Calendar Books by Allen James - Special Posting

 

I've figured "it" out...and "it" is beyond my control

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

 Browse/preview/purchase Allen James' books at:

www.lulu.com/spotlight/allenjames1961 or
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James' latest, a children's book entitled, Crystal the Condor Makes Friends is now available.

Allen James writes for September 30th from The Journey: A Calendar Book;

"Do the things YOU enjoy doing the most" (James, 2012).

How often do we spend time following the lead of others in activities outside of work.  Enjoyment means enjoyment for US.  Certainly, we may share in our enjoying with others, but allowing ourselves to follow along JUST BECAUSE we do not have the ump to stand up for ourselves and say, "Hey, I think I'm going to do what I enjoy for a change".

The way we spend our time is the way we spend our lives, plain and simple. Harvey MacKay, an entrepreneur, motivational speaker, author, and syndicated columnist has stated;

“Time is free, but it’s priceless. You can’t own it, but you can use it. You can’t keep it, but you can spend it. Once you’ve lost it you can never get it back.”

Did you know the average lifespan of an ant is about 50 days?
Imagine for a moment we, like the ant, only have 50 days left to live.
How would this time be spent?

Spend time wisely.

There are two parts to spending time wisely:

1. Spend our time on appropriate things
2. Spend our time in an efficient manner

Spending our time on the appropriate things

In order to spend time on the appropriate things there are four things we must know:

• How do I currently spend my time?
• What’s my dream?
• What skills and other resources do I need to achieve my dream?
• What are the specific activities to do next?

How do I currently spend my time?

The first step to spending time on the appropriate things is to be aware of how we currently spend our time. Imagine for a moment sitting alone on our bed, We’re a 100 years old, weak, tired and we know the end is near, and we're asking ourself the question of questions: “How did I live my life?”

It’s impossible to answer this question without reflecting on how our time was spent.
Would it be good idea to start reflecting on how this time was spent a little earlier than on our death-bed?  I think so, and here’s what happens when we do:

• We become aware of the choices we make
• We make different choices
• We spend our time differently
• Our lives becomes different
• We do more of the things WE enjoy doing

There are few things in life I believe are more important than being aware of how our time is spent.
Try working on the following:

• Carry your phone with you at all times for one week
• Document what you spend your time on, when the activity happens, in the “notes” application of your phone using this template*:
  • The date of the activity, e.g. 20^th of October 2014
  • The activity itself, e.g. “Replying to email”, “Making dinner for the family” or “Resting on the couch”, “Jogging”, Watching TV” and so forth
  • The time the activity started
  • The time the activity ended
  • The type of activity (not important & urgent (NIU), not important & not urgent (NINU), important & urgent (IU) or important & not urgent (INU)
• Go through what you’ve recorded at the end of each day and the week and ask yourself:

What changes would I like to make to how I spend my time?

Do the things YOU enjoy doing the most....time, it is a fleeting.... Keep looking up.  : )   AJ

(rethinkingtime.com)

 

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendr Books"

From Allen James' calendar book, The Journey: A Calendar Book for September 29th we read:

"Have integrity" (James, 2012).

Ah...there's one of those character traits again of which we spoke a few days ago.  Integrity....what exactly does it mean? 

The Merriam/Webster online dictionary defines integrity as, "the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness (www.merriam/webster.com).

From me to you....ENOUGH SAID.

Have integrity......it's indeed something necessary on the journey to personal success.

Keep looking up.  : )  AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

Browse/preview/purchase The Journey: A Calendar Book and other Allen James publications for 25% off, only at:

www.lulu.com/spotlight/allenjames1961
www.jamesharryman2002.wix.com/allenjamesbooks

His latest, a children's book, Crystal the Condor Makes Friends is now available as well.
Today's thought from The Journey: A Calendar Book reads:

"Be helpful and considerate to others" (James, 2012).

Recall my speaking of those character traits we teach our children/youth?  This is one such traits WE should commit to memory, especially in today's rushed world where we general pass others by ignoring their needs, focused on only getting what WE need accomplished, accomplished; WE don't have time to be helpful and considerate to others. Shameful.

Lynne Nofziger says "being thoughtful, considerate, kind, caring and respectful of others is one of the greatest self-serving actions that you can take". How we treat and think of others is a direct reflection of how we think of ourselves.  What an eye opening reality! Thus, being kind to other people can make a huge difference in our kindness. There are actually very few people in the world beyond ours who display rude behaviors; they just don’t realize they just aren’t making a conscientious effort to think of others feelings. We can motivate ourselves into becoming more helpful and considerate  of others by:

•  Admitting to ourselves we are not perfect. In fact, realize, at times, we can be extremely inconsiderate and selfish. Many times we don’t even realize it at the moment; but when we realize this has happened, consider how we could have acted differently in the situation. This is a very important part of becoming respectful, kind and caring to others.
• As Attitcus Finch told Scout in To Kill a Mockingbird, place ourselves in others' shoes. This is a key concept in becoming respectful. Consider how others feel. What their needs and wants may be in a given situation. Look at things from their perspective. Make a conscious effort to think of what others are really going through. What would I want to have happen if I were in their place. This task isn’t always easy, but it will get easier with practice. Sometimes we may not be correct in our assumptions about others' wants or needs, but it is an important step for us to make the effort to try.

• When dealing with other people, always attempt to act with compassion and kindness. If someone else is distressed, even just a little bit, try to ease their suffering in some way. Treating others with kindness, respect, and love is one of the best ways to show consideration. We can do this in little ways such as a smile, a kind word, a thank you, or a hug. We can also go out of our way to be courteous to others by holding open a door or letting another person in front of us in traffic. Random acts of kindness go a long way and make a big, big difference.


• Practice always improves our efforts and our attitude toward others. Making it a priority with every interaction with another person is a chance to practice being considerate. Every time I speak with someone, send out an email, or even pass someone on the street is an opportunity to practice consideration and respectfulness. Practice, practice, and then, practice some more. This is how we get really good at anything.

There are amazing personal rewards which accompany being more considerate to others: First and foremost, it just feels good to be kind to others, do nice things for them, and make other people happier. Second, it makes our life better in so many ways. People start to treat US with more respect and kindness. They may tend to even like us better, and they may be more likely to want to work with and be with us. And, very importantly, our efforts can make society better a better place to be. Yes, we can make a difference in our worlds. Think of what we could have if we all were to treat each other with caring, thoughtfulness, kindness, and respect. We could live better together and work better together. Our small, considerate actions can have an immediate and dramatic effect on our lives and the lives of others, helping to ease our journey to personal success.

Keep looking up....and smile while we're ..... looking up.  : )   AJ

(Lynne Nofziger)

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

Browse/preview/purchase Allen James', The Journey: A Calendar Book at:

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www.jamesharryman2002.wix.com/allenjamesbooks

"Be committed to your dreams" (James, 2012)

The definition of the commitment to which I am making reference is "an agreement or pledge to do something in the future;something pledged c :  the state or an instance of being obligated or emotionally impelled <a commitment to a cause>" (merriam/webster.com).

 

Pledging to, agreeing to, obligating ourselves to, and being emotionally impelled to our dreams is not a small task.  Most dreams are illusive, meaning deceiving or seemingly out of our reach.  So many of those we view who attain their "dreams" are those who go about getting them by unscrupulous means, have been born into money, or come into large amounts of money suddenly are able to buy their dreams.

 

Don't be deceived.  Dreams, just as personal success, come in a variety of forms.  Not all of us have dreams which require money to attain them.  Although our dreams many times DO appear illusive, being committed to achieving them only aids in our reaching personal success. 

 

Riding this globe around the sun, can sometimes be overwhelming and complicated. We dream of living better lives or achieving great goals. Just as there are those born into wealth, however; there are many, who's present lives result from being born into difficult circumstances or surviving tragedies. No matter where we find ourselves, it is also a result of all the choices we’ve made along the way.


Yet we hear about people who overcame impossible odds to achieve wealth or fame. They’re often tales of being at the correct place at the correct time, a coincidence, or meeting the person who has connections just when they need to. What’s going on with this? Did the lucky few who made it find Aladdin’s magic lamp delivering these miracles? How do the rest of us get one of those?

Turns out we all have a magic lamp. It is our unshakeable commitment to achieve our dreams. No matter where we find ourselves, I believe this commitment is always inside and waiting to be tapped. But how do we tap it? How do we get the genie out of our own magic lamp so miracles happen for us?

It is my belief success — however each of us defines it — is achieved by following these steps:

1. Choose to commit to your goal or dream.
2. Pursue relentless action aligned to our commitment.
3. Expect and have faith we will get help along the way.
4. Show sincere gratitude for the help and results.

If I can do it, anyone can. The secret is commitment, which at heart is a declaration we believe in ourselves.

Be committed to your dreams....and keep looking up.  : )   AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

Browse/preview/purchase and of Allen James publications by clicking either of the links below:

www.jamesharryman2002.wix.com/allenjamesbooks or
www.lulu.com/spotlight/allenjames1961

From The Journey: A Calendar Book for September 26th we read:

"Be self-disciplined" (James, 2012).

     If you are reading this blog, you are one who is attempting to accomplish one or a number of the following:

• Aiming to let go of your negative outlook on your world
• Searching for tools to express and magnify your positive persona
• Struggling to keep your feet planted on the path which will bring you personal success
• Reaching out for ways to improve your already "direct" journey path and push away the brambles which line the trail
• Find yourself in a world which may encourage our finding ourselves, but in actuality discourages us from knowing our true selves for fear of our realizing our "ah ha" moment

      Thus you may already very aware of my intentions in presenting these daily readings as those "tools", those "encouragements", those ways to "magnify" your positivity toward personal success.  Again, my words are not magical....my words are not even close to epiphany causing, but they can be inspiring; they may be an aid in your daily journey; they may even be the motivation you need to move forward. 

     I will tell you this, each reading is WHAT helped ME find the personal success I possess.  Certainly, looking at my professional life at this very moment one would think, "He's nuts!".  Ah...but this isn't about professional success....it's about PERSONAL success.  We may be brought down professionally due to our lack of control of others' actions, but we CAN NEVER be brought down personally less we allow it, and as I've stated before, I REFUSE TO ALLOW OTHERS TO CONTROL MY EMOTIONS AND SELF ACKNOWLEDGEMENT.

     Self-discipline is KEY in this task.  I walk away from situations which deter my personal success.  I dispense of those who enter my circle with negativity.  I choose not to eat foods which will not allow me to maintain the outer person I choose to be.  I steer clear of situations which I might have the temptation to make choices which would "be a bramble" in my pathway to personal success.
It seems natural for us to consider the highly self-disciplined individual as being miserable misers or uptight Puritans, but exerting self-control creates happier selves, not only in the long run, but also in the moment.


      Research published in the Journal of Personality, showed self-control isn’t just about deprivation, but more about managing conflicting goals. Since most people associate highly disciplined folks with being more task-oriented — they’re not likely to be the life of the party, for example, or eager to act on a whim — the scientists decided to correlate self-control with people’s happiness, to determine if being self-disciplined leaves people feeling less joyful.

     Through a series of tests — including one which assessed 414 middle-aged participants on self-control and asked them about their life satisfaction both currently and in the past — and another which randomly queried volunteers on their smartphones about their mood and any desires they might be experiencing, the researchers found a strong connection between higher levels of self-control and life satisfaction. The authors write, “feeling good rather than bad may be a core benefit of having good self-control, and being well satisfied with life is an important consequence.”
The smartphone experiment also revealed how self-control may improve mood. Those who showed the greatest self-control reported more good moods and fewer bad ones. But this didn’t appear to linked to being more able to resist temptations — it was because they exposed themselves to fewer situations which might evoke "craving" (and I use the word in a general sense) in the first place. They were, in essence, setting themselves up to happy. “People who have good self-control do a number of things that bring them happiness — namely, they avoid problematic desires and conflict,” says the study’s co-author Kathleen Vohs, professor of marketing at the University of Minnesota.

     So why does exerting more self-discipline seem so dreary? Dieting, for example, is all about self-control but isn’t necessarily associated with happy thoughts. Partly due to do the effort required to bypass or diffuse conflicts created by temptation. “From other research, we know that exercising self-control is taxing,” says Smith-Crowe, but may only be a perception, since it results from our tendency to focus on the difficulty of exercising discipline rather than the benefits resulting when we do.

Be self-disciplined .... and make your path to personal success less of a struggle.  Keep looking up. 
: )

(Maia Szalavitz)

    

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

Browse/preview/purchase Allen James' publications by clicking on either of the links below:

www.lulu.com/spotlight/allenjames1961 or
www.calendarbooksbyallenjames.wix.com/allenjamesbooks

I embrace today's reading with renewed strength and claim the victory which is stated in the Good Book...Philippians 4:13 (which has always been my favorite verse of scripture:  "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (KJV)...

"Always remember: Failure is NEVER an option" (James, 2012).

Failure, not unlike personal success, is procured in our psyche long before our adult years.  How we perceive the connotative meaning of the word depends on our mindset.  However; I maintain failure is never an option on the journey to personal success.  Sure, there are going to be failures along the way, this is only natural, but again, it's all about our perceptions of these failures...how WE understand denotative meaning of the word. Too often we are "tricked" by others who wish for us not to success, thus "destroying" us is their only option, it is the only way for THEM to feel like successes, worthwhile; they refuse to allow others to celebrate what is actually success by spinning it into a failure.

When we misstep in our journey, we "pick ourselves up by the straps of our boots" and trudge ahead.  Lessons learned from missteps are most often the best.

When we do not meet our goals and objectives; it is painful to our striving toward personal success, and is just as painful to worry about how others will react to such failure. The paradox is we do everything we can to avoid these pains even though we all know failure is the best teacher and we have to be open and talk about our failures in order to learn. More than this, openly acknowledging failure is often a catalyst for innovation taking us from good to great.

To address this conundrum we need a paradigm shift in how civil society views failure.  We think this starts with open and honest dialogue about what is working and what isn’t so Admitting Failure exists to support and encourage organizations to (not surprisingly) admit failure.

Fear, embarrassment, and intolerance of failure drives our learning underground and hinders innovation.  No more. Failure is strength. The most effective and innovative individuals are those who are willing to speak openly about their failures because the only truly “bad” failure is one which is repeated.


No question failure and rejection cause us pain, and this pain can be--at least in the moment--excruciatingly disappointing. Yet it is really not possible to go through life without such adverse experiences, so strenuously attempting to avoid them is ultimately as foolish and self-defeating as it is futile.

Remember: failure is NEVER an option in the bigger picture of personal success.  Keep looking up.
: )  AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "A Graduate's Daily Guide to Success"

August 25th, from A Graduate's Daily Guide to Success reads,

"Remember, our actions determine our destiny" (James, 2012).

How many times have we heard, "Actions speak louder than words"?  Too numerous to count I'd guess.  Yet we are all cognizant the phrase is a fact. We often forget the great power we posses within ourselves to shape our lives by the choices we make. We are the one who choose how to live our lives or create our lives' paths. To be certain, our future will not be determined by chance, but rather by the choices we make today. 

Life is a series of choices. The choices we make now affect the options available for the next round of choices. Learning what to choose, and how to choose, may be the most important education we will ever receive. There is no such thing as the perfect human. All of us are imperfect whether we like it or not; we surely need not add additional stress to our lives because of it. It is our imperfections which make us, human. 

These imperfections teach us about ourselves and the mistakes we make in life will teach us how to be a more better human being. And those who let their mistakes teach them and not rule them are one step closer to becoming the perfect. There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroads. The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days. And, of course when faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back.  This would not be a trait toward personal success.

There may be times we make choices which cause our path to become tough, confusing and uncertain. Our path seems like a series of hills and valleys, there is never any balance.When this happens, we should stop and examine the choices which have taken us down this path. We should evaluate those choices and identify alternatives or new choices which will bring us back to our true path-the one we originally created.

Remember, our choices determine our destiny.  Keep looking up.  : )   AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading -- "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

Yesterday and today's readings were so vital to personal success, I opted to place them together today:

September 22nd, "Always be a man of character".

September 23rd, "Take responsibility for yourself".

Baammm.....talk about being hit by a freight train...when considering these two readings most of us cringe with personal fear. However, our character and our personal responsibility are two aspects of personal success which if not kept in check can cause us a level of depression which seems insurmountable.

No matter our choices, if we allow others to question our character, then we have no character.  As well, if we don't realize we are responsible for our own actions, and not the actions of anyone other, then personal success will NEVER be ours.

We've all heard the saying, "Bad things happen to good people", I'm sure.  Folks, the reality is, "Bad things happen to everyone".  Looking ahead, one of my most favored reading is "The Journey: A Calendar Book" reading for October 3rd, "Realize, success has costs". We see around us everywhere the reminders of character, the bank drive through window stands out in my mind, hoping to instill in our children and youth the character which we as adults MUST model for those words seen and taught at school to become reality for our children and youth.  The cost of maintaining adult character are so great we can be tempted to allow ourselves to falter in LIVING those words.  Yet the cost of not LIVING those words of adult character personally are much greater. 

Respect:

Treating others with courtesy Having control over one’s actions, and honor.  

Self Control:

Having control over one's actions, words and emotions.

Citizenship:

Being loyal to your school, community, and country.

Compassion:

Caring for others with kindness. 

Tolerance:

Accepting differences and the uniqueness of others and celebrating the common ground we share.

Honest:

Being truthful in what you say and do.

Cooperation: 

Working together toward a common goal.

Perseverance:

Demonstrating determination and commitment to complete a task.

Patience:

Ability to remain calm and to wait for what you want.

Confidence:

Freedom from doubt and believing in yourself.

Integrity:

Always doing the right thing even when no one else is watching.

Responsibility:

Taking ownership of what you say and do. 

Always be an individual of character, then take responsibility for the character you live....and as always...keep looking up.  : )  AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

Today's reading is a quote by renowned comedian, Jonathan Winters, whom many may recall as the character of the old grey haired lady, Maude Frickert in his comedy with Dean Martin:

"If your ship doesn't come in, swim out and meet it" (Winters).

Personal success most often doesn't come up and slap us in the face;  it comes with diligence and motivation. This was something comedian Johnathan Winters knew well. While it is said in a humorous manner, the quote is actually very serious. How long are we willing to wait for the perfect opportunity? How long are we willing to wait for our ship to come in?

 All too often we allow personal success to cruise by, ready for us, but not close enough for us to conveniently get to it? Yes, it would be nice to walk up the gang-plank and be greeted by the Captain as a dignitary. But what if it just isn’t going to happen?  The quote says we should go ahead and get wet! Swim out to it as soon as it gets close! Every time we watch it going away, we must wonder if it will come back. And sometimes it doesn’t. What then? We're out of luck, all because we didn’t get moving. Not a good thing for certain.
   
We’d all like to think the perfect opportunity will be awaiting us, just around the next corner. However, most of us know from experience this is rarely the case. We have to weigh our options, and then take advantage of our best opportunity.  Sometimes the cost of taking this opportunity is not being able to take the next opportunity. However, in my experience, waiting for something better usually results in having nothing. It may be a fine line, but if we’re waiting for opportunity to find us, we may be waiting for a very long time.
Taking advantage of opportunities is the opposite of procrastination. Don’t be caught sitting on the dock as the ship sails away and we're not aboard. Sometimes we will have to get wet and claw our way onto the boat like a half-drowned rat. But it may be the only way to take advantage of the opportunity.

I imagine we all have had the experience of missing out because we waited too long and the ship left without us. How often do we later wonder what we were waiting for? Yes, we’ve all been there. However, I would recommend going light on the recriminations, and learn from the experience.  How do we know it is our ship? This is a very personal question, and only we can answer it for ourselves. Not every ship which sails by or stops in is ours. Figuring out which is which is an interesting activity. But just sitting on our butt in the sand isn’t going to get us on board.  If we can figure out what we’re looking for, we can anticipate our ship, or at least be on the lookout for it. Then comes the moment of decision, do we wait and hope it comes in and docks, or do we swim out to meet it? It’s not always an easy thing to determine. By the time we figure out it is not coming in to dock, it may already be pulling away, headed off to get someone else, someone who wants to be onboard more than we did; not something we want to happen.

Thus once we have a good idea as to what we want to do, it might be prudent to keep a sharp eye out for the ship. Or, if on closer consideration, it is determined we aren’t waiting for a ship, but instead are waiting for a train, it might be time to leave the beach and find the train station. What we each want out of life we can usually manage to do, if we take advantage of the opportunities which move us in the appropriate direction. For most of the people I have read biographies of, and from my own experience, the path from where we are to where we want to be is rarely a straight line.

In how many areas of life are we waiting, passively, for something special to happen? We must take a moment to consider what we would need to make it worth swimming out to meet our ship? How good does it have to be to be worth it?  Keeping our eyes open for anything advancing us in the direction of our goals or dreams is necessary to spot our ship. Once we know how badly we want to get to it, we’ll know how far out we’re willing to swim to get to it.

Keep looking up.  : )   AJ


(www.philosiblog.com)

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

Zzzzzzzzzzz.....Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz....Zzzzzzzzzzzz = Alert!

Our reading for September 8th from Allen James' The Journey: A Calendar Book:

"Take naps" (James, 2012).

Personal success can only come from within.  Personal success can only come from the individual seeking it.  Personal success can only exist when we pursue it, when we prepare ourselves for it.

"You must sleep sometime between lunch and dinner, and no halfway measures. Take off your clothes and get into bed. That's what I always do. Don't think you will be doing less work because you sleep during the day. That's a foolish notion held by people who have no imaginations. You will be able to accomplish more. You get two days in one -- well, at least one and a half."
--Winston Churchill
 
As a short sleeper who is rarely in bed for more than six hours a night, I'm a strong believer in naps for recharging my batteries. Sir Winston and I are in good company. Napping enthusiasts have included Albert Einstein, Napoleon Bonaparte, Thomas Edison and at least three presidents: John F. Kennedy, Ronald Reagan and Bill Clinton. Besides, sleep researchers have shown regardless of how long one sleeps at night, the human body is programmed to become sleepy in the early afternoon, even without a big lunch.


"Napping should not be frowned upon at the office or make you feel guilty at home," writes Dr. James B. Maas, a psychologist and sleep expert at Cornell. "It should have the status of daily exercise."
In the old days, people would doze for an hour or so after the midday meal, and in some Latin American and European countries siestas are still in vogue.  It amazed me when I traveled to Europe to see Italy's busy businesses pull down their "garage door" store fronts for 3 hours in the afternoon. But in most industrialized nations, the usual response to the afternoon sag in energy is to try to jump-start the system with caffeine, a tactic sleep experts say is actually counterproductive, creating only the illusion of efficiency and alertness and depriving the body and brain of much-needed sleep.

How Naps Help
 
Now, however, there is growing evidence restorative naps are making a comeback. Recognizing most of their employees are chronically sleep-deprived, some companies have set up nap rooms with reclining chairs, blankets and alarm clocks. If unions are truly interested in worker welfare, they should make such accommodations a standard item in contract negotiations. Workers who take advantage of the opportunity to sleep for 20 minutes or so during the workday reportthey can then go back to work with renewed enthusiasm and energy. My college roommate, Dr. Linda Himot, a psychiatrist in Pittsburgh, who has a talent for 10-minute catnaps between patients, says these respites help her focus better on each patient's problems, which are not always scintillating. And companies that encourage napping report that it reduces accidents and errors and increases productivity, even if it shortens the workday a bit. Studies have shown sleepy workers make more mistakes and cause more accidents, and are more susceptible to heart attacks and gastrointestinal disorders.
A NASA scientist's study showed 24-minute naps significantly improved a pilot's alertness and performance on trans-Atlantic flights. (The co-pilot remained awake.) Dr. David Dinges, a sleep researcher at the University of Pennsylvania, is a strong advocate of prophylactic napping -- taking what he and others call a "power nap" during the day to head off the cumulative effects of sleep loss. He explained the brain "sort of sputters" when it is deprived of sufficient sleep, causing slips in performance and attentiveness and often resulting in "microsleeps" -- involuntary lapses into sleep, in which accidents can occur.

A brief afternoon nap typically leaves people feeling more energized than if they had tried to muddle through without sleeping. Studies have shown the brain is more active in people who nap than in those who don't sleep during the day.

Dr. Maas, the Cornell psychologist and author of "Power Sleep" (Villard Books, 1998), points out naps "greatly strengthen the ability to pay close attention to details and to make critical decisions." He also states "naps taken about eight hours after you wake have been proved to do much more for you than if you added those 20 minutes onto already adequate nocturnal sleep." There are two kinds of naps: brief ones taken to revive the brain and long ones taken to compensate for significant sleep loss. The reviving workday nap should not be longer than 30 minutes; any more and the body lapses into a deep sleep, from which it is difficult to awake.

How and When to Nap
 
Long naps help when we've accumulated a considerable sleep debt -- for example, when the previous night's sleep was much shorter than usual, or when we know we will have to be alert and awake considerably later than our usual bedtime. I usually try to nap for an hour or more before attending any late evening even. But long naps have a temporary disadvantage: they cause what researchers call sleep inertia, a grogginess upon awakening which can last about half an hour. Also, long naps can affect the body's clock, making it more difficult to wake up at the proper time in the morning.

As Dr. Maas maintains, "Brief naps taken daily are far healthier than sleeping in or taking very long naps on the weekend." They are also far better than caffeine as a pick-me-up. "Consumption of caffeine will be followed by feelings of lethargy and reduced R.E.M. (or dream) sleep that night," Dr. Maas writes. "A debt in your sleep bank account is not reduced by artificial stimulants."
He suggests naps be scheduled for midday because late-afternoon naps can cause a shift in our biological clock, making it more difficult to fall asleep at night and get up the next morning. To keep naps short -- 15 to 30 minutes, set an alarm clock or timer. Westclox makes a gadget called Napmate, a power-nap alarm clock with a one-button preset so we can program our nap to last for a specific number of minutes (Of course there's always the timer on our smart phone). If we can lie down on a couch or bed, all the better. If not, use a reclining chair. We need not follow Churchill's advice to get undressed, but make ourselves as comfortable as possible. Lap robes are very popular and inexpensive; if a blanket assists in our dozing off, use one.

Try to take naps about the same time each day. Dr. Maas recommends a nap eight hours after we wake up (in the middle of our day, about eight hours before we go to bed at night). Even on days when we don't feel particularly sleepy, he suggests taking a rest rather than a coffee break at our usual nap time.

There are special cases. People who have trouble falling asleep at night might be wise to avoid daytime naps. Parents of newborns should nap when the baby does, rather than using all the baby's sleep time to do chores.

Take naps.....feel better....BE better.  Keep looking up.  : )  AJ

(newyorktimes.com)

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

Welcome September 5th.  It's great to see you.....literally....life is too amazing and adventurous to not greet each day with gratitude. 

Allen James' thought for today reads, "Smile at your memories" (James, 2012).

I love it!  Regardless of what those memories hold for us, smiling at what has been allows us to FEEL how every memory is special; a learning experience having edged us closer and closer to personal success.  Psychology Today states, "Memory makes us. If we couldn't recall the who, what, where, and when of our everyday lives, we would never be able to manage. We mull over ideas in the present with our short-term (or working) memory, while we store past events and learned meanings in our long-term (episodic or semantic) memory. What's more, memory is malleable–and it tends to decay with age. So stay sharp by reading our articles on the science of recollection" (psychologytoday.com).


Thinking back to my fondest memories, there are plenty? I’m sure it’s not all about having the presents we may have opened on Christmas or a birthday, but rather the memory of being surrounded by people who cared, and all the fun we had playing with them… it’s the experience which counts.
Memories are a powerful thing. We all want to create happy memories for ourselves, which will keep us smiling for decades. How do we do it? By spending our time, effort and money on creating them through great experiences.

how to create memories

1. Throw a party. If we have a friend’s birthday coming up, or even if we don’t, why not throw a party? It can be big with friends and balloons, or just a small one with a few select friends. Either way, bring a camera, dress up, (drink?) and smile. With people gathered around, fun things are bound to happen. Make it a night to be remembered for years to come!

2. Go for a day out. Wherever we live, there’s bound to be something interesting to do. We just have to look for it. Luckily, we have Google Maps Why not grab a best friend and go to the zoo/aquarium, skydiving/bungee jumping, to the the local museum, out for a fancy dinner, to the beach… the list goes on. Managing to do something we’ve never experienced before helps us achieve something amazing.

3. Give an experience. Instead of the usual gift of bath soaps, CD’s, or gift vouchers, try giving somebody an experience. Take them out or pay for something they can do. If it’s a little more expensive, ask around for friends to chip in. They’ll be much more grateful for our present than if we gave them a regular one.

4. Take a holiday. We can go on ‘holiday’ anywhere, even just a few miles from home. If traveling to a different country, try to go to a place with more to offer than just the sun. Sunbathing is highly overrated and a complete waste if ask me. If I wanted to lounge about, I could do it on my roof. Instead, go to places where activities can only be accomplished there; like tasting the local cuisine, chatting to the local people or hiking/climbing towards breathtaking views.

5. Travel. Finally, I believe some of the best experiences in life come from traveling. I don’t just mean taking a holiday for a few weeks, I mean traveling. There aren’t many experiences  more fulfilling than seeing the world.  I was fortunate enough to travel abroad for a whole month several years ago.  Italy was amazing, very different from my "comfort zone". Doing something drastic like this can completely change our whole outlook on life. Yes, I had to spend money, but somehow I it was much more satisfying than buying ‘xyz’.

Make memories....then, smile at them.  Keep looking up.  : ) AJ

(minimalist.com)

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

 

Allen James' reading for September 4th from The Journey: A Calendar Book;

"Stop and smell freshly mowed grass" (James, 2012).

There's nothing quite like, even for someone such as I who has hay fever, the smell of freshly mowed grass.  Sometimes the smell is a bit pungent, other times the scent is so soft we feel as if we could lounge forever in its spender.  Really....it's true.

Of course the analogy for today's reading is much like the idiom, "Stop and smell the roses", but a tinge more on the side of caution actually.  The two aromas are very different from one another, and while I'm encouraging taking time to enjoy the aspects of life which we pass up much of the time, I'm at the same time cautioning us, on our journey to personal success, to realize even the aspects of life we tend to pass up on our day to day walks, must be enjoyed with prudence.

While the idea of stopping and smelling freshly mowed grass may be a cliche, new research suggests it is sound advice for finding satisfaction in life. A forthcoming study in the Journal of Personality and Individual Differences suggests that appreciating the meaningful things and people in our lives may play an even larger role in our overall happiness than previously thought.

In the study, Rutgers University psychology professor Nancy Fagley had nearly 250 undergraduates take a survey measuring their levels of appreciation, which Fagley defines as “acknowledging the value and meaning of something—an event, a behavior, an object—and feeling positive emotional connection to it.”  This is distinct from gratitude, Fagley says, which is a positive emotion directed toward a benefactor in response to receiving a gift of some sort, and is just one of several aspects of appreciation, according to Fagley. Indeed, in his book Thanks!, Robert Emmons, perhaps the leading scientific expert on gratitude, writes gratitude isn’t just about acknowledging the goodness in one’s life but also “recognizing that the source(s) of this goodness lie at least partially outside the self.”
Fagley’s survey of appreciation zeroed in on eight aspects of it, including awe—or feeling a sense of connection to nature or life itself—and living in the present moment.

The students in Fagley’s study also took surveys to evaluate their levels of gratitude and overall life satisfaction, and completed a standard questionnaire measuring what researchers call the Big 5 personality traits—openness, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism.
Fagley wanted to see whether appreciation carries distinct benefits on its own, regardless of one’s personality or level of gratitude. Though Fagley found appreciation and gratitude both seem to be strongly connected to happiness, her results suggest appreciation is twice as significant as gratitude in determining overall satisfaction with life.

Humans' personality traits were also important to predicting life satisfaction—in fact, they seemed to be more important than their age, gender or ethnicity. Some aspects of personality—like being less neurotic and more outgoing—were linked to greater life satisfaction, Fagley says. However, being high in appreciation was significantly related to high life satisfaction regardless of one’s personality.

 Past research has considered appreciation to be a byproduct of gratitude and one’s personality. This study shows appreciation plays a significant role in one’s quality of life, independent of one’s personality or gratitude level—a role even more significant than previously thought.Fagley is still researching how best to practice appreciation on a day-to-day-basis, she says. But for starters, she suggests people focus on and value what they have, spend time outdoors, and reflect on their blessings and relationships with others.

“The challenge in fostering appreciation,” she says, “is that we want to periodically reflect on the positive aspects of our lives, value our friends and family, relish and savor the good times—without the practice of reflection becoming a rote habit or something that is taken for granted”.

Take time to smell freshly mowed grass....appreciate what we have and savor each moment, and as always...keep looking up.  : )   AJ

 (greatergood.com/berkley.edu)

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

September 3rd's thought from The Journey: A Calendar Book reads;

"Lie on the floor once in a while for a change of perspective" (James, 2012).

The way we look at the world around us is DIRECTLY effected by our points of view.  Although our brains take in every iota of information we see, hear, taste, smell, touch (even peripherally), what we are conscious of determines our world view.

Allowing ourselves to see things from another individual's viewpoint can be enlightening and very, very revealing.  When we attempt to understand other people, it helps to try to put ourselves in their shoes. Before saying something, think about how what we're saying would feel like to us of said by someone else. Treating others the way we want them to treat us is much easier accomplished when looking at the world through a different lens. Don’t judge people until thinking about their point of view.

We must be able to see others points of view to understand our own better. Sometimes we need a fresh perspective to see our own flaws. However, sometimes, seeing the view of someone else can also empower our own.  Empathy is vital to daily social interaction because understanding others will help us know how to help them.

Lie on the floor once in a while for a change of perspective.  Opening the mind is like opening the eyes to something for the first time.  Keep looking up. : )  AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

Calendar Books by Allen James' reading from The Journey: A Calendar Book for September 2nd,

"Fall in love at least once in your life" (James, 2012).

Some may find today's thought rather funny, and I in no means intend it as satirical.  The Holy Bible states in 1st Corinthians 13:13, "And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love.  But the greatest of these is love (KJV, The Holy Bible).

Falling is actually a misnomer.  Love comes to us, it's not something we "fall" into.  "Falling" in love even once is a blessing and spin of the roulette wheel in most people's lives; I'm speaking of this love spoken of in 1st Corinthians, unfettered, unconditional, "agape" love. Some are fortunate enough to have love cross their paths several times, and others go through their entire lives never even meeting love at any crossroad of life. 

Too often we mistake love for infatuation, a crush, puppy love.  As children, we often form a fantasy of what real love looks like. Though we may paint a pretty picture in our minds, this fantasy isn't necessarily built on the admirable qualities we truly desire in a partner. Instead, it may be based on gaps we hope to one day fill, mistakes we aim to correct, and familiarities we've grown accustomed to. We may seek a partner whose outpour of compliments submerges the low self-esteem we held as children or someone whose allusive tendencies are a sadly familiar reenactment of an important figure from our childhood.

It's no great surprise fantasy can lead us to choose romantic partners for the wrong reasons. And even if we choose them for all the appropriate reasons, our devotion to our fantasies can eventually lead us to destroy any real sense of connection. So with all these early defenses quietly operating within us, how do we separate honest love from an illusion of connection? How do we protect something real and exciting from the deadening effects of what, psychologist Dr. Robert Firestone, termed "The Fantasy Bond?"

A fantasy bond is created when two people replace real acts of genuine love, admiration, passion, and respect with the role and ritual of "being" in a relationship. Though this process is often unconscious, people can begin to recognize patterns and behaviors characterized by a Fantasy Bond which are destructive to their closest relationships. By comparing interactions in an ideal relationship with interactions in a relationship under the influence of a Fantasy Bond, a person can begin to act against their own limiting tendencies and dramatically improve their relationship.

And oh year, love releases endorphins in our brain which give us the most wonderful, natural high imagined....food for thought.

Fall in love at least once in your life.  You'll appreciate it so much more when your love is lost.

Keep looking up.  AJ  : )