Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

December 31st of each of Allen James' calendar books holds the same reading, for I can't think of a better quote to end any year with than the words spoken by the great philosopher who died for his convictions than those spoken by this man:

"The only true wisdom knows that you know nothing" (Socrates).

Each year most world inhabitants who celebrate the end of one year and the rushing in of another make great resolutions;  personal for some while other yell them out to all who will listen statements of great change they hope to make in the coming year.  While goals are healthy to set for ourselves, Socrates words stand true for each of us..."The only TRUE WISDOM knows that you KNOW NOTHING".  We have no knowledge of what is to come, as much as we may attempt to set the course for our lives, decisions made along the way divert this course daily.

Socrates was known, and continues to be known to this day, as the wisest of men ever.  He himself denied this claim in Plato's Apology.  Socrates was human himself, thus includes himself in his own words.  What is he eluding to exactly? 

I feel what Socrates is saying is we must continuously strive to KNOW;  searching for truth each and every moment of our day.  When we realize for the first time the significance of the wind blowing against our skin and the warmth of the sun on our bodies, or when we acknowledge each time we look up to the heavens on a clear night and feel the magnanimousness of the universe in which we live and how small we really are; these are the times we can truly realize the wisdom is in knowing how little we actually know.

Search for truth before you make empty resolutions this evening.  Remember our reading for October 15th, "...Expectations equal disappointment" (James).  Setting ourselves up for disappointment is the worst thing we can do as the new year comes upon us.  A Georgian (Republic of Georgia, not the state) friend of mine told me how they celebrate the new year; on December 31st they write down on a strip of paper their dreams for the coming year, at the stroke of midnight they open a bottle of champagne, lite their strips of paper afire and allow the ashes to drop into the bottle of champagne.  They then drink the champagne in celebration of the new year and the prospects of the dreams they have just ingested.  What a perfect analogy of literally internalizing our goals and hopes and dreams; planting them within ourselves and nurturing those goals and hopes and dreams into and throughout the coming 365 days. 

We can gain much just by learning more about cultures other than our own, for much too often North Americans (those from the United States anyway) are too shallow about what really matters; our ethnocentric ideologies are deeply planted through generations of beliefs.  But we can break the circle of ignorance and search for truth.

True wisdom knows that you know nothing.  Think about that, and as always, keep looking up.  Have the happiest of New Years.  : )  AJ

www.jamesharryman2002.wix.com/allenjamesbooks

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "A Teacher's Daily Guide to Success"

For December 30th, from Allen James', "A Teacher's Daily Guide to Success" we read;

"Practice what you preach; don't just talk the talk, walk the walk".  Allen James

I was listening to a radio program last night while I was traveling back from my sister's house in Illinois, where I had a wonderful time visiting family and sharing quality time with Sandra (I hadn't seen her in as many months and desperately needed my "Sister" fix); and the guest was Bob Welch, the author of "52 Little Lessons from It's a Wonderful Life".  Although I've not seen the movie in several years, the movie is forever etched into most of our minds.  However; Bob Welch has obviously viewed the movie many more time than I, for he has extracted the book by the same name life lessons which each of us can gain from.

Toward the end of the program, he noted how the main message of the book and movie is how material possessions mean nothing when looking at the big picture, but what really matters are the relationships we cultivate throughout our lives, and however small the interactions we may have with others may seem to us, they are life changing to those with whom we have effected.

How easy it is to get caught up in today's culture of having things and thinking we must "show" how worthy we are by those things we have.  He mentioned how he had spent the day at a book event with 70 other authors signing their books and on his way home obsessed over either how many of the hundreds of people at the event stopped by his table and bought on of his signed books, or how many walked on by and didn't purchase his book.  Yet upon returning home his grandchildren were there as his wife was babysitting them for the night.  As he was handed his 8 month old grandbaby, who was very agitated at the time, within 5 minutes the infant was asleep and happy in his grandfather's arms.  Mr. Welch sat and held him for 2 hours, just looking at him in awe at the miracle he held in his arms.

Like Mr. Welch, as I sat in church beside my sister yesterday, who was minding her grandbaby, Liam, while his mother minded their 2 year old "busy" daughter elsewhere in the congregation, I got a surprise.  Sandra was called by the pastor to come up and prepare to sing a song.  Naturally Sandra and I turned to each other, but without reservation I reached over to take Liam from her arms so she could make her way to the pulpit.  Throughout the 20 minutes I sat and held that baby, I too was held in awe at the bundle on my shoulder.  Having never had children and being "Uncle Jimmy" for all my adult years, I seldom have found myself with a baby in my arms and resting on my shoulder. 

I write daily about the daily readings which I have placed on the pages of "Calendar Books by Allen James", yet yesterday I was reminded of how important those daily readings are to me to live as well as write down on pages to hopefully be meaningful to others. Cultivating relationships IS what matters.  Human interaction IS what matters.  Connecting with other like individuals IS what matters. 

Practice what you preach; don't just talk the talk, walk the walk; and always keep looking up.  :) AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James = Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

December 27th.  From "The Journey: A Calendar Book" we read,

"Don't mimic others, be the one they mimi:".  Allen James

"I want to be just like you when I grow up."  How many times have we said this very thing while growing up when we saw attributes in someone whom we respected, or possibly others have said this very thing to us.  Although it's a great compliment to have someone wish to emulate us due to our actions or character, it's a far greater compliment to be who we are and hope others appreciate our character or actions in such a way which encourages them to desire to be more like us.

Today's reading is one of my favorites of all calendar books readings.  Don't mimic others, be the one they mimic.  Be one of such character which is respected by those with whom you come into contact ir serve as a mentor figure to them. 

When I was in college I was good friends with this guy who had a magnetic personality;  I still keep in contact with him to this day.  He’s a good friend of mine.  He possessed the type of personality which attracted people everywhere he went, like white on rice, as they say.  I was always amazed  how easily he started conversations with unfamiliar people about everyday topics, and within minutes, was joking and chatting with them like they were old friends.  I was just a freshman in college, and although I was never known to be the shy type, I many times envied my friend’s ability to be so free from self-consciousness and wanted very much to be like him.  I began to watch him closely (without being the "stalker" type) to try to figure out what it was he possessed which  made him so irresistible to other people.

Why is it  some people just seem to attract others?  What are they doing different than everyone else?  Is it something we're born with, or can this ability be learned?  I believe anyone can become this type of attractive individual by working on two main personality attributes:  confidence and empathy.

The first is confidence.  There’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance.  The difference, I think, is arrogance tries to impress others, while confidence doesn’t worry about whether others are impressed or not.  You have to be comfortable in your own skin to be confident.

In college, I wasn’t quite there yet.  The reason I didn’t initiate conversations with people I didn’t know was because I didn’t think they’d be interested in talking to me.  Even though I had a broad range of interests, I thought I wouldn’t have anything interesting to say to someone, and any conversation I tried to start would become awkward and strained.  So, I just avoided the situation by hanging out with people like my friend, who took care of the conversational heavy lifting for me.  I could chime in occasionally without being forced to carry the conversation myself.

I started to understand more and more, everyone feels this way (at least a little bit), due to the fact we project our self-image onto other people.  We assume  what we perceive as faults in our makeup are readily evident to everyone we meet.  What I came to realize and believe is everyone feels this way to some extent or another.  And, the person you’d like to talk to, but can’t because you’re too shy?  They have the same types of hang-ups you do.  They’re most likely so obsessed with their own shortcomings there’s no way they have the time or attention to pick up on yours.

What separated my friend, and other people with supreme self-confidence, from people like me was the fact they knew this secret.  They knew the other person was most likely focused on themselves, so there was no reason to worry about their own shortcomings.  This gave them the freedom to display the second characteristic so important to building relationships.

The second trait is empathy.  If, like I said previously, most everyone feels a little self-conscious around other people, then it’s helpful to be able to get them past feeling.  You want other people to feel comfortable around you.  In order to do so, you have to understand these subconscious hang-ups people have and work around them to draw the other person out.  Make them feel at ease in your presence by finding common interests, or find something they can speak intelligently on.  If you can master the art of helping other people look and feel like experts on something when they’re around you, you’ll never be short of friends.  People like to feel like they’re adding to the conversation.  Here’s a hint:  if you’re having trouble finding something to talk about, ask questions about them.  Everyone’s an expert on themselves. :)

So, confidence and empathy.  It sounds more intimidating than it is, but I understand it’s tough sometimes to take that first step, especially if you’re not used to doing it.  Begin to make a habit of talking to people everywhere you go.  If you’re at the grocery store, talk to the person in front of you in the checkout line.  In the doctor’s office, talk to people waiting around.  The only way you’ll condition yourself to talk to people and get over your fear of it is to do it frequently.  By the time you’ve gotten over the fear, it’ll be a habit, and good habits are difficult to break.

Don't mimic others, be the one they mimic, and keep looking up.  :)  AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James' Daily Reading - "A Teacher's Daily Guide to Success"

December 26th....From "A Teacher's Daily Guide to Success" we read,

"Don't be complacent, ever!" Allen James

Complacency....we are all familiar with the word, and the reality of being complacent. The Merriam/Webster Dictionary defines "complacency" as:

"com·pla·cen·cy

 noun \kəm-ˈplā-s^ən(t)-sē\

: a feeling of being satisfied with how things are and not wanting to try to make them better : a complacent feeling or condition" (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/complacency).

Throughout my life I have veered from this "feeling of being satisfied with how things are and not wanting to try to make them better".  I can recall as a young boy being taught in church about the cautions of become complacent in our service.  The Bible states, “‘I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth" (Revelation 3:15-16).  This teaching spilled over into my daily life regarding not only just living, but working, playing...in every aspect I feared being "luke warm", or complacent, and being "spit out" of the Lord's mouth, or in other words, not living up to my end of the deal.

Complacency is a killer of spirit and of will, and as Tunde Jaiyebo, of the Nigerian Tribune says so sufficiently, "C omplacency is a blindfold which eventually leads to non maximisation of one’s potential and eventual loss. Change is the name of the game. The only constant thing in life, they say, is change. Complacency will stifle innovation which is the major key to survival in our present world. There is a pathetic story of complacency in The Independent newspaper of 20 January 2012 in an article titled “Kodak’s lesson in the dangers of complacency”.

“There’s no better illustration of the business maxim “change or die” than Kodak. The company whose name was, for almost a century, synonymous with film has filed for bankruptcy.

Kodak marketed the world’s first flexible roll film in 1888; it turned photography into a mass hobby with its $1 Brownie camera; it’s easy-load Instamatic became the most popular camera ever in the 1960s; and, in 1975, it even created the first digital camera. But it could not keep up. The company cut staff numbers from 145,000 to just 19,000, dynamited aged factories, and constantly reworked its business strategy. For all that, it never overcame its reliance on film.

Big mistake. Constant innovation, as Apple has shown, is the way to stay ahead, even more so in the face of the seismic changes of the digital age. Once the world trusted Kodak with its memories, now it looks like they are all it will have left.”

Life is not static. Life is dynamic and to be complacent is to be pushed aside and overtaken. We must never allow ourselves to fall into the quicksand of complacency. We must always remind ourselves at the point of any achievement that there is always much more to achieve. Complacency will steal our future. “We shall have no better conditions in the future if we are satisfied with all those which we have at present.” Thomas Edison. Naturally we all prefer success to adversity but if we do not handle success well it can be our undoing. Like they say, the enemy of your future success is your present success (and this is due to the temptation of complacency). “Adversity has its uses. It keeps you sharp and on your toes, ready to manage all that life has to throw at you. This is the only way to survive and triumph. Conversely, success blunts your edge. It makes you lax when you should be firm. It makes you complacent when you should be vigilant and there lies the danger. Anybody can discern the obvious dangers of adversity. It has all the subtlety of a truck running right over you. But if you manage to survive the first truck, the other trucks will find it harder to hit you because you are ready for them. On the other hand, the dangers of success are harder to notice".

Observe how you're living your life. Focus on your intentions, your progress, or lack thereof in your journey toward personal success.  With the first signs of complacency, re energize.  Look at the forks in the road and be willing to take "the road less traveled", as it certainly will allow your complacent attitude to veer and redirect your live to possibly greater, more rewarding experiences.

Don't be complacent, ever, and don't forget to keep looking up.

http://www.tribune.com.ng/news2013/index.php/en/columns/2012-11-27-08-59-07/your-life-counts/item/12848-the-danger-of-complacency-1.html 

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "A Teacher's Daily Guide to Success"

December 18th, from "A Teacher's Daily Guide to Success" we read,

"Keep it simple" (Allen James).

Over 50 years ago the acronym KISS, short for "Keep it simple, stupid", was coined by United States Navy engineer Kelly Johnson while working for the Lockheed Skunk Works, Lockheed Martin's advanced aircraft development program.

Johnson coined the KISS principle during a long engineering career of designing systems with simple repair capabilities, using tools and skills used by average mechanics. Today, this term is frequently used in software design, where function creep and instruction creep can make programs unmanageable over time.

Yet the KISS principle is similar to older concepts as well.  Albert Einstein stated years prior, "Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler." This means one should simplify the design of a product and success is achieved when a design is at its maximum simplicity.  As well, Occam’s (or Ockham's) Razor, a 14th century theory stating in a series of hypotheses, the simplest one is most likely to be correct unless the burden of proof rests on a more complicated theory (technopedia.com).

In our daily lives incorporating this concept make only good sense too.  Things become difficult for us due to our perceived need things BE difficult to be worthy.  How untrue, and unrealistic.  

Lawyer turned writer Cristina Hartmann confirms what you probably already noticed, noting "simplicity isn't easy," before offering her own home-baked three-step solution. Her method boils down to:

• Develop a life philosophy. Before you make any major (or even minor) changes, you need to know why you're changing your life. You need a purpose. You need a prioritization system. You need a life philosophy, a distilled set of principles that reflect your values.
  
  
• Divide up your tasks into must-dos and want-dos, and eliminate everything else. You have to do some things even if it doesn't fit into your life philosophy, like pay taxes, eat and sleep. These are necessary things that you can't avoid (without suffering horrible consequences, at least). On the other hand, you have your want-dos, the things that you love doing when you're not paying your taxes, calling your mom, and fixing the garbage disposal. This is the fun stuff that advance your life philosophy. Everything else? Junk them.
  
  
• Reduce clutter, both physical and mental. Clutter is more than untidiness. It's superfluity. It's excess. With unnecessary things piling up in our homes, offices and minds, simplicity becomes impossible.

If you’re less of the life philosophy type and more likely to face nagging worry about day-to-day things, Will Newton has a suggestion. "When overwhelmed, quickly write a point form list entitled ‘Things Bothering Me’ and then process each item in the list,” he writes, adding, “this will reduce your feelings of being overwhelmed and give you a clearer sense of what you need to do."

Include "things to do, things people said, things you don't like," he instructs, offering examples from nasty comments that rubbed you wrong to the stain on the rug or that thing you keep meaning to schedule. Once you’ve made this quick inventory of stressors, "go through the list and make decisions about what you have to do about each thing. Focus on just one of the items at a time and ask yourself, 'what is the very next thing I should do about this item?'" It’s a super effective five-minute way to bust that feeling of being overwhelmed, he claims (Inc.com).

When it comes down to it, WE are the one responsible for our own stress most generally.  WE create our own drama.  WE cause daily tasks to be difficult.  

Keep it simple...and always keep looking up.  :)  AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "A Teacher's Daily Guide to Success"

December 17th - From "A Teacher's Daily Guide to Success" we read,

"Keep a balance in your daily walk" (Allen James)

Think for a moment about how it feels to be off balance physically.  Maybe you've experienced an inner ear infection, or possibly you've had to cope with having vertigo.  Regardless the myriad conditions which can cause us to experience the feeling of being unbalanced, the feeling is not one to desire again any time soon.  "When balance is impaired, an individual has difficulty maintaining upright orientation. For example, an individual may not be able to walk without staggering, or may not even be able to stand. They may have falls or near-falls. The symptoms may be recurring or relatively constant. When symptoms exist, they may include:

• A sensation of dizziness or vertigo.
• Lightheadedness or feeling woozy.
• Problems reading and difficulty seeing.
• Disorientation.
  

Some individuals may also experience nausea and vomiting, diarrhea, faintness, changes in heart rate and blood pressure, fear, anxiety, or panic. Some reactions to the symptoms are fatigue, depression, and decreased concentration. The symptoms may appear and disappear over short time periods or may last for a longer period.
Cognitive dysfunction (disorientation) may occur with vestibular disorders. Cognitive deficits are not just spatial in nature, but also include non-spatial functions such as object recognition memory. Vestibular dysfunction has been shown to adversely affect processes of attention and increased demands of attention can worsen the postural sway associated with vestibular disorders. Recent MRI studies also show that humans with bilateral vestibular damage undergo atrophy of the hippocampus which correlates with their degree of impairment on spatial memory tasks" (wikipedia.org/wiki/balance).

Very similar symptoms are experienced in our personal/private and/or social life when we don't maintain balance in our daily lives.  I've been hearing quite a bit of buzz lately surrounding our maintaining a healthy balance on a regular basis. It's important to do it. Ideally, we should all maintain a mix of work and play, of things we have to do and things we want to do, of things which drain us and things which feed us. We also need to carve out enough time for sleep, relationships to sustain us, exercise, healthy meals and other life-affirming activities (sex!) in our lives so we don't drown in only work and chores. But what does maintaining balance look like?

Sometimes maintaining balance can be messy. Even when we find overall balance in our lives, there are going to be times when we are overloaded, times when we realize we need to pare down, and times when we can't pare down STAT, but can work toward greater balance in the near future. If you find yourself in that position, don't stress about it; it's part of maintaining balance, too.

To illustrate my point, try balancing on one foot. (Seriously, try it now.) Do you notice you sometimes find yourself leaning in one direction and, in order not to fall, have to right yourself by leaning in the opposite direction? If you just stayed perfectly still, you'd fall. Maintaining balance isn't about staying perfectly still; it's about recognizing when you're getting out of balance, and righting yourself. Constantly.

Staying in balance looks different for everyone, as we all have different needs for balance, different variables we work with in our lives, different levels of tolerance for imbalance, and different resources available to us, among other things. Below are a few different balance-finding ideas to help you in maintaining balance, so you can right yourself when you find that you need to shift back to your center of balance.

Take a Mental Health Day

The movie Ferris Buller's Day Off, a favorite film of mine depictimng a high school senior making the most out of a day of playing hookey, became a classic for a reason: people everywhere can identify with the need to take just one day off from the pressure or monotony of life, and do anything and everything possible to make it count. You may not spend the day singing in parades, eating in fancy restaurants or trying not to be run over by your jealous sister, but spending one day in a way that feels restful or fulfilling for you is the trick. Use your imagination!

Just Say No

Think about all the things you need to do. Which ones do you want to do, and which ones do you have to do? Ideally, there should be a mix of both. When working on maintaining balance, you can do two things which involve saying no, and both can make a big impact. First, see if there are any 'have to' items you can cross off of your list. (Think of your own well being, and try to make the appropriate choice.) Second, be sure all of your 'want to' items really bring you joy and feed you emotionally. If they're just 'sort of' worth the time, cross them off and start doing something really worth your time. When time is scarce, make every moment count.

Ask For Help

It can sometimes be easier for an outsider--someone who is not you--to see not only when you're getting out of balance, but recognize what you can do to get back into balance. Everything in your busy schedule may seem vital (and sometimes it is) but if there's something which may be more easily let go, it's often a good friend, close relative, or spouse who can help you recognize it. If you don't have supportive people or persons in your life, it may even be worth finding help from a professional, either from a life coach or, in more serious stress situations, a therapist.

Keep a balance in your daily walk...and keep looking up.  :)   AJ

(Scott, E.)

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "A Teacher's Daily Guide to Success"

December 16th, from "A Teacher's Daily Guide to Success"...

"Don't just look busy, teach smart".

My previous blog entry discussed the importance of setting clear expectations, not only as a teacher, but as an individual as well.  Today's reading is again applicable to ALL of us, teacher or other.  It brings to mind the "posers" I've heard about since the inception of cell phones who stand around while they're waiting maybe at the airport, at the post office, you name the place; and they've  got their cell phone up to their ear to make it "look" like they're having a conversation.  They want to appear occupied, they want to appear connected.  They want to appear BUSY. 

Although a busy classroom can indicate an environment where active learning it taking place, it more often than not (speaking from my 30 years in the classroom) is a classroom where students are not focused and the teacher has allowed the control to be thrown out the door just to be able to survive the day.

Busyness can and should be SMART.  Taking the bull by the horns, as they say, and learning to reign in yourself to be able to have actual "organized chaos" can, and most often does, encourage those with whom you're interacting to have a meaningful experience with you in whatever your endeavor.

As Meredith Fineman, a publicist and writer living in Washington, DC. She is the founder and principal of FinePoint Digital PR; "just because you clocked 15 hours at your office doesn't mean you've accomplished things in a smart way. Typically, you have 90-120 minutes before you devolve into internet fodder or social media. If you're putting in 15 straight hours at your desk, without breaks, how good is your output? How much time are you wasting?

The distinction between working hard versus smart has hit me as an entrepreneur. In high school and college I was always that girl who read all the assigned reading (and no, I was not giving you my study guide). I created outlines, outlines of outlines, and then flashcards. One of my greatest lessons as a businessperson has been to throw out that skill set. This isn't to say you shouldn't be diligent or that you should half-heartedly execute, but rather, that it's crucial to know what you have to do as opposed to everything you could do. It's about being strategic.

For once, I'd like to hear someone brag about their excellent time management skills, rather than complain about how much they can't get done. Maybe we could learn something from each other. In fact, I'll start—here are three tactics I've been using to work smarter:

Constrain the time. The more I constrain my time, the more focused and productive I feel, and the less I waste time on low-priority work. If you can only afford to spend 45 minutes on a certain project, then only spend 45 minutes on it—and move on, even if it isn't perfect.

Use a scheduler. If you're really up to your neck, it's very easy to find a scheduler, virtual or otherwise, to help put things on your calendar. Sometimes it's a matter of freeing up that time used for coordinating plans to actually doing them. Zirtual is a great answer to this. As is the DIY scheduler Doodle.

Cut the fat. Once I cut out superfluous meetings that were not: fun, productive, leading to new business, or really had something wonderful in it for me professional or otherwise, that plate emptied a little bit. (Here's a tool for figuring out what to cut.)

Yes, we all have some strange need to out-misery each other. Acknowledging that is a first step. But next time you speak to a friend and want to lament about how busy you are, ask yourself why. Try steering the conversation away from a complain-off. With some practice you might find yourself actually feeling less "buried" (or at least feeling less of a need to say it all the time).

Don't just look busy, teach smart.  You and your "students" will get then have something to actually blame the fatigue you feel as you head to bed at night.

(www.lifehacker.com)

Keep looking up.  :)  AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "A Teacher's Daily Guide to Success"

December 13th, from "A Teacher's Daily Guide to Success" (www.lulu.com/spotlight/allenjames1961)

"Be specific about what you expect of your students".

Notice how readings from any/all of Allen James' Calendar Books can be applied in all areas of each of our lives.  Definitely, we are ALL teachers in some way.  However;  having been a teacher for the past 30 years I certainly have learned the importance of being specific regarding what it is I want my students to do, otherwise, the end product most often fails to hit the mark.  Why?  Simply because NO MARK has been distinguished.

 Kim Campbell, a 7th grade geography teacher, provides this example:

"A group of parents were asked the following question: what teacher behaviors do you see in classrooms that create a successful learning environment for your child? Here are their responses:

• Hands down—enthusiasm and a well disciplined classroom.
• Consistency with student expectations and guidelines. Sincerity in communication with students.
• They have respectful classrooms. They don't have quiet classrooms, and their classrooms tend to seem chaotic to a casual observer—but a high level of respect is present to and from each individual, including the teacher.
• From what my five children have said over the years, I have concluded this: If my child feels that he or she has an equal chance to learn because the leader of the class, the teacher, has control over the class—then the focus of the class becomes everything the teacher does to make the subject interesting or fun.

A word that is constantly tossed about in the world of education is expectations. We’re told that teachers must have high expectations for all students. School boards, administrators, state education agencies, and legislators have high expectations for teachers. Parents and community members have all sorts of expectations for teachers and for students. Teachers have expectations of parents. And what about the students? They too have expectations of what will happen when they sit in a classroom and “live” in a school. There’s little doubt that expectations are omnipresent! But I am not certain that all the stakeholders in education have clear ideas about their own expectations, let alone any sort of agreement on the list" (National Association of Secondary School Principals, 2012).

Clearly stating our expectations in ALL areas of our lives will do nothing short of making our lives, and relationships, better.  In today's world of "quick communication", often messages get crossed and individuals are confused as to what others desire to understand or relate.

Be specific about what you expect of your students....and your family....and your friends, as well as anyone with whom you interact.

Keep looking up.  :)  AJ

Daily Reading - Calendar Books by Allen James - "The Journey: A Calendar Book'

From Allen James', "The Journey: A Calendar Book" we read for December 12th,

"Give freely of your time, money, and abilities".

In today's world, which seems every the more busy and filled than ever before, giving freely of anything at all seems a large order.  With family and work taking so much of our days, any "free-time" is considered just this, "FREE-TIME" for us.

However there are those, like I, who can only take so much "free-time" before I'm "bored" and looking for something to constructive to do...(Recall those long snow days as a child which turned into a week or more?  Most were bored after 2 days at home ready to return to school and to our friends).

I've addressed volunteering in previous postings and cannot emphasize enough the benefits of the giving back of our time to our community.  As adults we can truly see what this very community gave us as we were growing up;  from school to 4H, from church involvement to Little League.

The giving of our time can  usually be afforded, but when it comes to the giving of our money most cringe at the very thought.  Most of us don't consider ourselves wealthy; in fact most more than likely consider themselves as needy, or at the very least barely getting by.  How are we supposed to give of our money?  Of course, actually we do through our paychecks in the form of taxes.  Nearly a third of our compensation for our toiling goes to help the needy and maintain infrastructure in the United States, and there are always the local 4-way stops for one cause or the other, as well as the local school's fundraisers.  Rest assured, most of us do our part and more in this arena.

The giving of our abilities doesn't always come easy either; Many never recognize their abilities, but we all possess them.  Seeking out what it is we can contribute to the society in large is vital for personal success and a life of positivity;  it helps others and provides a wealth of benefit to our need for acceptance and self-concept.

Give freely of your time, money, and abilities....and as always,

Keep looking up. :)  AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James' Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

December 11th

"Use good sense"  Allen James

I've always been a big believer in using the good sense we naturally have instilled in our brains.  I'm not saying I've always "USED" good sense; believe me, like most, I've made bad choices, most always attributed to not using my good sense of judgement. 

Recently I came across these great tips for utilizing good sense and why it's important.  I hope you're agree and make a conscious effort to use yours more regularly.

Familiarize yourself with the purpose and meaning of common sense. According to Merriam Webster, common sense is about exercising "sound and prudent judgment based on a simple perception of the situation or facts". This definition suggests that common sense depends on not over-complicating the situation (simple), applying experience and general knowledge to the situation (sound and prudent judgment), and implicit in this is self-trust that your considered experience is valid for future situations. Karl Albrecht calls common sense practical intelligence. He defines it as "the mental ability to cope with the challenges and opportunities of life". He explains that common sense is situational, dependent on context, and that your common sense in one aspect of your life might be excellent while failing abysmally in another aspect of your life. As to the purpose of common sense, it is basically thinking that prevents you from making irrational mistakes or decisions, a thinking approach that may open your eyes to the possibility that insisting on being right prevents you from seeing the bigger picture.

1. • Common sense can also serve the purpose of removing you from being hidebound to rules, theories, ideas, and guidelines that would hamper or stifle the best decision in a particular situation. In other words, just because something says so, or just because it has always been done that way, is not a reason to abandon common sense about present needs and changed circumstances.
2. Understand the ease with which the human mind is convinced that an idea is right contrary to indicators clearly demonstrating otherwise. We're human; we're fallible. And our brains work in certain ways as a means of providing shortcuts to ensure survival in a world where being chased by predators could end your life. In a modern world where caves and saber toothed tigers are no longer a constant companion, some of that reactive, split second judging can land us in hot water as we react instead of reflecting, assume instead of teasing apart the realities, and follow habit instead of challenging its continued utility. Some of the things our amazing mind is capable of doing to override common sense include:
   • Maintaining our own sense of reality out of proportion with identifiable reality. While each of us creates a reality out of our own experiences and makes sense of our world through this personal lens, for the most part, we understand that our sense of reality is only a small portion of a much larger picture. For some people, however, their sense of reality becomes the only sense of reality and they believe that they can manipulate or magically transform situations to turn out the way they want them to be. In steps irrational behavior for some, and insanity for the less fortunate.
   • Reflex or associative thinking. This is reactive thinking that is based simply on what we've learned through life, reenacting learned models and applying them to each new situation as it appears, without modifying the thought processes being applied. This type of thinking leads to errors in thinking because we refuse to push beyond standard associations formed in our mind about how things "should be". When we apply what we know to a present situation by reference to a similar past situation by merely applying our mind's template without adjusting for the context, we're overriding common sense. Even where this template is a bad fit, the insistent or biased mind just ignores the parts of the template that don't fit by trimming them off mentally and only seeing the parts that "match". Hence, we have our problem solved without thinking it through. This type of thinking tends to make us easily swayed by current popular theories and fads, such as the current tendency in some societies to control social opinion through inflating fears of germs, criminals and terrorists, and job unavailability.
   • Invoking absolute certainty. Absolutist black and white thinking about the world and others in it in a way that never allows space for doubt is often a cause for forgetting to apply common sense. For such a thinker, the "one true way" is the only way and therefore seems like common sense even though it isn't.
   • Pigheadedness. A simple unwillingness to be wrong. Ever. Founded on any number of reasons including insecurities, fear, incomprehension, anger, and fear of ridicule, pigheadedness is the cause of many an irrational and unjustifiable decision or action.
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3. Divorce yourself from reality. This isn't an invitation to insanity. This is a request to consider that your sense of reality isn't real. What you see is what you've programmed your brain to see. And once you start down the slippery slope of self-confirmation that reality is only ever what you see it as, you're open to the possibilities of bigotry, selfishness, intolerance, and prejudice because you'll constantly seek to make everyone and everything else conform to your standard of reality, and your standard of "what's right". By divorcing yourself from this one-sided reality, and learning as much as you can about how other people perceive the world and our place in it, you begin to make room for common sense to grow because your sense is built on "common" experiences, not just your own.
   • Start by taking a look at your own emotions, beliefs, and practices to make sure they're not overriding your common sense. Test different scenarios in your mind to try and ascertain the practical consequences of applying the decision or action the way you want to. Is it practical, have you accounted for everything, and what will happen if things go wrong? If things go wrong, can you fix them and if you can't, what will be the consequences?
   • Consult with others. If your reality is clouding your judgment too much, reach out and discuss the situation with others to gain wider appreciation of their perspectives and ideas. This is most important where you are too close to a situation and any decision or action you take might be infected by your proximity.
4. Acquaint yourself with your reflective mind. This is the part of your thinking where true common sense resides. The part that takes a bit of time out from the cleverness, the brightness, the importance of everything rushing at you right now and suggests that it's time to add a dose of cold water to the excitement. Reflective intelligence is about being able to stand back and view the bigger picture so that you realistically appraise the situation or environment directly around you rather than forcing yourself to conform to its suitability or practicing wishful thinking. After an accurate appraisal of the situation, a reflective mindset enables you to set goals that are realistic given the parameters you're working within, and to take sensible actions toward meeting those goals. Daniel Willingham cites examples of people who throw money at the stock market, or people who choose unsuitable life situations as people who made decisions or took actions without using reflective thinking. Rationalizing that external signs seem fine while ignoring complete mismatches to the person you are or the beliefs you hold is a denial of common sense. In other words, just because other people do or use something effectively isn't a sign that it will suit you too; you need to put your own reflective mind to work on each situation to decide whether it will be a fit for you, your lifestyle, and those around you directly impacted by your deci
   • Do less, think more. Siimon Reynolds says that many of us are suffering from "Obsessive Do-Itis". This simply means we're obsessed with doing more all the time instead of thinking. And while we're running around frantically being busy all the time, we're not being productive and we're contributing to a culture that admires incessantly busy people. Is this common sense? Hardly. It is about working harder and longer without taking time out to reflect.
   • Allocate thinking time every single day, even if it's only 20 minutes. Siimon Reynolds suggests that you try this for one week, and says that at the end of it, you'll notice much reduced stress levels. And your common sense will improve markedly.
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   •  Reacquaint yourself with your rapid cognition. The previous step has just suggested that you need to reflect more before you take decisions or act. But the obvious flipside to reflection is the reality that some things need very fast thinking and rapid decisions that will produce sound results. Rapid cognition is the type of thinking that tells you that you're not going to connect with a person the moment that you meet them, or that a poorly placed ladder is going to fall sooner rather than later and needs to be shifted pronto, or that you need to quickly jump out of the way of an out-of-control car now. How do you marry rapid cognition to reflective thinking under the rubric of "common sense"? It's simple - spend your reflecting time wisely so that you will react wisely when quick thinking is required. Common sense builds on your reflection over past experiences, enabling you to refine your understanding of the world and how it works time and time again. This is in contrast to a person who only ever reacts on gut reactions, biases, and has failed to reflect on prior experiences. Reflection will bring about sound "gut reactions" or fast assessments of situations because your reaction is based on having taken the time to work through errors and successes of past experiences. 
   
   
   • Malcolm Gladwell says in Blink that "decisions made very quickly can be every bit as good as decisions made cautiously and deliberately". The problem arises when we want something to be other than what it really is - falling back into our own idea of reality rather than the many realities around us. And that's when our common sense fails us.
   Learn things that are basic common sense. There are things that every human being should know how to do and not leave to another person, things that go to the heart of personal survival, self-knowledge, and long-term health and safety. In this way, you can learn common sense through practical knowledge and application, informing you accurately when times are harder or when you must react quickly. Some of the common sense basics that every human should know include:
   • Knowing how to cook and how the food gets to your table. For every person who proudly proclaims that he or she does not know how to cook, there is a person easily persuaded by others that any food is suitable for them, no matter how unhealthy or how unethically or unproductively sourced. It's no badge of honor to not know how to cook for yourself; it's often a sign of laziness or a rebellion against supposed domesticity. Knowing how to cook is basic common sense because it will ensure your healthy survival under any conditions. And, no matter how infrequently you use this skill, it's enjoyable and rewarding.
   • Knowing how to grow your own food. Being able to grow your own food is an assurance of self-survival. Learn the skill if you haven't already and instill it in your kids.
   • Knowing about nutrition. If you're cooking for yourself, and perhaps growing your own food, you'll be more connected with your body's need for healthy nutrition. Eat healthily most of the time, in moderation, and with an eye to meeting all appropriate nutritional needs for your age, gender, height, and personal conditions.
   • Knowing and respecting your surrounds. It's common sense to know what local conditions impact your life, from weather to wildlife. Take the time to get to know your local environment and respond to it appropriately, from adequately weatherproofing your home to removing invasive species from your garden.
   • Knowing how to budget and not spend more than you're earning. It's common sense to only spend what you have. Sadly, many people manage to forget this in an orgy of frequent over-spending, behaving as if a bulging credit card debt came as a complete surprise to them. Over-spending is an irrational habit, as is hiding unopened bills at the back of a closet; reining in the spending with a budget and self-restraint is common sense in action. And make sure to get all important financial decisions and agreements in writing, from loans to sales; you can never be too careful when it comes to money.
   • Knowing the limitations of your own body. This includes knowing which foods wreak havoc with your body, which foods work for you, knowing how many hours of sleep you need, and knowing the type of exercise that benefits your body and metabolism best; read widely but work out for yourself what harms and heals your body, as you're the real expert on this topic. Moreover, you're no super hero - ignoring bodily injuries is done at your own peril, such as continuing to carry heavy loads with an aching back, or refusing to acknowledge constant pains.
   • Knowing how to analyze situations and think for yourself. Instead of digesting the pulp media thrown at you every day, and ending up in a state of fear because every second news item is a crime or disaster, start thinking about the reality behind the newsfeed and start thinking about life and happenings with a healthy, open, and questioning mindset. Help free others from the fear media by teaching them how to recognize the tactics used.
   • Knowing how to repair items. In a world heavily dependent on disposal of items rather than repairing them, we're adding to the Earth's burden. And, we're beholden to those who manufacture items with in-built obsolescence because we've lost the ability to tinker and fix things ourselves. Learning how to fix or mend clothes, appliances, household objects, car engines, and many other items that are important to our daily functioning, is not only liberating but is also an important way to exercise our common sense.
   • Knowing how to plan in advance. So that you're not doing things haphazardly, more expensively, or without an idea of the consequences, learn to plan ahead. Forward thinking is always a sign of good common sense, as is being able to review the consequences of different outcomes.
   • Knowing how to be resourceful. Resourcefulness is the art of "making do"; it's about taking small things and making them go a long way with a little imagination and elbow grease. It's about being able to thrive under difficult conditions and still prosper and not feel deprived. Resourcefulness is a key part of using common sense, and again, it's a skill that liberates you from consuming to live.
   • Knowing how to connect with community. It's common sense to be a part of your community; unfortunately many people prefer to bunker down and remain aloof or unhindered by the others around them. Connecting with others in your community is part of being human, of relating, and of opening yourself up to sharing and generosity.
   • Knowing how to keep safe. Whether you're in public or at home, safety is a matter of common sense. Pushing saucepan handles away from you on the stove, looking both ways when crossing the street, walking with a friend or group in dark areas of the city at night instead of being alone, etc. All of these are common sense safety actions that can be planned for and put into action before anything harmful happens; and doing so will often avert problems altogether. Think prevention, not disaster.
   Put new commonsense thinking habits into place. Take the philosophy, the psychology, and the popular theories behind how we think and add this understanding to the active ways in which you can use your common sense. Read How to think "outside of the box" to get some great ideas for restoring your sense of relying on your own innovative thinking processes. And Karl Albrecht suggests that the following methods will help to keep your practical intelligence (common sense) in top shape (and it's recommended that you read his book in its entirety):
   • Practice mental flexibility. This is the ability to stay open-minded and to listen to other people's notions and ideas, even if they scare you or derail your own thinking. It does you good to practice mental elasticity and to stretch yourself beyond the things you think you know already.
   • Use affirmative thinking. This is the way of perceiving yourself and others in a positive manner, always looking to see the best in others and yourself, and making constant conscious decisions about who or what you will allow yourself to be influenced by, and what you will consider worthy of devoting your thinking time to. This isn't as simplistic as chanting affirmations or thinking happy thoughts; the mental work required to maintain an affirmative, conscious mindset is hard but rewarding.
   • Rely on semantic sanity. This is about using language to support clear thinking freed from dogma.
   • Value ideas. This concept leads you to accepting new ideas rather than immediately knocking them on the head as unfamiliar, insane, or undoable. How do you know they don't match your viewpoint until you've worked through them? Equally, valuing ideas encapsulates the need to reflect often, for without adequate time for reflection, you'll fail to come up with your own ideas.If you put in the constant hard yards of thinking things through carefully for yourself as well as learning all that you can about the world and other's thoughts about the world, you're well placed. You don't have to be highly educated; you do have to be open-minded and curious. And realize that this is a process, not a destination. You will have to make the mental effort throughout your life as to which messages you absorb and which people you allow to influence your thinking. Even this article is but one source of guidance on common sense – analyze it, critique its applicability to your own circumstances, and cherry pick, discard, or adopt those things that suit you or don't fit with you. After all, doing so just makes plain common sense. 

• Manipulative and controlling strategies do not equate to common sense. These are signs of people who wish to change reality and cause other people to fit in with their notions of reality. You can't change this type of person, so unless you're paid to hear their woes, use your common sense and keep a good distance from them.
• Learn all you can of any parts of the universe that interest you before you die. This will allow you to cultivate common sense within a context. "Common sense" without any real knowledge is not even as good for humans as animal instinct. Raccoons have tons of such "common sense" but still try to stare down oncoming cars.
• Common sense dictates that all important agreements, such as financial and marriage agreements, be in writing. Trust not to the vagaries of time and faulty memories.
• Ancient wisdom can be helpful but it can also hinder. It all depends on the context of when the "wisdom" was developed and whether it stands the test of time or not.
• Try to remain happy even if things go wrong because whatever happens, happens for good!
• Generalizations are not common sense. They are generalizations based on someone's view of things as they stood at the time the generalization was made. Always question a generalization. The excuse "because it's always been done like this" is a generalization in sheep's clothing. Probe any deeper and you'll find that the speaker cannot pinpoint the exact moment that the generalization became the norm and one from which nobody can ever deviate.
• Listen to the world and people around you before speaking - particularly if you have something to say that might be considered judgmental. If you can't add something meaningful, don't say anything. This may not immediately increase or cultivate your actual common sense, but will give others the distinct impression that you do, indeed, possess common sense.
• Common sense is natural, but things can always go wrong; just don't beat yourself up about the past too much. Some things are inevitable.
• Ask people why they presume something to be so. Often we are so used to just nodding our head and swallowing the cliches as culturally ordained that we forget it's OK to ask someone why they have stated something to be so. For example, if your friend tells you that it's not safe to go outside at night because strangers exhibit only 1 percent good motives and everyone's a robber, ask them why they think this. If they can only cite generalizations, ask them for facts and examples. Even with the facts and examples, ask them why this is a problem where you live, where you're going, when you're in a group, when you're alone, when you're escorted, etc. Eventually you should get to the nub of the issue being derived from series of stories through the media. Then ask your friend, is it better to be scared safe or to be prepared safe? There will always be risks in life, even staying at home can bring on death and injury. What counts is preparing for the worst in a sane and sensible fashion (for example, taking self defense classes, knowing where not to walk in the dark, only ever going out at night with others, catching a taxi when drunk, etc.) rather than restricting one's life from fear.
• Avoid speaking or writing about the unimportant things that primarily make up our daily lives and only weigh in on those things that are of genuine import. You will not only be perceived as having common sense, you will actually be using it.

Using good sense attributes to leading a more positive, personally successful life.

Keep looking up.  : )  AJ

(wikihow.com)

Calendar Books by Allen James - December

Friends:

The past month has been a whirlwind of issues and I appreciate your patience as my posting has been less than up-to-date.

My eldest brother underwent thoracic surgery over Thanksgiving (all went well and he's home starting the long road to recovery) and I spent the week in Kentucky helping out with family needs.  I've been battling a bacterial infection for the past 6 month which manifests itself through Cellulitus on my right leg (an ongoing issues since I was a youth).

In addition to these challenges my college classes have to continue to be taught, my counseling responsibilities must be fulfilled, etc., etc. etc., despite the fact the mid-west was hit with a snow  storm last week which dropped a foot of snow and ice on an area not accustomed to dealing with such weather.  A week later we're still trying to dig out from under it all.

But we continue with our purpose, living life in a way which builds others up and breeds personal success in the lives of those who we touch. 

A full year of posting Calendar Books by Allen James' daily readings and how each has impacted me personally via Facebook is complete; from here on I will only be posting through this medium, so there should be no issue with keeping you up to date with the Allen James mission.

Please make sure to visit www.james_harryman2002.wix.com/allenjamesbooks often as well as www.lulu.com/spotlight/allenjames1961 to learn more about my publications.  Crystal the Condor Makes Friends, my children's book encouraging self-esteem, anti-bullying, and the importance of positive relationships in the lives of children is slated to be released in 2014.  I'm very excited about this and the potential it has in reaching individuals at a very early age to prepare them for what is to come throughout life in a way which supports personal success and a positive experience.

I trust you're well this season of LOVE and HOPE.