintain a friendly demeanor. A friend is one who supports. A friend is one who cares. A friend is one who makes time. A friend is one who seeks to build up, not tear down.

Over the years I've found being friendly far overshadows the alternative of ignoring, shunning, hating, and walking away in times of trouble. It truly does take a special person to cultivate an attitude of concern. It truly does take a special person to listen to our complaints when other things "appear" more important.

Be a friend. We may never realize how our actions affect those around us. In being a friend we will realize the outcomes will be more positive than negative.

Keep looking up. : ) AJ

Daily Reading from Allen James' Daily Guide to Success Calendar Books

This is the video I've selected for my author page at www.lulu.com/spotlight/allenjames1961.  I've also posted it on my fan page at www.facebook.com/calendarbooksbyallenjames .... Stevie Wonder's certainly reflect the Allen James mission.... thoughts?  Let me hear what you think....  

 

Again...I apologize for having to blog several days at one time....blogspot wasn't working for a few days....So here are the readings for March 9th, 10th, 11th, 12th, 13th, and today....AJ

 

Our reading for March 14th from "A Counselor's Daily Guide to Success"..."Strive to do a good job".
Work ethic is defined as:

"noun
a belief in the moral benefit and importance of work and its inherent ability to strengthen character.
... Origin:
1950–55" (Merriam/Webster)

Work enters our lives in a variety of forms: homework, housework, employment, vocation, avocation, fun work.

Having a strong belief in how each of these types of work benefits our daily lives in building character and self-worth also builds personal success.

Although we seldom get kudos for the job we do, knowing ourselves we are dedicated and "worth it" many times has to satisfy our need for affirmation. In the world of today there seems to be less and less affirmation from others, thus affirming ourselves is a must.

When we do a good job at whatever the task we feel not only ourselves but others gain from it. Being the best educator we can be, being the best crew member at a restaurant, being the best carpenter on a work site, being the best laborer in industry; no matter our role in the world of work, striving to do our best builds a better society overall.

Pat yourself on the back for the work you do. Affirm yourself for being committed to the job you do. Personal success comes naturally when we strive to do the best we can.

Keep looking up. : ) AJ

 

 

Our reading for March 13th from "The Journey: A Calendar Book" is "Be compassionate".
1st Corinthians 13:13 tells us: "And now abides faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love" (King James Bible).

Compassion is defined as follows:

"com·pas·sion
[kuhm-pash-uhn] Show IPA
noun
1.
a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering" (dictionary.com).

Sympathy is:


"sym·pa·thy
[sim-puh-thee] Show IPA noun, plural sym·pa·thies, adjective
noun
1.
harmony of or agreement in feeling, as between persons or on the part of one person with respect to another.
2.
the harmony of feeling naturally existing between persons of like tastes or opinion or of congenial dispositions.
3.
the fact or power of sharing the feelings of another, especially in sorrow or trouble; fellow feeling, compassion, or commiseration.
4.
sympathies.
a.
feelings or impulses of compassion.
b.
feelings of favor, support, or loyalty: It's hard to tell where your sympathies lie" (dictionary.com).

When we support our fellow men/women with a sharing of concern for one another we grow in character, emotion, and wellness. When others know they are being supported by another they grow in character, emotion, and wellness.

Letting those we care about see we care about them, truly care about them (not just giving "lip service") our relationships are cultivated and personal success is affected in a very positive way. Allowing our positive energies to reflect from our very beings grows euphoric results.

As we all know...there are plenty of not so positive things in life...reflecting our "goodness" builds a world of other compassionate individuals one block at a time.

Be compassionate. Keep looking up. : ) AJ

 

 

 

For March 12th from "A Woman's Daily Guide to Success"...."Be committed".
Earning personal success is just that...something we earn...personal success is not handed to us...personal success doesn't just happen. Personal success comes to u...s because we go out and find it, then expend much energy to get it. It's earned as we push ourselves toward it; being committed to the goals which we set...being committed to the idea of one day knowing we have accomplished what we set out to accomplish.

As men we are told almost on a regular basis we are afraid of commitment. There is a reason why we're told this so much by the opposite sex...Men are told we are afraid of commitment because of the simple fact that so many of us ARE afraid of commitment.

It's said "men never grow up". It's said we are stuck in adolescence and just go through the motions of becoming an adult.
For many this is true. Commitment comes difficult for adolescents because they haven't learned "HOW" to commit yet. Thus we men fear that which we have yet to learn.

As far as never growing up, I'm afraid the truth is most women like us this way. Their mothering, nurturing sides thrive on our not growing up. "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" taught us much about the distinct differences between the sexes. This doesn't mean we can't LEARN to commit.

Being committed to our personal success, our goals, our lives, our significant others is vital to reaching our personal success...is vital to our reaching our goals...is vital to our having abundant lives....is vital to our sharing a fulfilling relationship with our significant others.

Be committed. Keep looking up. : ) AJ

 

 

We read for March 11th from "A Teacher's Daily Guide to Success", "Believe in yourself".

The "buzz word" in education and psychology for much of the past 20 years was "self-esteem". School children across America were taught in small grou...ps by their school counselors the importance of self-esteem. Licensed Professional Counselors and Social Workers who worked with school aged children and youth toiled away daily at instilling in them the importance of believing in themselves, so much so "self-esteem" and "self-concept" both became overused words which today seem to not have the significance they should.

In my years working with young and adult clients alike, I encouraged believing in oneself through an 8 step process:

1 - Set goals. When you set goals, you have control.

2 - Recognize when you achieve your goals, this will build confidence.

3 - Consider reasons for failure. Everyone fails to achieve some goal, but if learning from the failure, success is more likely in the future.

4 - Use realistic expectations to judge success. Do not expect to run a four minute mile, it takes training and conditioning to run a four minute mile. Judging success by looking at the gap between where one begins and where one want to be is vital. This perspective helps gauge what remains to be accomplished. Judge by looking at progress from 2-3 years ago or 2 months ago. This helps us know how far we have come. Both perspectives are valid.

5 - Listen to critics, but never accept self-doubt. Some critics will "bite into" our bubble to tear us down only to make themselves look bigger and better, while others will offer critical advice to help us make changes for improvement.

6 - Give time and energy to others. When we do this, we get positive feedback and respect from others. These are building blocks for self respect...which is essential to self-belief.

7 - NEVER give up on our dreams, goals or aspirations; we never realize them until we put them into action.

8 - In believing, we will find our best. Believing in ourself is the key to personal success in life.

Keep looking up. : ) AJ

 

 

The reading for March 10th from "The Journey: A Calendar Book" is a quote by Bill Gates...prior to the years 2000 he stated, "As we look ahead into the next century, leaders will be those who empower us".
Be one of those leaders who empower others, and yourself, to reach your potential. Share your personal success, thus affect the future generations through your support of what is to come.

Keep looking up. :) AJ

 

 

For March 9th from "The Journey: A Calendar Book"...."Be aware".

Dictionary.com defines aware as, "

"a·ware
[uh-wair] Show IPA
... adjective
1.
having knowledge; conscious; cognizant: aware of danger.
2.
informed; alert; knowledgeable; sophisticated: She is one of the most politically aware young women around.
Origin:
before 1100; Middle English, variant of iwar, Old English gewær watchful (cognate with Old High German, Old Saxon giwar, German gewahr ), equivalent to ge- y- + wær ware2" (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/aware?s=t).

Over my 20 years in private practice as a psychotherapist THE most important advice I gave my patients we to live consciously. Having an awareness of the world around us changes everything about us. Living consciously means to know every moment of every day, every decision we make, every thought we think has an effect on the outcome of our daily life.

It's such a simple concept, but our busy lives impedes us from working at being so aware...it stifles us from reaching our personal success.

Be aware. Of it all.

Daily Reading: Allen James' Daily Guide to Success series: "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

Today's reading from "The Journey: A Calendar Book" takes yesterday's reading, "Set realistic goals" a step further: "Work toward your goals".

Once you feel the goals you've set for yourself are realistic (not too easy, not to difficult), set out to reach those goals. What good does it do us to set goals if we have no intention of "going for it"?

This is where it gets challenging. Working toward our goals changes our entire lives; we might have to set up an entirely different schedule for our days, we may need to get an additional job to realize our goal. Whatever adjustments we need to make to "make it happen", take action and do it. Even the smallest of "actions" will keep you motivated and show yourself you're working toward your goals.

We get nowhere if we do nothing. If we are serious about the goals we set for our self we will do whatever we need to to realize them.

Work toward your goals. Reach for the stars.

Keep looking up. : ) AJ

Daily Reading - Calendar Books by Allen James Daily Guide to Success series - "A Graduate's Daily Guide to Success"

From "A Graduate's Daily Guide to Success"...March 7th, "Set realistic goals".

“The victory of success is half won when one gains the habit of setting goals and achieving them.

Even the most tedious chore will become endurable as you parade through each day convinced that every task, no matter how menial or boring, brings you closer to fulfilling your dreams.”
– Og Mandino

Goal setting is a topic which we hear much about from the time we are seniors in high school throughout the remainder of our life; and it doesn't only apply to our working life. We set goals for our personal life as well as goals for our private life.

So, what can you do to keep your goals on track? Over the years I have found the following to be key components in setting realistic goals:

Component 1 – Write Your Goals Down

Studies and surveys have shown that you are far more likely to achieve your goals if you write it down. I personally like to write my goals down and refer to them daily to keep them at the front of my mind.

Writing down our goals also helps make them real to us. If we just think about a goal, it’s not physically real – and it’s easy for us to change our minds. When we write it down however, the very act of writing helps us commit to the goals – and also gives us something we can visually see and reflect on.

Component 2 – Set Short Term Benchmarks

Goals that are far out of reach are easy to procrastinate on and put off. It’s fine to have long term dreams – but in the short run, you should have regular mile stones as well.

For example, if your goal is to write a novel, rather than just saying you’ll write a novel this year and leave it at that, instead commit to a certain number of pages or words a month – these short term milestones will help you stay on track, and will make your long term goal much more manageable.

Component 3 – Be Specific

If your goal is to “lose weight” – how will you know when you’re done? Going along with the above of setting short term mile stones, even if your long term goal is “get in better shape” – you can still be specific such as “be in good enough shape to play football for two hours twice a week.”

The more specific you are, the better motivated you’ll be as you get closer to achieving your goal. With vague goals, it’s very easy to get discouraged, because you may not feel like you’re getting closer to due to having no clear end in sight.

Use specific, tangible words in your goals such as measurements and (if applicable) a date by which they will be accomplished.

Component 4 – Measure Actions as Well As Progress

Sticking with the theme of setting fitness goals, many people I know get frustrated when they set a specific goal such as “lose 20 pounds by summer” – and then fall short of their goal. While it’s good to have aggressive goals, in some situations it may be better to measure your actions instead of your progress.

So for example, instead of setting fitness goals based on pounds lost, you could set goals for the amount of cardio you do every week and whether you keep your calories below a certain threshold.

This is also good for vague goals that may be difficult to measure, such as achieving proficiency playing a sport or playing an instrument. Setting goals based on perhaps 1 or 2 hours of practice a day may be more helpful than simply saying “get better before school starts.”

Component 5 – Start With Just One Goal

You may decide you want to turn your life around and set out to accomplish a laundry list of goals at once.

Unfortunately, trying to accomplish too many things at once is frequently a recipe for failure. For most people, changing too many aspects of their lives requires an overwhelming amount of willpower, and ends up being unrealistic.

Component 6 – Schedule In Time For Your Goals

If you don’t make time for your goals, you’ll never accomplish them – it’s as simple as that. Along those sames lines, generally speaking, the more time you allocate per day to your goal, the faster you’ll achieve it.

Rather than leave it to chance, schedule a specific time every day for your goal. This is part of the reason why organized sports and personal trainers are so effective for people looking to improve their fitness – the activity has a set block of time on their schedule, and so people attend regularly.

Component 7 – Set Goals You Actually Want To Achieve

Rumor has it that a philosopher in Europe once posted this message on his telephone answering machine:

“This device is programmed to ask two simple questions:

Who are you and what do you want?

Most people live their entire lives without ever answering either one.”
– from The Magic Lamp: Goal Setting For People Who Hate Setting Goals

Don’t set goals because you think you “should” or because they “sound good.”

Look at your life and the direction you want it to take – set goals that you realistically can achieve, but more important – pick goals you want to achieve (Savara 2012).

Set realistic goals on your journey to personal success.

Keep looking up. : ) AJ

Daily Reading...Allen James' Daily Guide to Success series, "A Woman's Daily Guide to Success"

Calendar Books by Allen James' reading for March 6th from "A Woman's Daily Guide to Success" is, "Contemplate your future". From "A Teacher's Daily Guide to Success" we read, "Contemplate your future, again".

Research tells us Americans change jobs on average every 4.5 years (US Bureau of Labor Statistics, 2013). I decided to take a look back over my own working life to see if this holds true for me. I came up with very similar results:

1977 - 1982 - Worked in Food Service = 5 years
1982 - 1986 - Worked in Hospitality = 4.5 years
1986 - 1994 - High School English Teacher = 8 years
1994 - 2000 - High School Counselor = 6 years
2000 - 2006 - Private Psychotherapist = 7 years
2006 - 2013 - Vocational Counselor = 7 years

Sitting down and considering it more closely makes one realize how busy, or not busy, they have been over 36 years.

Yet notice I said research reports Americans change "jobs" on average every 4.5 years, not "careers". Most of my adult years have been spent in one career field (education) with varying jobs in that career field. Certainly every 4 - 6 years I've contemplated my future closely...closely enough to make changes advancing myself to gain more from the field.

A close friend and mentor of mine years ago taught me the importance of not making hasty decisions when considering career changes. She would say, "H, try sitting down and making a two column like of the pros and cons of the decision. If the column with the cons is larger than the column with the pros, you might want to think twice about making the change". Great advice, and advice I've taken each time I've changed positions.

There are 6 main reasons we change jobs or make career changes:
1. Life changes which require career adjustment
2. The job outlook in the field we're in worsens
3. Job burnout
4. Stress levels are out of control
5. We become bored with our current position (differs from burnout)
6. $$$$

Regardless of where you are in your current position, work wise or otherwise, contemplate your future. Making change can open you to a whole new world of exploration and adventure.

Keep looking up. : ) AJ

Daily Reading...Allen James' Daily Guide to Success series/"The Journey: A Calendar Book"

This past weekend's readings, March 2nd and 3rd, "Have a roommate at least once in your life" and "Graduate"....respectively.

From "The Journey: A Calendar Book" for March 4th, "You've got a mind, use it".

What's interesting about this reading is the myth which has been going around for decades we use only 10% of our brain. If this were true those who tend to let others think for them would be "up the creek without a paddle". Barry Gordon, neurologist at Johns Hopkins School of Medicine in Baltimore says, the 10% myth is so wrong it's almost laughable (www.scientificamerican.com).

"The myths durability stems from people's conceptions about their own brain: they see their own shortcomings as evidence of the existence of untapped gray matter. This is a false assumption."It turns out though, that we use virtually every part of the brain, and that [most of] the brain is active almost all the time," Gordon adds. "Let's put it this way: the brain represents three percent of the body's weight and uses 20 percent of the body's energy" (www.scientificamerican.com).

Don't allow unfounded assumptions affect your abilities. Don't allow unfounded assumptions to hamper you from being all you c an be. Don't allow unfounded assumptions to become obstacles in your journey to personal success.

You've got a brain, use it....to its full potential, 100%.

Keep looking up. : ) AJ

Daily Reading....Allen James' "Daily Guide to Success" series books

The reading for March 1st from all "Daily Guide to Success" books is "Stay connected with family as an adult".

Family members can be a "ray of sunshine" in our lives or a "thorn in our sides". Which they are to you can be an interesting balancing act. It has been said you don't have to like your family but you just have to love them.

The concept of birth order plays a large role in the relationships you develop with family members; the oldest tends to be the "in charge" sibling who busies themselves with attempting to keep peace among the rest. The middle child always feels left out, constantly needs attention or goes through life never seeming to be able to find happiness. The baby has something to prove so he/she becomes an overachiever since they were never "good enough" for the remaining siblings.

Maybe you have a sister who just can't keep out of your business. Or there's that brother who is as good as gold to you and clearly has your best interest in mind at all times. Steering clear of the nosy sister without being hateful would be wise...it doesn't mean you lose all contact with her.

Keeping up with family members without having to be involved in their adult lives has become much less confrontational with the rise of social media. Facebook, LinkedIn, Yahoo all allow us to keep in contact at a distance; many times a must for our own sanity.

 Regardless, knowing what your family is up to and cultivating adult relationships with them in some manner builds personal success. They may not always appreciate you or where your life direction is taking you, but having the assurance family is always there can be a stabilizer in the many ups and downs we experience.

Keep looking up. : ) AJ