Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading

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Calendar Books by Allen James' posting for June 30th reiterates the Allen James formula for personal success, "I LIVE".

If you recall, a few weeks ago I introduced the acronym for my formula leading to personal success, I LIVE. Here I explain again as it's worth being reminded of.

I = Identify the goals to be achieved.

L = Liberate self from old ways of thinking.

I = Invest time and energy in doing what needs to be accomplished to attain identified goals.

V = Validate self regularly, assuring self of ability to accomplish your goals.

E - Embrace identified success after attaining it, even the smallest of successes. Enjoy and celebrate the victory.

Each and every one of us holds the potential to do great things, but we MUST draw from within and realize it is only through our own doing.

As always...keep looking up.    : )   AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book

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Calendar Books by Allen James' posting for June 28th from "The Journey: A Calendar Book", reads...

"Remember, we all need our personal space" (James, 2012). 

Proxemics is defined as: "The study of the cultural, behavioral, and sociological aspects of spatial distances between individuals" (Wood, 2012). Included within this study is a discussion about personal space and the role which varying cultures tolerate or allow distance to play in nonverbal communication; and like every other aspect of our world, individuals differ in their level of tolerance/allowance of their personal space as well.

This is an important bit of information to be aware of in your journey to personal success. Others may or may not let you know if you're "in their space". Discomfort while communicating can "turn off" those with whom a message is being conveyed. A few years ago I was working with a group of students on resume writing. Having established a positive rapport I was making great progress in getting what needed to be covered, covered within the time I had. Another instructor came in and walked around the room to assist. As I came up to "Trina" (name has been changed to protect the innocent) she was visibly upset. The other teacher had come over to help her and placed a hand on her shoulder and asked if she needed assistance. "Trina" was one of those individuals who doesn't like to be touched. Her personal space had been invaded and anxiety overwhelmed her.

We can't always know what others' foibles are. This is yet another reason it is so important to take the time to really get to know those who are parts of our worlds. When we take the time to do so, and allow others to know the same about us, we open the lines of communication to a point of clarity, thus messages, verbal or nonverbal, are clearly understood.

Remember, we all need our personal space. 

Keep looking up.   : )  AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

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Calendar Books by Allen James reading for June 26th from "The Journey: A Calendar Book", 

"Enjoy a good meal" (James, 2012)

Now I know upon first reading today's posting there may be a resounding, "HUH?" But again, it's another of those "obvious" which is taken for granted. I'm not just saying, "Enjoy a good meal"...I'm saying, "ENJOY a good meal". This consists of much more than just having favorite foods.

Long gone are the days of sitting around the family dinner table sharing a meal. Since the arrival of the TV dinner in the early 1950s, the migration from the dining room to the TV trays in the living room/den was inevitable. And we all know in the 21st century most "meals" are "enjoyed" while on the go; a protein bar here, a yogurt there, fast food in the vehicle. Along with the loss of the family meals as well went the gathering together of the family to share their days and connect with one another.

Enjoying a "good meal" means not only savoring the flavor and healthfulness of the foods we eat, but also savoring the time of relaxation which comes with the "good meal". 

"Back in the day" (a phrase I all too often here more and more as I "mature), or, "In my day", all  10 of us (Mamaw lived with us at the time), were EXPECTED to be at the table, hands washed, in our regular seats, at meal time.  Even as I was in my teens, my father having been a career military man, we followed understood "rules"; the "God is great, God is good, let us thank him for our food.  By his hands, we are fed, bless this meal oh Lord we pray", was said before each meal on a rotating basis, oldest to youngest; food was passed from left to right; if someone asked, "Pass the potatoes", the word "Please" best follow, and if one decided to grab a serving prior to passing whatever had been asked to be passed across the table, the consequences weren't enjoyable (Once I used the salt and pepper before passing it to whomever had asked for it and spent the remainder of the meal on the couch in the living room holding the glass salt and pepper shakers, only to finish my meal after everyone else finished).  Nobody else minded, save my mother, who usually cringed at the strict discipline but supported her husband wholeheartedly, (in front of us anyway) as there were always a set of shakers at both ends of the large table as well as two sticks of butter and two plates of white bread.  There was always plenty to go around.  I question today how in the world it was accomplished, rearing such a large family, on only a retired 1st sergeant's retirement check.  Then when finished with our meals we always asked, "May I be excused please?"  Then took our plates and glasses to the kitchen, scrapped anything left on the plate (and there best be only crumbs) into the trash can and stacked them beside the sink.  Although it may sound horrific to some, we can see today how the discipline of the past could serve generations since much better than the, "Do what you please" attitude of following generations.

Family meal time teaches proper manners, social skills, communication skills while strengthening relationships between parents/children and siblings; and also allows for the appropriate digestion of foods.

A "good meal" is much more than a stop for fast food on the go. A "good meal" is much more than satisfying our need for nutrition. A "good meal" is something in today's world which comes much too seldom but is much too needed.

Enjoy a good meal....REALLY enjoy a good meal, and find out what you're missing out on. Then you'll question less, "What ever happened to the American family". 

Keep looking up.   : )  AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading

 Allen James Calendar Books can be previewed/purchased (at a 25% discount) by going to either:

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Great gifts encouraging great success and positivity (Books are not discounted on Amazon.com or Barnes and Noble.com).

Calendar Books by Allen James daily reading for June 25th..."When you think of an invention that sounds like a best seller, think again before acting on it" (James, 2012).

I personally find today's reading to be pretty hilarious (Although I don't hear the sound of throngs of laughter from my audience). I was talking with an old friend some time ago and our discussion went to events which took place over 25 years ago. As we talked about how the experiences of years past mold us into who we become, I couldn't help but think how unfortunate it is many of the "experiential lessons" we learn through the "school of hard knocks" seem to never be given a 2nd opportunity to be applied.

However, there are times when our decision making skills can be kept in check simply by "thinking again". Through the years I've had numerous "great ideas" for inventions, none of which I'll name here for fear someone will take it and run with it : ) ... A friend of mine, we'll call Jim, and I would sit out on my back deck for hours coming up with invention after invention which we KNEW would be a best seller, only to never follow through with their development.

But there was a time when I decided to do just this, to follow through. I developed the idea all the way through to the creation of a prototype of the item. I then contacted the location of the Got an Invention? office in St. Louis and set up an appointment to see them. On the day of the appointment I drove all the way up to West Port, got out of the car, walked up to the entrance of the building, and then turned around and went home. I had chickened out. I had enough time on the drive up to "rethink" my idea and talk myself into believing it was all about getting money out of me (they were going to charge me $350.00 to even consider my idea).

Was it best to turn around and leave? More than likely; two years later I saw my exact item on a blockbuster movie at the theater. I'm sure it took more than two years for it to go from thought to product creation; someone else had already thought of the idea and developed it before I.

The point? Always think things through. Check out your options. Research your avenues. Don't expend time and energy when it can be spent in activity more productive.

Keep looking up. : ) 
AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

 

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Calendar Books by Allen James reading for June 24th. ...from "The Journey: A Calendar Book"....

"Go by where Grandma used to live ever so often and recall" (James, 2012).

For a majority of us who are "middle aged", who we are can be attributed to the "old country", as a co-worker of mine terms, "back in the day"; values instilled in us through the examples reflected in our grandparents while visiting "the old home place".

Although each of our experiences with our grandparents are varied, just as the names we called them (Ma-maw, Papaw; Me-maw, Granddaddy; Mimmie, Pop-paw), the lessons learned and the values which make up who we are can not be what they are without the mixture of those modeled by
our family elders.

The afternoons of swinging on Ma-maw's front porch, walks to the outhouse in the dark of night, hours of Hide-n-seek on Saturday visits, or just the quiet evenings sitting in her lap by the old coal stove embraced by her time worn arms; we were more aware in those moments than we knew.

Grandparents are different now; younger it seems, active and healthy, thank goodness. However, children still learn much from their family elders; this never changes.

Going by where Ma-maw used to live ever so often, even though the house is no longer standing, I am reminded of the love and care which I received there; the smells, sounds, tastes, and yes, even the sights of my childhood come rushing back to urge me to always remember.....we must always remember from where we came and the roots which brought us to the point we now inhabit.

Take the trip....go by where your grandparents used to live and recall.....you'll be glad you did.

And as always...keep looking up. : ) AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Books"

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Calendar Books by Allen James' reading for June 23rd from "The Journey: A Calendar Book"....

"Know who you really are, then try your best to fake everyone out".

Let's face it, no matter how much we know ourselves or no matter how positive our self-image is, there are still aspects about ourselves we would like to improve or we don't like.

When we tout we don't care what others think about us we're lying to ourselves. These aren't negative attributes at all. Continuing to better ourselves is important in working toward personal success. It keeps us on our toes.

Maslov's "Hierarchy of Needs" tops out at self-actualization", or in other words, enlightenment or perfection. I don't believe we can get there in this existence.

Certainly we strive to attain it, but reaching self-actualization would mean we have nothing more to attain. We would become complacent, thus stagnant.

When we accept this and really know ourselves, we can then model who we wish to attain to be. "Faking everyone out" is surely putting it blunt....but this the reality. Accepting who we are requires being truly honest with ourselves.

As Shakespeare said in so many words, the world is a stage, we are but actors in it.

Be true to yourself....and always....keep looking up. AJ

Calendar Books By Allen James - Daily Reading

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Calendar Books by Allen James posting for June 20th is interestingly enough, a quote from the father of the modern "power of positive thinking" movement (no...not Norman Vincent Peale) and author of As a Man Thinketh, James Allen.

"You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you" (James Allen, 1902)

People often say to me, "What is it about your life that keeps you so upbeat all the time?" Or I'm asked, "What is it you are doing different than me?" Consider for a moment the following scenario:

You and your buddy down the street have gone to all the same seminars, attended the same workshops, learned the same techniques and formulae for personal success. Yet, he appears to be happier, more fulfilled, living personal successes every day. 

Most times, the difference isn't in what he's doing, but in the person performing them. 

Your friend down the street already knows the secret to practice and personal success. What’s your buddy's secret? Is he smarter than you? NO. Is he a better person than you? NO. Did he go to a better school than you? Most likely not—he’s just learned how to harness his personal power to allow him to become the successful, self-empowered person he is. He’s learned how to create his own breakthroughs, to allow him to move beyond his fears and limiting beliefs. He is accomplishing goals and realizing his true desires, turning dreams into reality, creating fulfilling relationships, and modeling the strategies of peak performers to produce a quantum difference in his life. 

“Just what does it take to get ahead these days? Why can’t I get motivated? Why aren't my personal life and career turning out the way I want?” 

So, what gives? Who succeeds and why? What does it take to become the best version of yourself possible? Is it the quality of the school you attended? Is it that grade you got on your licensing exam? The number of letters after your name? Sometimes. 

Many of us know stories about people who were at the top of their class, yet, somehow, never achieved success. In other instances, there are those who got mediocre grades, or didn’t go to the top schools, who become leaders in their chosen fields. It got me thinking: 

While, arguably, some people experience a better all around educational experience, the bottom line is, YOU are ultimately responsible for your success or failure, both in business and in real life. It’s all about what YOU create. That’s why there is a discrepancy between being at the top of your class and your level of success /failure/mediocrity in the real world! 

Many times, we may find ourselves on the wrong road in life’s journey and not know how we got there. We may have no clue as to how to get the things we want and need for a fulfilling life. We feel stuck. 

What if you could create the life style you've always dreamed of? What if you could do it in a low stress environment? What if you could find the perfect balance between your personal and professional life? 

What would your life look like if there were no rules and you couldn't fail?

The way you interpret your life experience creates your identity.

“It's been said, all is an illusion. That's an insufficient distinction; more accurately, it's all a perception. “ 
--- Eldon Taylor

From the time you were born, you've received both positive and negative messages from your surroundings. Throughout my life, my mother told a story about how when she was a little girl she was kidnapped for a day as ransom for her father's gambling debts. For years I had an unfounded fear of being grabbed on the streets and taken captive; my subconscious mind would run the tape of my mother's story.

Mom’s words had become my reality.

All those messages, indelibly programmed into your subconscious combine to create your belief system. They become the filters through which we create our reality…our self-image, acting on them as if they’re true. While they don’t change the world around us, they filter our life experience until we believe them to be true. 

You become the person you think you are. If you think you’re someone who will never amount to anything… guess what? You’re correct. 

Rethink the thoughts which started your day. If you need to, reword and restate the inner conversation which you internalize as you go about your "living". We have no one to blame but ourselves for the outcome of each moment.

Keep looking up.  : )  AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "A Graduate's Daily Guide to Success"

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Calendar Books by Allen James reading for June 19th comes from "A Graduate's Daily Guide to Success"...

"When in a disagreement, speak in the first person. This let's them know you have feelings too" (It also keeps you from placing blame on 'them'."

First person: I
Second person: You
Third person: They

Akin to the well-known statement, "When you point the finger at someone else there are three fingers pointing back at you", taking this principle throughout your communication in general can make the difference between "hurting feelings" and "owning feelings".  It's vital to be clear in your intentions while communicating.

Through the years I've conducted many parenting classes utilizing the "Systematic Training for Effective Parenting" (STEP) program. This cost effective, research proven program gets results when rearing children, but many of its principles are just as legitimate when interacting with adults.

Through the use of "I" statements in lieu of "YOU" statements not only assists others in realizing you have feelings as well as they, it as well assist others in realizing you validate THEIR feelings as well, and take responsibility for YOUR emotions and role in a disagreement.

Consider the following dialog:

Trevor: You make me feel like a monster when you are always saying I'm cold-hearted.
Tracy: Well you are cold-hearted. You never consider my feelings. You are always thinking of yourself. It's always about you.

Trevor: You're the one who always has to have your way.
Tracy: How can you say that? You're so mean.

Clearly a heated exchange such as this is going to get nowhere fast in assuaging the concern Trevor and Tracy have. Such use of "YOU" statements is an attempt to place blame on others and blocks any progress the two may make in resolving the REAL issues the two SHARE.

Now consider the use of "I" statements in the same scenario:

Trevor: "I feel like such a monster when I hear you say I'm cold-hearted."

Tracy: Trevor...a monster? Really? That's not my intention. Not a monster.

Trevor: Tracy, when I hear statements such as, 'Why can't I have a say so', I feel as if I'm not being listened to. I want us both to have a say so in all our decisions.

Tracy: That's so good to hear. I just don't always feel included in our decisions.

Trevor: I going to work on making sure it's not always about me. Tracy, I love our relationship and want it to beat the odds.

Tracy: I love you to Trevor. Let's always work as a team.

There's no doubt this second dialog will get Trevor and Tracy farther in understanding each other more clearly. Neither are placing blame, instead both are acknowledging their own feelings which clarifies to the other how the situation appears to them.

One of my pet peeves, which we hear daily, is our habitual phrase, "You made me feel..." or "He/she makes me feel...". When I hear this, (and while "I" truly attempt NOT to say it...it's not always easy) my response is always, "No one can MAKE you feel anything. We choose our emotional responses just as we choose our physical responses".

Once again, it's all about choices. Let's choose to be more aware (and clear) of how we interact when in a heated discussion, argument, disagreement. Choosing our words wisely can make our worlds more positive and make our journey to personal success a more enjoyable ride.

Keep looking up. AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

I love today's posting for Calendar Books by Allen James reading for June 18th from, "The Journey: A Calendar Book". Too many times we don't realize the effect such a small act can have on those with whom we interact;

"When working with children, squat down to their level to communicate".

So much can be gained from today's reading, not only in dealing with children, but in interacting with adults as well. Sadly we don't learn this lesson until much later in life in most cases, unless one has followed an educational tract through an Early Childhood or Elementary Education program in college. I was well into my 30s and working with children in my private practice and learned through experience. Children responded better to my when I would squat down and face them eye to eye or get in the floor and become as they, literally on their level. 

Just imagine how terrifying it must be to a child when they are approached by adults; larger than life itself individuals walking toward them, looking "down" at them with nostrils flaring, hands reading "down" to them as if tentacles grabbing at them.

Meeting children, as well as adults, a eye contact sends the following messages:

I am listening to you
I care about what you are saying
You matter to me
I hear what you are telling me
You have my attention
I respect you
Nothing else is more important than this moment, this very moment

When we rear children who are allowed to be seen and heard they grow into adults who value others. It's this simple.

As well, every person wants to know their opinions, needs and feelings are going to be validated.
Adults and children alike want and need validation. Thus today's reading could translate into our adult relationships as, interact with those with whom we have a relationship by meeting them where they are.  Consider their experiences, past, beliefs.  Accept them as they are. This simple, effective method is free but the results are priceless.

Keep looking up.  : )  AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading

Calendar Books by Allen James' posting for June 18th refers not to one of Allen James' calendar books, but to his first novella....Reflections.

Excerpt:  

Beautiful Chelsey Williams is determined to get to her grandparent's from Michigan for the holidays despite finding herself facing a harsh Vermont blizzard. The ailing Volkswagen Beetle she has depended on to travel for so long is no match for the heavy snow and building ice. Losing control of her old friend, the bug, she swerves and is knocked unconscious when she barrels into a snow drift.

Enter Joel Cantrell, an aspiring artist and the man who appears to be everything she's ever wanted; handsome, compassionate, wealthy...yet harboring a horrific secret.

Will she make it home where Granny Mae and Papaw Lincoln are patiently waiting for her arrival so they can give her the news which she shoild have been told years ago, that she...?

You'll have to read the book to find out...
 
Reflections was first published in 1992 through what is called a Vanity Press....or more simply put, through a publisher which the author pays him/herself to publish their book. I was able to do this at the time through the help of "investors" who put up an equal amount of cash as I with the understanding (via contract) they may or may not receive a return on their investment. I had always read to get a publisher one had to already have already been published. This was my "in", I thought.  It was an arduous task going through The Writer's Market and finding publishers and agents who would accept unsolicited (not represented by an agent already) manuscripts.  Hundreds of query letters and hundreds of rejection responses.  This was before the time of email and the internet, so it meant stamp and envelop licking and waiting, waiting, waiting.

It was a great experience for me; the initial investor party where I presented each with a signed copy of the book to a toast of "champagne" (Sparkling White Grape Juice), then book signings, articles, speaking engagements. It was a whirlwind of activity. My investors received a 16% return of their investment and I my dream to become a published author was realized. I then realized what I had read about getting picked up by a publishing house had been a farce; to get picked up by a publishing house one had to have money and celebrity, neither of which I possessed. In order to publish my second novel, Midnight Journey, a follow-up to Reflections, I would have to take the same route as my first novel. The air was let out of my balloon of joy.

Then the years stacked up upon themselves. I continued to write; short stories, novella after novella, poetry, songs, children's books, but all the rules have changed.  There is now MLA 4, MLA 5, MLA 6, MLA 7, APA 6; each publisher requiring their own style to follow. However the business of day to day life prevented me from focusing on what I enjoyed the most, expressing myself through the written word.

I now find it 22 years later, I pick up where I left off; however the world of publishing has changed drastically with the advancements in technology. Reflections is to be released as a 2nd edition in the fall of 2014 with a new cover and edited (It's amazing the difference I find in my writing style over the years). Following soon after my children's book, Crystal the Condor Makes Friends and is already being considered by the National Parks System for placement in select National Parks' gift stores. Blue Hydrangea is scheduled for release in the fall of 2014 with The End and Lady in Black are slated for release in the spring of 2015.

Sounds like a long time off, but we all know as adults how time does literally fly past us. I look forward to the journey and having you along with me.

Keep looking up. : ) AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

Our reading for June 8th from Allen James' "The Journey: A Calendar Book"....

"Be aware of those with whom you work".

We spend the majority of our lives at work....2nd to the time we spend sleeping (such a travesty), thus being very aware of our co-workers helps immensely in our journey to personal success.

As I've stated before, there aren't too many people with whom I can't get along, but there have been three times in my life where a single co-worker has created a work environment where it has been a challenge to say the least.

Trust has always come easy for me, possibly to a fault. I've learned the difficult way to make sure I tread lightly around co-workers.

Low self-image and feelings of inadequacy can encourage those co-workers who seem to think competition is a standard in the workplace to spread their unhappiness like a virus.

I've found the best way to handle this situation is to just do my job. Being affable and getting through the day sometimes is my only life saver.

Certainly I'm not saying I'm miserable at work, the opposite is usually true. I love what I do and the fruits of my labor. I just am aware much more these days of the fact bullying does't cease after adolescence.

Be aware of those of with whom you work. Know the "good guys" from the "bad guys", then steer clear of the bad guys and always strive to be one of the good guys. Personal success comes no other way.

Keep looking up AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

Calendar Books by Allen James' reading for June 7th from "The Journey: A Calendar Book"....

"Know who you really are, then try your best to fake everyone out".




Let's face it, no matter how much we know ourselves or no matter how positive our self-image is, there are still aspects about ourselves we would like to improve or we don't like.

When we tout we don't care what others think about us we're lying to ourselves. These aren't negative attributes at all. Continuing to better ourselves is important in working toward personal success. It keeps us on our toes.

Maslov's "Hierarchy of Needs" tops out at self-actualization", or in other words, enlightenment or perfection. I don't believe we can get there in this existence.

Certainly we strive to attain it, but reaching self-actualization would mean we have nothing more to attain. We would become complacent, thus stagnant.

When we accept this and really know ourselves, we can then model who we wish to attain to be. "Faking everyone out" is surely putting it blunt....but this the reality. Accepting who we are requires being truly honest with ourselves.

As Shakespeare said in so many words, the world is a stage, we are but actors in it.

Be true to yourself....and always....keep looking up. : )   AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

Calendar Books by Allen James reading for June 11th from "The Journey: A Calendar Book"..."Don't ignore that child you were, He/she's still there and needs love".

All of us recognize this down deep in our beings. We often yearn to be the child we once were but realize the adult world puts too much responsibility upon us for us to allow our child self any time.

In my private practice I utilize a technique known as Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP); neuro meaning mind and linguistic meaning language. Within this technique those with whom I work and implement NLP are able to reprogram their brains to make more appropriate choices in their lives. I've seen it benefit a multitude of individuals in making better grades, ceasing smoking, losing weight and overcoming phobias.

One aspect of the NLP allows patients to see their child self clearly and spending some quality time reacquainting themselves with this child self. It's comforting to watch the reunification of this "child" who defines so much of who we are as adults and embracing him/her again.

It's a highly held belief men never grow up; we remain forever entrenched in our adolescence. Why might this be? It's as well a well known fact boys mature 2-3 years behind girls. Could it be possible females like this attribute of males, until they lose communion with their child self, then they loose the connection as to why it was they loved in the first place?

Questions which will continue to go unanswered. Don't forget the child within.....he/she is still there and desperately needs your love.

Keep looking up. AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "A Graduate's Daily Guide to Success"

Our posting today is a quote by rock and roll icon, Janis Joplin, who certainly knew the real significance of these words, "Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got".

Janis Joplin was a tragic hero to be sure. Quickly running from an adolescence filled with bullying and mockery, ironically, upon returning to her 10 year high school class reunion determined to prove herself, she found no matter how famous one becomes, there are some boundaries which cannot be crossed without pain and anguish.

Dead at only 27 due to a heroin overdose in 1970, Joplin had fought compromise on every front, truly having only herself in the end. "Janis Joplin has passed into the realm of legend: an outwardly brash yet inwardly vulnerable and troubled personality who possessed one of the most passionate voices in rock history. It could be argued that her legacy has as much to do with her persona as her singing. Music journalist Ellen Wills asserted that 'Joplin belonged to that select group of pop figures who mattered as much for themselves as for their music. Among American rock performers, she was second only to Bob Dylan in importance as a creator-recorder-embodiment of her generation’s mythology'"(rockhall.com).

Compromising "self" is giving up on all OUR needs and desires and to be sure, when we compromise "self" we find unhappiness. As unique individuals, how unfortunate to spend this uniqueness miserable. We are too precious to waste our life on anything other than enjoying what we have to offer the world; our positivity and the personal successes which can inspire others.

Don't compromise who you are. Believe in who you CAN be by BEING who your are.

Keep looking up. : ) AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James' reading for June 9th...from our featured calendar book for 2014, "The Journey", "Sleep under the quilt your mother made by hand for you" (James, 2012).

Allen James' calendar books are intended to encourage positivity and to support the reader's journey to personal success, thus are to be interpreted in a personal manner by each reader.

I emphasize this because today's reading could easily get a response such as, "My mother never made a quilt for me". A personal interpretation would look at it from the point of view we should cherish those things significant others did for us out of love, whatever they be.

I recall when I was a child sleeping under a quilt my grandmother hand made for her grandchildren. I don't know when she gave them, whether as birthday presents, Christmas gifts, or just because she knew we needed warmth in the cold of Kentucky winters; but I certainly remember the warmth they provided.

People just don't quilt by hand much these days. Which is what makes today's reading even more special to me.

At 61 my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. She was given 6 months to live. For the year prior to her diagnosis she spent every evening sitting in "Momma's chair" piecing together material swatches and then quilting those swatches into quilts. No one knew she was ill, not even she. Yet it was as if instinctively Mom was aware her days were numbered.

That Christmas she gave as gifts quilts she had sewed by her own hands to each of her 6 children, as well as one for my girlfriend at the time.

What a gift. A mother's love. A symbol of the warmth she had always provided and the comfort she wished to provide even long after she was no longer with us.

When I sleep under Mom's quilt I can but imagine with each stitch her nimble fingers working diligently to complete each quilt for her beloved children.

She passed away the next March. This symbol of her compassion will bring me warmth and comfort for years to come. Over 20 years later I still sleep under the quilt my mother made by hand for me. Life truly does continue after death.

What's your special something which memorializes your loved one?

Keep looking up. AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "A Man's Daily Guide to Success"

What a beautiful day it is in Southeast Missouri. My hopes are you get the opportunity to get out in the bright sunshine and enjoy it some today before more storms arise.

Our reading for June 5th comes from "A Man's Daily Guide to Success"..."When you get an idea... in the middle of the night and you can't sleep, get up and write it down" (James, 2012).

Many of you are like I and had to learn the "hard" way the importance of getting up and writing down a "great" idea you've had in the middle of the night. Too many times when a "great" idea has awakened me I've made a mental note to write it down when I get up the next morning, yet when I get up I can't recall the specifics of my "great" idea.

However, many of my "great" ideas have come from such a situation. I finally began keeping pen/paper, then later a small recorder on the nightstand beside my bed; and now with the advancements of cell phones, I can just reach over and leave myself a audio text for the following day. When one of those "great" ideas awakens me through the night I can return to sleep knowing it's there to be worked with when I can take the time to do so.

Case in point, about 20 years ago I had a dream which I awoke from in the middle of the night which I could see as a children's book. I immediately sat up and reached for the pen/paper and wrote it down. The next day I developed the story and recruited an art student (I was a school counselor in Fredericktown, Missouri at the time) whom I knew was always up for a challenge, and asked him if he would like to draw the illustrations for the story. A few days later he returned with rough drawings of the characters for the children's book; they looked exactly as I had envisioned them in my dream (talk about a sign...I knew my dream was meant to become a published children's book).

Now, 20 years later my "great" idea, my dream, is about to become a reality as a published children's book entitled "Crystal the Condor Makes Friends", which I've posted a mock-up of the title page with on my webpage (I even found the student who completed the illustrations to get his approval to use his illustrations, which he graciously did).

"Twenty years later?" Remember, it's takes millions of years for a piece of coal to become the much sought after beauty of a diamond. Our "great" ideas, our dreams, are similar. Many times it takes years before we see them develop into the reality which we initially envisioned them.

Our personal success is built from these intermittent "great" ideas. Remaining committed to them and persevering to the point of their creation is the key.

So when you have an idea in the middle of the night which keeps you awake, get up and write it down...and as always...keep looking up. AJ

(More about "Crystal the Condor Makes Friends" to come.)

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

Calendar Books by Allen James' reading for June 4th from "The Journey: A Calendar Book"..."Text the ones about whom you care about keeping in contact" (James, 2012).

Texting has, in many ways, made communication easier by helping people avoid long, unpl...easant phone conversations and making a quick “Hello” much easier. According to the Pew Research Center, 72% of teenagers text regularly, and one in three sends more than 100 texts per day. Clearly, texting is the preferred method of communication among young people, and the trend is moving upward toward adults, who are also texting much more frequently. While texting hasn’t been around long enough for researchers to study its long-term effects on communication, there is circumstantial evidence it is rapidly altering the ways people communicate with one another both via text and in person.

People keep talking about how little time they have and how they can’t live without their cell phones; but, if you simply watch people on the street, you’ll see cell phone calling and texting has become an addiction. How can you tell?

Consider the constant chatter – one call after another or the constant texting – an hour long trip in the passenger seat while on a extended trip is completely consumed by texting! Friends become like an estranged couple sitting in a restaurant, saying not a word throughout their meal. And it’s not just one person, it’s not only a certain age group – it’s amazing how one gadget which was suppose to save time is actually eating up people’s time at an incredible rate!

Is it connecting? Perhaps. At some level, it’s connecting; at another level it’s just another way to shut out the world. Gauge the reactions – if the cell phone dies, there are two reactions:

“I’m lost” look – what am I going to do with myself now?
Anger – a raging look appears on their faces and they become very agitated
It doesn’t take a psychiatrist or psychologist to understand the reaction.

Although texting is a useful form of communication, people are blatantly turning away from traditional means of communication and taking the simpler-less emotionally involved-route and choosing to send text rather than talk to a real person. A live interaction, where tone, diction, and rhetoric can be understood so much more than by a text. A teenage boy would much rather flirt and have a DTR over texting instead of in person. The same guy 20 years ago may not have had the luxury of texting would have had to learn to face his fears of rejection or failure and call up the girl and ask the difficult questions.

Texting takes away fear, and all you have left are those who perhaps may be more emotionally immature and overly confident in private, but severely lacking in the kind of self confidence it takes to talk to someone live. Taking the dating scenario out of the equation, people say things quicker without the reaction of the other person to give them emotional cues needed to re-evaluate what they are going to say before it comes out wrong. Texting cuts out nonverbal communication. Unfortunately. Texting curtails the human experience of reading people, of language, of existing in an authentic and genuine relationship. It will be interesting what texting will effect in the next 20 years as far as divorce rates. Those would be stats worth evaluating.

Text the ones about whom you care about keeping in contact....and watch your time texting diminish and your time in a worth while activity increase.

Keep looking up.  : )   AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading

   

Calendar Books by Allen James' reading for May 30th is a striking quote from American child and adult actor, Mickey Rooney..."You always pass failure on the way to success".

I had a failure today, however experiencing failure doesn't mean ...we aren't succeeding. Remember, personal success is success which WE deem as success...not necessarily success as the world defines it.

We all know the journey to personal success is not a simple journey. Our journey is filled with paths difficult to travel and many times are filled with potholes and rough terrain. Many times we find ourselves at roadblocks and fork in the road. It’s always easier to take the nearest exit and turn back. However I could not live with myself knowing I didn’t try my best and "keep on trucking".

When you just feel like giving up, always remember your goal and what it means to you. Motivate yourself by taking encouragement from others. Look to others who are well on their way to personal success. They as well have experienced similar roadblocks.

Always....keep looking up. See More

AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

 

For June 2nd from "The Journey : A Calendar Book", our reading is "Go hiking when you can".

Although the premise continues to focus on getting out and experiencing life in whatever way best suits you, hiking is an ideal activity to "experience" life.

As I've written before, at 40 I was gifted an extreme hike into the mountains of Oregon. The experience invigorated me and opened my eyes to the transformation which can take place when we allow ourselves the opportunity.

I mentioned Lee's Bluff last weekend; a bluff which holds a beautiful view of the river winding around curves of wooded inlets, sand covered "beachlets", and ideal camping spots.

Atop the bluff one experiences the freedom which comes from standing and "taking it all in". On the "beachlet" below one realizes the comfort which comes while lying in a hammock strung between two Cypress or the comradeship squatting around a crackling campfire with friends can bring.

Although I don't get to experience these activities often, when I do I hold them as special times which bring positive outcomes and positive feelings; times which are vital components to personal success.

Go hiking when you can. Endulge yourself in your own experience.

Keep looking up.See More

AJ