Daily Reading - Calendar Books by Allen James - "A Teacher's Daily Guide to Success"

Calendar Books by Allen James' reading for October 31st, from "A Teacher's Daily Guide to Success",

"Celebrate".

Every time we turn around it seems there is a holiday to celebrate. Maybe it just appears this way to me since I'm in education, where we live by quarters/semesters and time flies when you live by such a tight schedule.

However; according to life coach guest blogger, Tom Volkar, "celebration may just be the most underutilized tool in our toolbox. Some view celebration as soft or slacking off – like we aren’t really doing anything. Nothing could be further from the truth. Celebration is a pivotal stage in the productivity process because it allows us to commemorate all the good that we do.

"Unlike indigenous cultures, in the western world, we have forgotten many of our traditions, ceremonies and celebrations especially around the work that we do. In the name of progress, our culture has lessened rejoicing over everyday occurrences like sunrises and important seasonal events like harvest time. We need to remember that when the crops are safely in, it’s time to dance and make merry.

"Gratitude is the causative energy of appreciation that blesses us with ease and greater flow. Celebration is self-acknowledgment and recognition for successfully completing every small step. Completion is the triumphant achievement of our objective and our signal to proceed forward to the freshness of discovery. Here are five good reasons to celebrate more often.

Celebration helps us stay in the present where our power is. By celebrating the completion of every small step, we leverage the powerful energies of gratitude and momentum. Thomas Edison taught us that even each mistake along the way is cause for celebration. Life is all about the journey, and that means that every step, as well as reaching our destination, is part of our journey. Celebrating at every juncture is recognition of a life well lived and well worked.

"Celebration builds self-respect. Others treat us according to how we treat ourselves. It’s important to hold yourself in high regard. Perhaps, like me, your early caregivers did not celebrate your presence and special glow. Celebration overwrites this limited conditioning and tips the balance of your internal programming so that it’s more natural to think well of yourself.

"Celebration feeds our basic human need for self-love and self-acceptance. Celebration is emotional nourishment. Yet sometimes we simply don’t feel like celebrating because we’ve fallen into the habit of harshly judging ourselves. When this happens, there is a negative feeling remaining in our bodies from a challenging event in our past.

"Celebration is positive magnification. What we focus on expands. When we downplay or skip celebration, we are telling ourselves that we haven’t done enough to be proud of ourselves – so our self-doubt is what expands.

"Sometimes we lament our lack of progress and go on fruitless searches for the answer. But often what’s missing is as simple as a little jig of recognition or bursting out in spontaneous song.
Your very being is enough reason to celebrate. Select a project or any progress that makes you feel good and join Kool and the Gang in Celebration of your achievement (coreu.com)!

Keep looking up. AJ

Daily Reading - October 28th, and 29th - Calendar Books by Allen James - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

Calendar Books by Allen James' reading for October 28th (yesterday) was, "Keep a warm heart", and today's, October 29th is a quote by Anna Pavlova, a well known Russian ballerina of the late 19th and the early 20th centuries;

"To follow without halt one aim, that is the secret of success".

First if I may address yesterday's thought for a brief moment. As most men would admit, possessing and maintaining the respect and high esteem of their mother is one, if not THE greatest task in life, literally. Our mothers' opinions of our lives and of how we live our lives, to many mothers, is a direct reflection on how they reared us as children.

I am one of those men. As the youngest of 7 children, I shared a special bond with my mother. I would say most of my decisions in life prior to her death, and some following her death, were considered heavily as to what my mother would think or if she would approve.

I was considered a young man with a "warm heart", meaning I was thoughtful, considerate of others, and caring. However; when I turned 30 my life was shattered by loss; a few years earlier the only grandparent I ever knew died, only days before my 30th birthday my sister died a tragic demise, and only days after, I returned home to an empty house; my wife had followed through with moving out. Much to experience at one time. To be stressed out would be putting it lightly.

About a year later I was sitting and talking with me mother about one thing or another; the topic is not relevant. What is relevant is following my discussion my mother responded with, "You've become hard-hearted". BAMMMM.... Talk about being side swiped. To hear the one individual whose opinions meant so much to me be so honest with me about how she now saw me, woke me up.

Hard-hearted was NOT a description I would have thought would apply to me, nor did I want it to be. Hard-hearted is evidenced in our lives through the following:

You don’t really celebrate and you don’t really cry.
Well, you might on the outside, but in reality
you don’t feel it.

You stop genuinely caring. Enough said.

So much of what’s supposed to be meaningful
feels mechanical. From your personal friendships to
your family to work, the feeling’s gone.

Passion is hard to come by. For anything.

You no longer believe the best about people. Even
when you meet someone, you’re thinking about what’s
going to go wrong, not what’s going to go right.

Recall my reading explaining my mantra, "Expectation equals disappointment"? We become hard-hearted when we over-protect a broken heart. People promise and don’t deliver. Our hopes were bigger than what happened. We trusted someone and our trust was misplaced. Really, just life. It happens to everyone. But how we respond is so critical. It’s easy to shield ourselves from people. It’s easy to stop trusting, stop loving, stop believing. But this would be a mistake. It kills our heart.

We stop looking for what’s good in people and situations. Because life has its disappointments, and people are still people, it’s easy to focus on personal and organization shortcomings. If we keep this up, it can be all we focus on. Keep looking for flickers of light.

Many people accept a harder heart as a new normal. A hardened heart isn’t inevitable, but it does take intentional effort to guard against one. If you feel your heart becoming hard, you need to take action and fight against it.

(By the way....mine is back to normal...just a little enlarged on the left side : )

Keep looking up. AJ

Daily Reading - Calendar Books by Allen James - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

Calendar Books by Allen James' reading for October 28th, from "The Journey: A Calendar Book" is,

"Be tidy".

Whether we realize it or not, the way we present ourselves and our "space", speaks volumes to others about who we are. Whether speaking in public representing someone else, or just plainly presenting ourselves as an individual; it is still "me" in the front line. It is "we" the other person, group or audience sees, and before "we" even open our mouths, assumptions, both consciously and subconsciously, have been made. First impressions are very important - and are as much an indicator of attitude as they are attire.

Visual impact is at least as important as verbal impact, people will very quickly make assumptions based on your facial expressions, the clothes you wear, how well groomed you are and your body language. Although there is little we can do to alter our face, we can do much about the expression which accompanies it.

The mood in which our day began, no matter what "crisis" has occurred along the way, it is our duty - to yourself as well as to the the person to whom you are interacting to show and expect mutual respect - to convey a calm, friendly and professional exterior, despite how you may feel inside. Smile and appear optimistic.

The reflection staring back at us from a mirror is not necessarily a true likeness of the face known to our family, friends and colleagues, because they will see you off-guard, in repose, concentrating on a task or listening to them. How many people can honestly admit to looking in a mirror without altering their expression? It is quite natural to ‘play to a mirror’ possibly by raising an eyebrow, pulling a face or smiling at the reflection. This is why many often feel self-conscious when seeing a ‘bad’ photograph of ourselves.

Nobody expects us to be packaged into something we are not, but our appearance is a reflection of our own self-esteem and it should be our aim to present "us" to our best possible advantage. Although we might be casually dressed when at work on "Casual Friday", a more formal approach may well be preferable if we have a meeting with the boss.

Good grooming and a tidy appearance is preferable, whether casually or more formally dressed. Understanding body language is one of the most important aspects of personal presentation. The image conveyed by the physical self should support and enhance what is being communicated verbally. If the visual image differs widely from the spoken message, it is often the non-verbal account believed.

The way we sit, stand, our gestures and mannerisms and our facial expressions will say far more about us and how we are feeling at any given time than the words we are using. When individuals are nervous or uneasy, their behavioral 'bad habits' become more pronounced.

Attentiveness to body language, our behavior under pressure, signals we are unconsciously giving, how nerves and stress affect us physically, can help us to understand how we 'come across' to others. It can also explain how the wrong impression is sometimes given and how confusion can occur.

Working on body language is a way of improving personal presentation. For example, when concentrating on something rather hard, your expression may look troubled, when in reality you are not anxious at all, merely absorbed. This does not mean you should go around with a fixed smile on your face, but just be aware that your physical self might send one set of signals when your mind is involved elsewhere.

The gestures of individuals are part of their personalities, a part of how they express themselves. Hand and arm movements can add emphasis, aid explanation and convey enthusiasm. They only become a negative signal when repeated so often they become irritating to the observer. Listeners can become so side-tracked by the sight of someone constantly playing with his/her hair, tapping on the table with a pen, etc., they no longer listen to the spoken word. Thus the negative signal has broken down the chain of communication.

Positive body language includes maintaining eye contact with the person to whom you are speaking; smiling (if appropriate) but especially as a greeting and when parting; sitting squarely on a chair, leaning slightly forward (this indicates you are paying attention); nodding in agreement; a firm handshake; presenting a calm exterior; looking interested.

Negative Body Language:

Negative body language includes not looking at a person when speaking; tapping a foot, fingers etc; rocking backwards and forwards; scratching; continually clearing your throat; fiddling with hair, ear lobes, jewellery, jacket, glasses, etc; picking at fingers or finger nails; yawning; repeatedly looking at your cell phone or a clock in the room; standing too close to others, and general inattention to a person speaking. All these I learned in Interpersonal Communication 101 my first semester in college.

Be tidy, in mind, body, and spirit.

Keep looking up. : ) AJ

Daily Reading (October 25th and 26th) - Calendar Books by Allen James - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

Reading for October 26th, from Allen James', "The Journey: A Calendar Book",

"Learn from your mistakes".

And aren't there plenty from which to learn? Remember our "purpose", which I put my two cents worth in on a few days back? Learning from those decisions which don't pro out as expected...ergo...mistakes...."grow" us. Many times those mistakes are the "manure" which fertilize us and become our own doses of 'Miracle Grow' if you will.

Don't just pass over mistakes....nor dwell on them; learn from them.

Mrs. Morrow, my mentor in disguise as my first grade teacher, as well as your own first grade teachers, taught us the miracle of the pencil's eraser....mistakes are fixable.

Keep looking up...and have a great autumn day....."Go Cardinals"....

Calendar Books by Allen James' reading for yesterday, October 25th from "The journey: A Calendar Book",

"Take time for yourself when possible".

...just in case you're wondering why this posting is a day late in coming....

"Advice worth considering" (Sorg, 2013).

I was chatting with a good friend last night and shared with her I took my own advice yesterday (had a meeting but counted as a day for myself), she said "Advice worth considering". I retorted with, "Take the day off would be good advice coming from a bumb". She then retorted with, "But that's not what the reading says".

Point well taken. The wisdom comes from how we say what we say and the interpretation thereof.

Keep looking up. AJ

Daily reading - Calendar Books by Allen James - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

Calendar Books by Allen James reading for October 24th, from "The Journey: A Calendar Book",

"Be polite on the phone".

I get a real thrill when I'm talking on the phone to a customer service representative who clearly is having a bad day. I often will ask straight out, "Are you having a bad day?". This usually really changes the way they respond to me...in a much more positive way.

Although we live in a hectic world today, we have no excuse for being rude to others on the phone. Anymore, talking on the phone is reserved for business matters; texting and emails have replaced casual telephone conversations, and when we allow our “abbreviate chat-speak” to spill over into your business phone conversations, you can lose credibility. Taking the time to be polite and show a little common courtesy, using professional phone etiquette, can catapult your reputation and journey to personal success.

Good manners aren’t just for Sunday dinners. Always being polite will help you communicate to others you take your business associates, as well as the general public, seriously. Which is always good for business. Phone Etiquette is about more than just saying Please and Thank You.

Manners and courtesy on the phone, phone etiquette, can be expressed by showing genuine interest in the person with whom you’re speaking, and can be as simple as making an effort to remember and use their name, or as involved as repeating their request back to them, so both parties are perfectly clear about what is being communicated. People will form impressions about the person they’re on the phone with, by virtue of how well they feel they are understood. Better understanding means better impressions.

Being courteous on the phone means speaking clearly as well. Accents are delightful, and can add a pleasant lilt to any phone conversation, and they sound best when all the words spoken are enunciated and easy to understand. Some people, in casual conversations, can have a tendency to mash words together, or completely drop their G’s, T’s or R’s. “Ya mom’s gotta know wha’ I’m sayin’.” (Your mom has got to know what I’m saying.) While this might be perfectly acceptable off the clock, it must be avoided during working hours. Particularly when you’re on the phone.

If you slow your speech tempo down a little, enunciate each word and avoid slang, you can actually make your phone conversations go more quickly, because you avoid having to repeat yourself.
We lose visual cues like body language and facial expressions when using the phone, but people can still hear them.

A good, courteous, polite, professional phone conversation isn’t only in the words. Your tone and the pace of your speech will also communicate volumes. Whether you are frowning or smiling, the person on the other side of the conversation is going to know. Sometimes consciously, but very often, totally subconsciously. So, it is very important during your business phone conversations, you’re sitting up straight and smiling.

Whether you’re a one-man-office or a busy, thriving mid-size conglomerate, answering your phones with professional phone etiquette and a polished, polite response, is our primary function. Making sure your potential and current clients are all greeted like the important people they are, is one of the key “secrets” to our ongoing success.

Be polite on the phone...not only will the one on the other end of the line appreciate it and their day be lifted...yours will as well.

Keep looking up. AJ

Daily Reading - Calendar Books by Allen James - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

Calendar Books by Allen James reading for October 23rd, from "The Journey: A Calendar Book",

"Watch as little television as possible".

The "Baby Boomer" generation, as apposed to "Generation X" or "Millennial", was the first generation to be exposed to the wonder of television. They watched the Nixon-Kennedy debate, dead American soldiers being brought back home from Vietnam and Neil Armstrong’s walk on the moon. Television was is black and white and one could only receive two or three channels from which to choose. Life went on beyond the TV set.

As a child I recall "getting" to watch an hour of television when I got home from school, an hour of television "with the family" in the evenings, and only after homework was completed, two hours on Saturday morning, and an hour before Sunday School on Sundays.

Today; after a long day at work, school or taking care of the kids, your first instinct may be to relax by turning on the TV and watching your favorite show. While this is okay to do every once in awhile, time staring at the TV can really add up. You sit down to watch one episode, and suddenly, three hours have gone by. According to a report by the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, in 2011, watching TV was the leisure activity which occupied the most time in Americans' lives: almost three hours per day.

LifeHack detailed an experience of a couple who stopped watching television for 60 days. The results? The duo discovered they got along better, enjoyed meal times more, stayed active and were able to focus on their future. This may be proof time in front of the TV can be better spent by spending time with your loved ones or even working toward achievement in life. Here are a few immediate benefits you could see by spending a little less time on the couch:

More time
This could mean so many different things. This time could be spent catching up on work or school, spending quality time with your loved ones or working toward your goals, whatever they may be. This time is your own and by cutting out TV, you may find you had much more time on your hands than you originally thought.

Better conversations
By not having television to fall back on, you may find silence can be filled with special conversations. Get to know your spouse more or find out more details about your child's day at school. According to Balance In Me, one couple tried out no TV and found they began to slowly strengthen their marriage. Conversations were filled with common aspirations, fears and hopes as well as childhood stories and dreams about the future.

A healthier weight
According to researchers at the University of Vermont, less TV time translated into more calories burned. It was discovered adults who cut their television time in half using an electronic lock-out system did not see a change in calorie intake, but did expend more energy over a three-week period. In fact, those who decreased time on the couch found they burned 119 more calories per day. The control group, however, burned 95 fewer calories during the three-week period.

What would you do with all your extra time away from the TV? Share your thoughts with us in the comments section.

Watch less time watching television. Connect with others personally and expand your "purpose".

Keep looking up. AJ

Daily Reading - Calendar Books by Allen James - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

Calendar Books by Allen James reading for October 21st, from "The Journey: A Calendar Book",

"Visit the grave of a friend or loved one when you can (It'll make you feel better)".

Growing up I was one of those individuals who thought, when I grew up I'd regularly visit the grave of my parents, friends, grandparents, siblings; however when I got there (meaning grown up), my understanding of "the grave" had changed to the extent I rarely find myself sitting or standing by friends and loved ones graves talking to the ground thinking they can hear me.

But this doesn't mean I NEVER do it. When I return to my hometown to visit, which isn't very often thanks for my busy work life, I always stop by Rosedale Cemetery where Mom, Dad, Mamaw, Grandpa, Cindy, PC, and other close family members were laid to rest, and say a "Hello", or "Just stopping by". I'll often straighten the worn and torn American flags in front of Dad's gravestone, or pull weeds from around others, always thinking how silly it is to think aloud TO them, but at the same time knowing I'm thinking aloud TO ME as well; cementing further the compassion these individuals instilled in me through their living years on this planet, and cultivating further the energy they continue to emit through me.

I recently visited the grave of an old friend. Every time I go, I'm sure it will be the last time. She was a teacher, a mother, a daughter. We had been friends all our life when her life was taken much too early.

We had not spoken in several years. I knew I would be welcomed if I called, but I didn't, til one day, years later, something she once said to me popped into my head. I remembered it, word for word, and marveled at the fact. I thought, well, maybe its time I look up her number and reconnect. Maybe she is thinking of me just as I am her. I Googled her name and the name, and ending up getting her obituary. She'd died suddenly at the age of 36, three months earlier.

That was early 2010, and I've been out to visit her grave about twice a year since then, but always on her September birthday. I missed her last few birthdays of life, and I always feel I want to make up for it somehow. She'd once said her family often forgot her birthday, but she knew I would always remember. I do now.

I want you to know this all seems very silly to me. I know my friend is not there in a piece of ground. I know life is for the living. Yet I drive the hundred miles to sit on a piece of grass in the hills, and talk to her. Why would any rational human do this?

Who cares if it seems like a silly thing to do. If it works for you, I say go for it. Any opportunity to dispel loneliness for someone or a chance to reconnect with those you care so much for, is an opportunity worth taking.

Remember, not everyone moment is going to be a happy one.

Keep looking up. AJ

Daily Reading - Calendar Books by Allen James - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

Calendar Books by Allen James reading for October 17th, from "The Journey: A Calendar Book",

"Be neighborly".

"Won't you be my neighbor." Well known children's television personality Mr. Rogers' singing of these words are ingrained in most of America's youth and middle aged adults as he would begin each show. But just what does it mean to be a good neighbor? What does it mean to really be neighborly?

Although the word ‘neighbor’ doesn’t mean the same thing it did seventy years ago (the last time the US went through a depression with the sort of long standing unemployment we’re facing now) now, even if our neighbors live next door or just down the street, we may not know their names or even what they look like, but we may be intimately familiar with the goings on in a household halfway around the world, through online acquaintanceship which grow to friendship.

When applying these tips to your life, use your own definition of neighbor. If you don’t like or want to help the obnoxious jerk two doors down, don’t feel obligated. However, if you want to, you might find underneath the obnoxious exterior is a big ol’ softy who is masking shyness – or he might be a jerk through and through. If you want to help a friend you’ve known for a decade on line, but lives clear across the country, fine too. Or if you want to help a total stranger who happens to live nearby or ‘lives’ in the same net neighborhood, fine as well.

For Physical Neighbors and the Neighborhood at Large:

If you know a neighbor is hurting financially, ‘just show up’ claiming to have done some decluttering, with clothes for a member of the family and/or canned goods – and make it clear they’re welcome to use them or pass them on.
Offer to help organize a garage or yard sale to raise a little money.
Hire the neighbor to do a little work around the house- cleaning or yardwork or something else- either one time or as an ongoing source of income.
(If justified) offer to write a letter of recommendation for employers or serve as a personal reference.
With financial difficulty often comes depression and difficulty coping- offer to help with housework or yardwork if needed.
Take your friend out to lunch or dinner and a movie and pick up the tab.
Just hang out over coffee and talk. We don’t do this enough any more.

For Neighbors in your Net Neighborhood

Strike up a conversation through text or Facebook or whatever source you use. If it’s private, make sure you use direct messaging of some variety.
Organize a Paypal (or other online pay source) fundraiser for your neighbor. Make sure you verify the story first.
‘Listen’ well. Offer sympathy and offer advice only if asked.
Help your ‘neighbor’ find online and even local resources. Use the power of the online community (hive-mind) to help.

Being neighborly involves thinking of the other person’s preference before thinking of your own need to help. Sometimes people want companionship or friendship far more than they want or need material help. Pay attention and gauge the situation carefully, and then act.

Be neighborly, and always keep looking up. AJ

(amitheonlyonedancing.com)

Daily Reading - Calendar Books by Allen James - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

Calendar Books by Allen James reading for October 16th, from "The Journey: A Calendar Book",

"Spend some of that time you're thinking, talking to your Maker".

Refraining from sounding "religious", but hoping to reflect on my "spiritual" side, today's reading expresses the difference between fulfilling personal success and empty happiness.

The Good Book stresses the importance of what we might call “inner prayer.” It infers strongly God does not force Himself into man’s consciousness, any more than air forces itself into man’s lungs. The Infinite waits patiently for the recognition and acceptance of the finite.

In Matthew 6:6 of the same Book we're encouraged with, “When you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you” (KJV).

Mankind may be amazingly creative, artistic, productive, inventive, vigorous, powerful and dynamic; all this is the outpicturing or “exhalation” of his true being. But there must also be a regular period of inhalation, or else he will “come to know want.”

Most people are good “achievers” but poor “receivers.” We set our minds on the achievement of things and positions in the world. But because we do not look within for support, we do not receive the wherewithal to keep on achieving. Living beyond our spiritual means, we are overdrawn and overextended. The answer is to get involved in the discipline of solitude and meditation. And to have much success with “inner prayer,” we must cultivate “the art of letting go,” and this takes much practice.

Every one of us must determine for ourselves whether we are going to go through life worrying and fretting over the challenges which come through change, or whether we are going to let the activity of the whole Spirit express in and through us. Letting go and letting God is a fine art, achieved only through the discipline of practice. Fear tends to hold on, but faith lets go. Practice faith. Human love holds on, but Divine Love lets go. Practice Divine Love. “Let God be God in you.”

Spend time thinking with Him.

Keep looking up. AJ

(rothbotham)

Daily Reading - Calendar Books by Allen James - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

Calendar Books by Allen James reading for October 15th, from "The Journey: A Calendar Book",

"Keep in contact with your siblings".

Today's reading can be a difficult task, but all in all it is an important tool in striving for personal success and cultivates a positive lifestyle. Growing up and leaving home is one of those difficult realities of life. When siblings go away to college, begin his/her career or get married, quite often there is distance between them and adjustments have to be made.

Families come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and ethnicity. They are as well the starting point from where we gain social skills. As well, the degree to which we maintain those relationships throughout our adult lives is a determining factor in our satisfaction with personal success.

Coming from a large family (5 boys and 2 girls, all within 10 years of each other), undoubtedly there are varying types of relationships with each; I am very close with my oldest brother, number 1, and either visit three or four times a year or talk to on the phone every couple of weeks; my next to the oldest brother (number 2) and I have worked to build a closer relationship over the past 10 years as entered the Navy at the age of 18 when I was only 9, my oldest sister (sibling number 3) and I have a very close relationship, she's my best friend and supporter. I was very close as well with number four when I was younger (she passed away when she was 34 and I was 29). Number 5 and number 6, although the closest in age, have the most challenging relationships, due more than likely to the competitive nature of siblings so close in age and my being the "baby" of the family.

Yet they are each special to me in their own ways. Through the years I have attempted to keep close even though miles separate us. Luckily there are many ways you can stay in close touch with your siblings to maintain the close relationship you grew up having together.

Technology is amazing for supporting and strengthening sibling relationships. All that is needed is a bit of effort.

-Telephone/Cell phone

Today, you can reach your sibling any time, any day. With the convenience of the cell phone, “reaching out to touch someone” has never been easier. Most carry his/her cell phone on their person at all times and even if unable to answer a call, could receive a voice mail or a text. The communication opportunities are available and a simple way to stay in contact. Talking on the phone and hearing the voice of your sibling is a great comfort.

If there is more than one sibling, a three way call is a great way to share big news with the siblings at the same time. Catching up with one another at the same time helps keep the bond close and in these busy days, helps saves time as well.

Siblings have a great intuition for one another and hearing his/her voice can reveal in the tone if there is stress going on. This can give the sibling an opportunity to encourage conversation and offer support.

-Email

This form of contact is a wonderful way to stay in touch. While not as personal as a phone conversation, a great way to share everyday events, make plans for a get together and share photos. Email is also terrific as it can be opened and responded to at the convenience of the receiver.

If staying in touch with more than one sibling, emails can be sent and forwarded and this helps to keep everyone in the circle of good communication

-Skype

Skype is one of the most exciting ways to stay in touch with family. It is free to join and allows you to talk to your sibling and see their sweet face at the same time. You can group Skype if you choose to speak to more than one sibling at a time. . All you need is a webcam and most computers have one built in. If not, they are reasonably purchased.

Skype is a way to share the joy of a new niece or nephew with your sibling. This new technology allows the most exciting form of communication, especially when distance is an issue. To be able to see your sibling; share with them a live shot of the new puppy or simply show them your new hair style, brings you closer together.

-Plan time together

Make the effort to get together as often as possible. Sharing time together creates new memories and offers a great time to reminisce about the good old days. Take turns making the plans and hosting the gathering. You can make dinner arrangements or plan a vacation together. Be creative and if possible, spontaneous.

Cards/Letters

Everyone enjoys a personal, handwritten card from time to time. Remembering his/her birthday or anniversary shows you care and want to remind them of the importance of your relationship.

There are many possibilities to stay in close, personal touch with your adult sibling. Your relationships are based on a history full of good times and most likely, a few bad times as well. Continue to build the bond between you and your siblings. Make the effort and your lives will be forever connected.

Keep in contact with your siblings...and keep looking up. AJ


(helium.com)

Daily Reading - Calendar Books by Allen James - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

 

 

 

 

What a beautiful fall weekend we experienced in Southeast Missouri. Several hay wagons passed by full of hay and friends having a wonderful evening carousing country gravel roads. Memories in the making or just good times, it's always nic...e to see some things remain constant.

Our reading for October 14th, from "The Journey: A Calendar Book",

"Revere your significant other's parents".

We're all familiar with the age old jokes about the mother-in-law. A few years back Jane Fonda portrayed the mother-in-law of Jennifer Lopez's character in, appropriately titled, "Monster-in-law; a comedy which carried through with our preconceived ideas about in-laws.

But just as everything else in life, there are always two sides to an opinion. I CAN speak from some experience on the topic; believe it or not I was married many years ago. For me the stereotyped in-laws wasn't applicable. I was on of the family from day one. I found a great article on the topic while browsing a few days back. I think you'll enjoy it as well if you have any interest in it.

"If your in-laws love you, you've got it made, but if you're not their favorite person in the world, there could be arguments, resentments and even hatred. Often the relationship that you have with your in-laws directly affects the relationship that you have with your mate. Sometimes you have no idea why they don't like you. It could be that they think you're not good enough for their child or maybe you are of a different religion than them. No matter what the base of the animosity, there are ways that you can show your in-laws that you're willing to work on the relationship, if they are. Even if they're not willing, make an effort to get along with them out of respect for your mate. Analyze what you think the problem might be and work on ways to improve the way that they perceive you.

"It will be easier to deal with your in-laws in general if you have a sense of humor. Insults roll off easier if you laugh them off. Don't take everything so seriously that your temper flares. This will only create more tension between you. Sometimes, although difficult, it's best to pretend that the rude comments made were not upsetting to you in the least. If the in-laws notice that they can't get an angry reaction from you, they might just ease up on the snide comments. Try smiling or even laughing aloud when they've said something hurtful. If nothing else, this at least prevents them from receiving the response for which they'd hoped.

"Always offer your in-laws respect. Even though they might not be courteous to you, it's imperative that you not give them more reason to dislike you. Communicate in a friendly way with your in-laws, when possible. If you have been pushed to the point of speaking out, state your complaints properly. Do not yell, insult or use foul language with your in-laws. Speak frankly and explain why you think they are being unfair to you and what you think should be done to resolve the matter. Try also explaining to them that their actions are affecting not only you, but their son or daughter, not to mention any children involved. If they realize that they are hurting their own child, they might bite their tongue more often. If children are involved, never talk about your in-laws in a negative way when they are within earshot. Children often repeat what they hear and you'll earn no points with the in-laws if the kids repeat malicious comments you've made.

"If you have to go to your in-laws but would like the visit to be limited in time, devise a secret word or phrase that you can implement when you feel as though you've had enough. Decide on this code before going to the in-laws and agree that once you've spoken the secret phrase, it's time to go. Change the code from time to time, so they don't catch on.

"Never try to keep your spouse or children from associating with your in-laws; it will only cause more hostility. If you feel like you just cannot be around them, let the family go without you. It's best though, if you try to continue having a relationship with the in-laws, even if it's not a good one. One day things might change and they could even begin to accept you, once they see you are not going away.

"Kill them with kindness. Endear yourself to your in-laws by offering to help them out around their house on occasion. Give them attention when they are sick. Volunteer to keep the maintenance up on the house while they go on vacation. Don't get discouraged if they reject your offers time and time again. Eventually an occasion might present itself to where they have no where else to turn, and there you'll be. Realize that you can't change them, but you can change your attitude towards them. Think of their ways as different, not wrong. This might help you to forgive and forget and move towards a closer relationship with them. In time, you could actually begin to like each other
(essortment.com).


Revere your significant other's parent. Remember, disrespecting them is disrespecting your significant other.

Keep looking up. AJ

Daily Reading - The Journey: A Calendar Book

 

 

 

 

Calendar Books by Allen James reading for October 12th, from "The Journey: A Calendar Book",

"Fall in love at least once in your life".

Do we as human beings have a choice as to whether we fall in love one time or 400 times? When we over...view the varying types of love we encounter in our lives: Storge love ... or affection; Phileo love...or friendship; Eros love...or romance; Agape love...or unconditional love, we realize love is an aspect of our emotions we would find it difficult to dodge over our lifetime; love isn't a choice, but a gift; we choose whether to accept the gift or to refuse it.

Yet when talking about the ONE time we fall in love we find falling in love happens at least once in everyone’s life. We meet someone somewhere who causes our heart to miss a beat and makes the person more important than the rest of the universe. Ideologists explain it as a strong feeling of caring about someone which gives us an immense pleasure. Cynics identify it as a folly of mind while for lovers it is the power which makes the world go, not round but wild.

The conviction we are loved is perhaps the supreme happiness in our lives, which often turns into a tragedy afterwards. First love, no doubt, is the most beautiful thing we experience Just recall your first fall, you might not remember anything but pure madness keeping you above from all worldly considerations. Purity and perplexity are the real beauty of first affair. Initially an aficionado creates hundred of excuses for having a glimpse of his sweetheart, then become completely dumb or in some cases turns into a chatterbox in front of his beloved. Whether it’s a first sight love or a fore sight incidence, it arises such tender sentiments transform an ordinary person into a poet, writer, singer or an artist at some point of life.

However, first love is often destined to die before it flourishes and leaves its victims in the world of despair and gloom where they shed tears on sad filmy songs and ghazals while saving the memories of their beloved in diaries with faded flowers. But it doesn’t take them long to come out of this trauma and meet other nice people around them. So life goes on like this. If first love is irreplaceable, second is almost a reflex action — a desperate attempt to fill the gap created by the first one. Dejected souls badly need a companion to share their feelings and raise their shattered self-esteem with acceptance and emotional support.

So in matters of heart, once beaten often becomes twice bold.

Today’s media crazy generation has seen and heard so much rubbish about media generated romance its thoughts are fully contaminated by bigger than life images. They are unable to differentiate between lust and love. Those who can afford it, change their sweethearts with fashion, mood and season. They idealise their favourite movie and sport stars and imitate filmy style in their love lives. Most of them truly reflect the saying: ‘tu nahi aur sahi, aur nahi aur sahi’ (if not thou, someone else, if not him/her anyone else)

Accept the gift of true love at least once in your life. Experiencing full fledged love changes us for the better, each time we allow it to.

Keep looking up. : ) AJ

(erumsuchistan)

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Daily Reading - Calendar Books by Allen James - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

 

First, I apologize for not posting since July.  As I had stated in previous blog postings the network where I post from had put up a new firewall and it has taken until today for it to be changed.  Your patience is appreciated.  To catch up with the past 2 1/2 months (so sorry) of postings you can go to my Facebook product page which is hyperlinked at the beginning of today's posting. 

 

 

 

Calendar Books by Allen James posting for October 10th, from "The Journey: A Calendar Book" is a quote by renowned author and poet, Emily Dickinson...

"Success is counted sweetest by those who never succeed".

All of my life I've heard the... axiom, "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence". It seems human beings are never satisfied with anything; and when we do experience any degree of satisfaction, we immediately find something else with which to be dissatisfied. Why is this?

Emily Dickinson's words ring such truth in relation to our sense of dissatisfaction. Many times we are so envious of those who succeed because we feel we haven't; they possess something we desire. We work, strive, urge our lives toward personal success, feeling as if we can almost taste its sweet nectar only to be let down by each failure.

Don't just attempt to taste success' "sweetness"...make it a reality.

Keep looking up. : ) AJSee More