Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

January has come to an end, and with it a wintry weather filled month; wind, snow, ice, rain. The month held the gamut of expected seasonal weather, and there's still plenty of winter left.  For me it's refreshing and invigorating, and certainly just an aspect of mid-west living.

Our reading for January 31st comes from "The Journey: A Calendar Book",

"Care about your performance, but enjoy yourself" (James, 2012).

Throughout my years as a high school teacher, college instructor, and psychotherapist; I've seen plenty of individuals who create their own stress by being so obsessed by their performance they fail to enjoy their lives; overachievers if you will.  Being an overachiever is by no means a negative attribute to possess, unless one overachieves at overachieving;  worrying so much about succeeding they end up loosing the ability to "dance" throughout their life.

Overachievers do it all; play multiple sports; belong to multiple clubs, and hold officer positions in all of them; volunteer at the area food bank, nursing home, and hospital; and manage to do each of these activities well. Perhaps this scenario is somewhat exaggerated, but the truth is more and more individuals today are becoming caught up in the trap of overachieving. Overachievers have plenty to put on a resume to be sure, but they pay a price. They lose a sense of balance, and the consequences can be severe.

Overachievers are often spread quite thin. With only so many hours in the day and so much energy and effort to give, you have to divide your attention among a number of endeavors if you over schedule your time. When you feel pressure to excel in every area, you may lose the chance to discover a genuine personal interest or talent as you attempt to master all
your activities. Consequently, you are likely to lose sight of what you truly like and to get less enjoyment from the things you do.


The workload and time constraints of the typical overachiever leave relatively little time for sleep. In fact, sleep deprivation is common among over scheduled individuals, with many of them sleeping less than six hours per night. Excessively busy people tend to suffer from poor eating habits, as well. If you don’t have the time to sit down to three solid meals per day, you may have to grab food on the go, and such diets are often full of fats and sugar. We all need sufficient sleep and nourishment to stay physically and mentally strong, so if you have too much to do, you may end up sacrificing your health.

Overachievers often base their feelings of self-worth on their accomplishments. The more they do, and the more they do well, the better they feel about themselves. Reliance on external validation,though, can be extremely harmful. If you focus on the trappings of success, you can lose sight of your inner identity. Over-achieving frequently causes overachievers to forget self-worth is measured from within rather than by what others think or say.



If you’re an overachiever, beware. More is not necessarily better.

Care about your performance, but enjoy yourself, and always, keep looking up.  :)  AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading -

Each Calendar Book by Allen James has an inspirational/motivational quote listed every 10 days by renowned men, women, teachers, counselors; each individual "Daily Guide to Success" book has different quotes. Today's thought is one such quote taken from "A Teacher's Daily Guide to Success" which was said by William Arthur Ward, author of "Fountains of Faith", one of America's most quoted writers of inspirational maxims; "The mediocre teacher TELLS. The good teacher EXPLAINS. The superior teacher DEMONSTRATES. The great teacher INSPIRES".

In many ways we each are teachers. Whether we be a mother, a father, an educator, or a preacher; teaching is an aspect of all our lives. INSPIRE those with whom you work and interact to be more positive individuals by displaying positivity in your life.

It's not enough to "get by" in life; we must aim high to reach the prize.

All of Allen James' calendar books can be previewed and purchased on his author spotlight by going to:
www.lulu.com/spotlight.allenjames1961
www.jamesharryman2002.wix.com/allenjamesbooks
www.amazon.com

Keep looking up. : ) AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

January 29th's reading from "The Journey: A Calendar Book" is "Be respectful".

Just as positivity breeds positivity, respect demands respect. For the past 30 years I've been in education; a social institution which aims to not only educate children and youth, but adults as well, about the knowledge which is the basis of becoming a good citizen and well-rounded individual.

I graduated from Murray State University in 1983, following which I began my teaching career. Prior to this I worked as a desk clerk at several resort hotels and an associate in the retail industry. We're hard-pressed to find employment these days which doesn't involved dealing with the public. It was no different 30 years ago.

My day to day interaction with people, their personalities and their foibles teaches much about interpersonal relationships. Show others respect and most generally (there are those few who will prove unreachable) others will show respect in return.

Case in point, last year in my position of school counselor I had to talk with a student about their absences from clinical experience in a health occupations class; the importance of being on the job when expected and keeping employment. This wasn't the first time I had to address the issue with this student. Showing the student respect and meeting them on "their turf" so to say, determines the outcome of the communication in more ways than one. Not approaching situations as the "controller" and the "authority" with others is vital to their acceptance of the message being conveyed. The meeting was a good one, filled with empathy and compassion about what the student has going on in their own life which affects their responsibilities.

As the student left the building to head to clinical, she poked their head in my office and said, "You make me want to be a better person". I retorted with, "You make ME want to be a better person". Mutual respect demands the same.

Be respectful.

Keep looking up. : ) AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "A Counselor's Daily Guide to Success"

Our reading for January 28th is taken from "A Counselor's Daily Guide to Success" but is applicable to every adult who has ever held regular employment..."Recall the excitement of that first year". 

This certainly is pertinent to every stage of our lives; whether it be our first year after graduation from high school or college, our first year with a full-time job, our first year of the career you prepared so much for, or our first year after getting married.

The excitement of stepping into a new role in life can be invigorating; it can as well be overwhelming.  Like everything else in our lives, our reaction/response will depend on our state of mind at the time.  Living consciously (aware every decision we make, no matter how small it may seem, effects our next moment, every moment) helps our state of mind from being cluttered of obstacles.

Shakespeare wrote of the consequences of not living consciously in his play, Hamlet.  In his first soliloquy, Hamlet says of the world, "'tis an unweeded garden, / That grows to seed; things rank and gross in nature / Possess it merely" (1.2.134-136).  Clearly Shakespeare is making a comment to 15th century England, and the world he knew at the time, the degree to which we allow "weeds" to clutter our minds, thus hampering us from making appropriate choices to enhance our lives.

Gardens must be weeded regularly for our crops to not be strangled, thus dying.  Allowing our minds to be an "unweeded garden" results in the same; lives which are stagnant and unfilled.

Worrying less about things over which we have no control (and we only have control over ourselves) opens us up to living fuller, more satisfying lives, thus making those "firsts" in our lives wonderful experiences to recall later in life to edify us and those with whom we share our lives.

Recall the excitement of that first year...and of course...keep looking up. : ) AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "A Graduate's Daily Guide to Success"

"Focus on today - then tomorrow" (James, 2012)

How often do we spend our to-days worrying about what's going to happen tomorrow?  I maintain we spend most of our todays in tomorrow, not appreciating the "hear and now", but concerned about that which we have no control.

What does it mean to live fully in the present moment? It means our awareness is completely centered on the here and now. We cease worrying about the future or pining over the past.  When living in the present, we are living where life is happening. In reality, the past and future are only illusions, they don’t exist.  Recalling the saying, “tomorrow never comes” puts this in perspective. Tomorrow is only a concept, tomorrow is always waiting to come around the corner, but around the corner are shadows, never to have light shed upon, because time is always now.

If you’re not living in the present, you’re living in illusion. But how often are we worrying about things which are yet to be, or will never be?  How often do we set ourselves up for disappointment about things which have not come to pass? Again, I maintain the answer is too much. Not only will living in the present have a dramatic effect on our emotional well-being, but it can also impact our physical health. It’s long been known the amount of mental stress we carry can have a detrimental impact on our health. If we’re living in the present, we’re living in acceptance. We’re accepting life as it is now, not as how we wish it would have been. When we’re living in acceptance, we realize everything is complete as it is. We can forgive ourselves for the mistakes we've made, and we can have peace in our heart knowing everything which should happen will happen.

As humans, we love to create stories. We love to listen to other people stories and compare them with our own. This is beautiful. In a way we could say the entire universe is based on one collection of stories, a cosmic story. The problem is when we feel the need to create a story about everything, we are living entirely in the world of symbols. We confuse the world as it is, with the way we think about it, talk about it and describe it. Reality though, is not a concept. When we realize this we are able to return to a state of peace and stillness.

Focus on today - then tomorrow....and always, keep looking up.  :)  AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

Today's reading from "The Journey: A Calendar Book" hits close to home..."Don't drink and drive". 

Ok...Ok...despite what my brother's think...their little brother isn't "perfect".  Last year I learned first hand about the horrors the consequences of not living by today's thought can bring.  Putting aside the obvious harm which could be caused to others for a moment (we're all well aware of the statistics I'm sure), the pain and suffering you cause to "self" emotionally, financially and mentally can be enormous.

More than a year later I'm still dealing with the effects drinking and driving can cause when caught doing so.  It's not healthy.  It's not wise.  It's not smart.  IT'S JUST NOT WORTH IT!!

Be the good decision maker you know you are.  If you're going to go out and choose to have alcohol, ride with someone who's not drinking or call transportation to take you home. 

Personal success cannot be reached when you feel bad about your choices or when you're not around to strive toward it.

Keep looking up.  : )  AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

Today's reading may be the most important thought of one's "fulfilling" life, from "The Journey: A Calendar Book" (Pictured above and available at www.lulu.com/spotlight/allenjames1961), we read for January 23rd, "Respect yourself".

Respect is defined as, "esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability" (dictionary.com). I began my work as a psychotherapist in private practice in January of 1992. Prior to that I had worked two years completing my clinical supervision. Since 1990 I have been struggling to assist those with whom I counsel the strength we have within ourselves if we can come to an understanding, and acceptance, of just what respecting self means.

Too often society jumps on "buzz" words and their commonality in our daily discourse diminishes their worthiness. Self-esteem in one such word. Come to a true comprehension of self-worth. Certainly with maturity our self-worth is realized more clearly, but how much more quickly personal success can be attained by taking the steps to give ourselves the respect we deserve, the respect we require, to be the person we desire to be. Dispel the cloak of insecurity. Take on the personage of strength.

Keep looking up. : ) AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

The thought for January 22nd from "The Journey: A Calendar Book" is, "Have a job in the summer".

Most of us have jobs which run year round, however; when we are young and in high school or college some choose to take summers off.  It just comes naturally from the days of being a teenager.  But from any standpoint, whether it be when you're in high school, college, or if you're an adult with a job which allows for summers off, such as teaching;  find employment during those summer months which will keep you active and alert.

Mamaw used to say, "Idle hands are the devil's playground".  Certainly a derivation of a quote from the Bible.  But oh so true.  When we have an abundance of "down time" we have the tendency to look for something to occupy our time, and too often the "something" turns out to be mischief.

How often have we heard someone else say, or even worse, we've heard it come from our own lips, "I'm bored".  As much as we think we want to not be working, after three days of summer break we're bored and ready to get busy again.  It's our nature.

Keeping ourselves active helps keep our brain active, releasing necessary serotonin which fights off depression.  Skills remain in tact and we're ready to get back to work with our regular careers in the fall.

Keep looking up. : )  AJ.​

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "A Teacher's Daily Guide to Success"

Today, January 21st, we read from "A Teacher's Daily Guide to Success",

"Spend time with the beginning teacher" (James, 2012).

Although this reading is found in "A Teacher's Daily Guide to Success", it, like readings from each of Allen James' "Guide to Success" calendar books, is applicable to each of us, be we teachers, carpenters, sales clerks; you name it, it applies.  It's called mentoring.

A colleague of mine, said the following about spending time with the new teacher:

"After spending 22 years in education, I have earned the distinction of 'experienced teacher.'  The assumption is that I am 'wiser' and it is certainly poor manners to refer to me as 'older.'  Each year in August we bring in our new teachers and they look at me with admiration and hang on every word of wisdom I can impart upon them in three days of orientation.  I'm really proud of the warnings I give of things to avoid and the tips I can freely share to ostensibly make life easier and the classroom more efficient. Gosh, I am so smart.

"The reality of this ritual is that the advice I give to the new teachers is not the most important product of these exercises, but the eternal hope for the future of education I see in their eyes.  I am reminded of the feeling that I can and will change the world one student at a time.  Gone is the frustration with ever-changing learning standards, gone is the exhaustion of working way too many hours and gone is the sadness from the burdens some of my students had to carry that were much too heavy for their young minds and bodies.  My hope for these new teachers is that they will find the same excitement many years down the road in the eyes of new teachers that have yet to be born and the perpetuation of the dream of making our world better one child at a time remains in tact" (Dr. Linda Buerck, Director of Curriculum, Perry County #32 School District).

Spend time with the newbie....no matter your field....and always,  keep looking up.  :)   AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "A Teacher's Daily Guide to Success"

For January 20th we read, "Those who know do. Those who understand teach" (Aristotle).

        Ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle was born circa 384 B.C. in Stagira, a small town on the northern coast of Greece that was once a seaport. Aristotle’s father, Nicomachus, was court physician to the Macedonian king Amyntas II. Although Nicomachus died when Aristotle was just a young boy, Aristotle remained closely affiliated with and influenced by the Macedonian court for the rest of his life. Little is known about his mother, Phaestis; she is also believed to have died when Aristotle was young.After Aristotle’s father died, Proxenus of Atarneus, who was married to Aristotle’s older sister, Arimneste, became Aristotle’s guardian until he came of age. When Aristotle turned 17, Proxenus sent him to Athens to pursue a higher education. At the time, Athens was considered the academic center of the universe. In Athens, Aristotle enrolled in Plato’s Academy, Greek’s premier learning institution, and proved an exemplary scholar. Aristotle maintained a relationship with Greek philosopher Plato, himself a student of Socrates, and his academy for two decades. Plato died in 347 B.C. Because Aristotle had disagreed with some of Plato’s philosophical treatises, Aristotle did not inherit the position of director of the academy, as many imagined he would (biography.com).

        Teachers in today's world are well aware of the idiom, "Those who can't, teach".  It's such a shame in a world where more and more is placed in the hands of teachers to be responsible for when it comes to our children there continue to be those who wish to discredit the very individuals we entrust so much to.  I often wonder where Aristotle's words first began being construed and why the individual who did so felt such a disdain for educators.

        Fortunately we can rely on those with common sense to look past those with such small minds and look at each separately and not judge all due to the actions of a few.

"Those who know, do.  Those who understand, teach" (Aristotle).

Keep looking up.  : )  AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

Our thought for January 17th comes from "The Journey: A Calendar Book" and reads, "Volunteer".

According to the "American Heritage Desk Dictionary", a volunteer is "someone who performs or gives services of his own free will" (1981).  From the time I was a little boy volunteering was a large part of my weekly activities, without my knowing it.  I was very active in church growing up and as such found myself standing alongside childhood friends in the junior choir every Wednesday after school from 3:00 - 4:00.  Our choir leader was a young woman who was known to all, and continues to be known to all, as Ms. Barbara.

Ms. Barbara taught by example to be sure.  Weekly we would haul in Ms. Juanita's 1965 white and black Mustang convertible as well as Ms. Barbara's 1965 burgundy convertible Ford Galaxy and traipse down to the "old folks home" as it was called then, and sing for the residents, volunteering our time and talents to brighten the day of the elderly.

Ms. Barbara was as well the church secretary, a job which she continues to this day. As time went on I and my best friend who lived only a block, began showing up at the church office and volunteering for any odd jobs Ms. Barbara saw needed to be completed;  sharpening the pencils kept in the pews for offering envelops, stripping the fellowship hall floors and re-waxing them, organizing can goods in the food pantry.

These "random acts of kindness" followed me throughout adolescence into adulthood.  How much positivity comes my way each year when I spend Christmas Day traveling to St. Louis and volunteering at the Salvation Army's soup kitchen.  What I gain in "awareness" is worth more than any monetary payment I could possibly be given.

Again, the readings in my "Daily Guide to Success" calendar books are not intended to tout me, but are tangible activities, events, thoughts and realities which I have found to bring positivity and peace in my life and have had a major impact on bringing about personal success in my life.  If you don't think you volunteer, look back at your weekly activities.  You may be surprised.  If you know you don't volunteer, find something you can work the time in your busy schedule to help with in your community.  Volunteer.  It's worth your time and energy.

Keep looking up.  :)  AJ

​

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "A Man's Daily Guide to Success"

The posting from our "Daily Guide to Success" series for January 16th takes me back many years...."Fly a kite in the springtime" (James, 2012).

When I was a child every year for my birthday from my "Mamaw" Williams I could count on getting a kite. My birthday is March 15th and the windy month of March was perfect for kite flying.

Whether Mamaw knew or not that her gift was much more to me than a boy's "funtime..." I know not, but the freedom I realized while flying my "warriors of the sky" was liberating.

Still today I often purchase a kite in the spring and find time to attempt to set it free. Our lives are analogous to this very act. How difficult it can be to get off the ground when we fall. How often do we find ourselves losing the strength we need to stay afloat when we are flying high. But with a positive attitude and persistance we can reach our goal of personal success.

Try flying a kite this spring. Set yourself free....and...

 keep looking up. :) AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "A Graduate's Daily Guide to Success"

January 15th's daily reading supports yesterday's reading, "Read Tuesdays with Morrie" directly....

"Apply the principles of Tuesdays with Morrie to your life" (Allen James, 2012).

 

Tuesdays with Morrie, in my eyes, is an outstanding book about youth and wisdom, life and death, having and giving, holding on and letting go (www.bonnernetwork.pbworks.com).  The initial response I usually get from students when I present them with the question, "What is the main theme of Tuesdays with Morrie?", is "Death".  They then embark on a lengthy philosophical discussion about death and dying.  Not inappropriate for college freshmen and sophomores who expect the instructor is hoping to get their take on the topic of death and dying.

 

However;  I maintain the main theme to be found in Tuesdays with Morrie is just the opposite, LIFE and LIVING! 

 

Anyone who reads Tuesdays with Morrie is going to immediately identify a multitude of insights throughout the book.  Morrie’s story and the wonderful friendship the two men in the book developed is endearing.  Morrie speaks clearly, even as his body withers.  He gives voice to the viewpoint of a person who grapples with a confining, terminal condition. 

 

However; I have also found myself feeling guilty about how I have handled LIFE and LIVING/DEATH and DYING throughout my adult life after observing the way it is approached in this book.  When I was around 12 years old, I was helping my mother clean out the "root cellar", or in this case an old larger closet in the back of the house where she kept the jars of tomatoes, beets, green beans, and jellies canned during the summer for us to enjoy during the winter.  As we sat there in the floor of the "root cellar", I looked over at my mother, with whom I had a relationship of admiration, mutual respect, and true compassion, and said to her, "Mom, when I grow up don't worry about anything.  I'll be here to take care of you at the end of your life", or words to that effect anyway.  She just looked at me and smiled, straightening the flock of brown hair which always fell heavy upon my forehead due to my left part and the style which my military father always found suitable to me.  I truly always thought I would be there to take care of my parents, if and when the time came. 

 

Yet at the end of her life, as she lay at 62 years of age in a hospital bed weakened by and dying of lung cancer, I was starkly reminded of my LIFE and LIVING choices and how they directly affect our DEATH and DYING reality.  Now, 18 years later, here was Mom, unable to care for herself in the most basic sense of the word.  And because of my blindness, I had not able to help her as much as I wanted.  People told me many times my loving her was sufficient, it must have helped in some way. 

 

I visited my mother during my spring break from teaching that March, which also fell during my birthday.  I spent the entire time at her bedside taking care of her daily needs, allowing my guilt to be turned into some other emotion, anything but guilt.  One afternoon when it was just she and I in the room, I was overcome with the feeling of finality;  it finally hit me my mother would be leaving this dimension long before I or anyone else could have expected.  Out of my selfishness my mother opened her unconditional loving arms out to me, as if she was reading my mind.  I crawled up in the hospital bed next to her, sobbing as she held me tight, giving ME support and giving ME understanding when it should have been I supporting and giving to her.  But it was due to this moment I felt totally at peace with this finality.  I was given the chance to do what most do not get to do;  share with my mother what her LIFE and LIVING had meant to me and how much her LIFE and LIVING had determined who I was then and who I would become in the future.  I got to say my "goodbye" to my mother, thus quelling the expectation I had had for years of how I would NOT be able to handle my mother's death when it finally arrived.  Still her reminder came;  HER sharing with me just how much my LIFE and LIVING was etched into her own person, as she said, "You always said you were going to be here to take care of me when I got to the end of my life".  

 

Many tell me it was inadequate to just say I love you and hug her, but Morrie made me think differently.  He cherished all the love he received from the constant stream of family and friends who visited him throughout his ordeal. 

 

Maybe, just maybe, I did all I could. Beyond this, Morrie voices many wonderful ideas about living and Mitch’s responses are great as well.  The main message Morrie gives Mitch about LIFE is open up to love, give to your community, and find purpose in life.

 

Apply the principles of Tuesdays with Morrie to your life, and keep looking up.  :)   AJ  

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "A Graduate's Daily Guide to Success"

 

 

 

 

From "A Graduate's Daily Guide to Success", the thought for January 15th,

 

"Read Tuesdays with Morrie".

 

Mitch Albom's book, Tuesdays with Morrie is a wonderful example of how powerful the written words of others are in building our personal success and positivity, while at the same time provides us with nutrition spiritually and intellectually to do the same.  I loved the book when I first read it and think you will as well.

There are very few books I've read in my life which really leave a lasting impression on me, and I've read many, many books; however; when I find one which leaves a positive imprint on me and builds, not destructs, my psyche I return to it for much needed support when time allows.  Tuesday's with Morrie is one such book.

"Maybe it was a grandparent, or a teacher, or a colleague. Someone older, patient and wise, who understood you when you were young and searching, helped you see the world as a more profound place, gave you sound advice to help you make your way through it" (Albom, 1997).

For Mitch Albom, this individual was Morrie Schwartz, his college professor from nearly twenty years prior.

Maybe, like Mitch, you've lost track of such a mentor, the insights faded, and the world seemed colder. Wouldn't you like to see touch base with this individual who affected you in such a large way again, ask the bigger questions which may still haunt you, receive wisdom for your busy life today the way you once did when you were younger, while providing affirmation to him/her as to how their influence touched your life?

Mitch Albom had this second chance. He rediscovered Morrie in the last months of the older man's life. Knowing he was dying, Morrie visited with Mitch in his study every Tuesday, just as they had back in college. Their rekindled relationship turned into one final “class”: lessons in how to live.

 

 

Read Tuesdays with Morrie, and as always, keep looking up.  : )  AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

​Today's reading from "The Journey: A Daily Calendar Book".... Cultivate a best friend.

The operative word here is "cultivate". Friends come and go throughout our lives...however those relationships we "cultivate"...as in keep the weeds clear of....water as needed...make sure the foundation is kept free of bugs....those are friends regardless of the years that pass. Those are the relationships which pick up just where they left off...strong and sure...making personal success much easier to reach.. Keep looking up. :) AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "A Teacher's Daily Guide to Success"

The January 10th reading from "A Teacher's Daily Guide to Success" is a statement made by Phil Collins whom most of us recall as the English musician, singer-songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, actor and writer, best known both as drummer and vocalist for English rock group Genesis and as a solo artist;

"In learning you will teach, and in teaching you will learn" (Collins, 1999).

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

The thought placed on the page of ALL calendar books for January 9th may appear at first glance to be mundane or not pertinent to personal success or positivity in any way, however; when the reader does as is intended with Allen James' Calendar Books (which is give each reading thought....to process it in your own mind and search for its pertinence making application to your own life) its necessity is clear, "Wash your hands before you eat".

Of course there's the obvious fact washing your hands before you eat prevents the spread of bacteria and assists in keeping you alive so you have the opportunity to even strive for personal success...as well, the statement, "Wash your hands before you eat" reinforces what seems to be a theme in many of the "Daily Guide to Success" series readings, this being the application of life lessons.

Although it can be attributed to "old age" and it would appear we complete the cycle of life by becoming what we as youth detested, how many times do we hear adults talk about the fact young people have no manners? Then we blame the parents for not instilling manners into their children as they did "back in the day" and place the responsibility on teachers to do so.

Recalling the African saying, translated of course, "It takes a village" (despite popular belief it was not former First Lady and U.S. Secretary of State, Hillary Rodham Clinton who coined the phrase), we all must to our part to teach children to be respectful of others as well as themselves; the very foundation of how personal success is begun.

Keep looking up. : ) AJ  

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

Our reading for January 8th from Allen James', "The Journey: A Calendar Book" exemplifies what becomes our world view;

"Watch your family interact" (James, 2012).

What a pivotal role those with whom we live, work, play, and interact plays in our acquiring personal success.  Research shows the average American spends 1/3 of their lifetimes at work; 1/3 of their lifetimes sleeping and the remaining 1/3 "living".  Realizing this and taking on a new awareness that those with whom we spend 2/3 of our lifetime are co-workers and family, certainly being more "in-tune" with family and co-workers in a positive way can only benefit your personal success.

As a child growing up our house was always full of activity, but surprisingly not always full of noise.  By nature I was an observer early in life. Although I cannot recall childhood events prior to around the age of 6, those observations I recall from 6 to present day aided in melding me into the individual I am today.  Learning from my older brothers and sisters and how they interacted with one another as well as with my parents; and how my parents interacted with one another, vastly matters to the person I became as an adult.  But only due to the fact I was observant.  Sure, learning by coincidence plays a role as well, but having a heightened awareness by being observant multiplies this learning exponentially.  Then there were those with who I worked.

 Throughout my working lifetime I have been fortunate enough to have only encountered two individuals who's personalities did not "jive" with my own; one was a female who (using my analytical prowess as a psychotherapist; which isn't always the smart thing to do) had "issues" with men throughout her life.  The other was a male who had an inferiority complex.  In both cases I was miserable working with them and had to work at seeing where they were coming from and adjust accordingly or negativity would be the ruler in lieu of positivity.

Be aware of those with whom you live and work.  Realize it's your problem when you can't get along or have "issues" with a family member or co-worker.  Own "your" problem and overcome it.  You'll be one step closer to personal success.

Keep looking up.  : )  AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

Today's reading "Respect your siblings" follows yesterday's reading "Respect your parents" very close. Typically the response I get from people when they read this day's thought is, "Why should I respect my siblings?" In that lies the answer. Having an attitude of superiority or constant competition with siblings is in no way healthy to personal success. Again, having been reared with 6 siblings with me being the youngest, learning to "respect" or "esteem" them I learned quickly created less friction for me and I'm sure made what already seemed like a long, long childhood somewhat less troublesome.

My father always told people as his children were growing up that he had a basketball team; 5 boys as the players and 2 girls as the cheerleaders. Looking back on those words, and I'm sure he never thought of it this way, I see how we were exactly that, a team of family members working together for the same end; steering clear of conflict together. Not one of us ever wanted to see another in the cross hairs of our father's discipline (it was the 60s and 70s don't forget, when discipline meant discipline, not abuse).

And even as adults I continue to hold my siblings in high esteem, respecting their lifestyles, decisions and personalities regardless of whether I agree with them or not. After all, they are on their own journey's through this world. I respect that.

Keep looking up. : ) AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "A Graduate's Daily Guide to Success"

The reading from A Graduate's Daily Guide to Success for today is,

​"Recall what you learned from you grandmother" (James)

Almost everyone can think of a time when they've heard another adult say, "My grandmother used to say", or "As my grandfather always said", followed by some tidbit of wisdom aimed at making life more fair or stating an important life lesson.  My grandmother lived to be 92 years old and throughout the years I was blessed to be part of those years with her I learned much.  Looking back at those "life lessons" often not only brings comfort and wisdom to my own life, but as well aids in my quest for personal success as I gain insight into a world which much of the time seems out of control.  Think about those adults in your life who have had a major impact on you, then learn from their words even after they are no longer her to enjoy. 

 

One thing my maternal grandmother, Mary Delphene LaForce Williams taught me was out of events which we see as regrets can come joy, goodness and positivity.  What were the words from her mouth which taught me this, one may ask.  I was visiting with her when she was around 90 years old.  Most of our visits consisted of just spending time sitting and "being".  At 90 she still had a strong mind; physically she was hampered by the fact she had slipped and broken her hip when she was 72 and was tethered to a walker the remainder of her life.  Out of nowhere she said, "Jimmy, I married the wrong man".  Mind you my grandfather I never knew as he had died when I was about 2, which had been 30 years prior.  Thirty years hence she was sitting and thinking about the regrets she had of marrying a drinker and gambler.  My response came quick.  "Well Mamaw, if you hadn't married grandpa I would be here today".  Her response, "Well I guess 1 good thing came out of it". 

Recall what you learned from your grandmother.  You'll be glad you spent the time thinking about her.  Keep looking up.  : )  AJ