Daily Reading - Allen James' Daily Guide to Success series - "A Graduate's Daily Guide to Success"

Calendar Books by Allen James' posting for June 29th reiterates the Allen James formula for personal success, "I LIVE".

If you recall, a few weeks ago I introduced the acronym for my formula leading to personal success, I LIVE. Here I explain again as it's worth being reminded of.

I = Identify the goals you hope to achieve.

L = Liberate yourself from your old way of thinking.

I = Invest time and energy in doing what you need to do to attain your goals.

V = Validate yourself regularly, assuring yourself you have what it takes to accomplish your goals.

E - Embrace your success after attaining what you set out to attain. Enjoy and celebrate the victory.

Each and every one of us holds the potential to do great things, but we MUST draw from within and realize it is only through our own doing.

As always...keep looking up.  AJ

Daily Reading - Allen James' Daily Guide to Success series - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

Calendar Books by Allen James' posting for June 28th is from "The Journey: A Calendar Book", and reads...

"Remember, we all need our personal space". 

Proxemics is defined as: "The study of the cultural, behavioral, and sociological aspects of spatial distances between individuals" (Wood, 2012). Included within this study is a discussion about personal space and the role which varying cultures tolerate or allow distance to play in nonverbal communication; and like every other aspect of our world, individuals differ in their level of tolerance/allowance of their personal space as well.

This is an important bit of information to be aware of in your journey to personal success. Others may or may not let you know if you're "in their space". Discomfort while communicating can "turn off" those with whom a message is being conveyed. A few years ago I was working with a group of students on resume writing. Having established a positive rapport I was making great progress in getting what needed to be covered, covered within the time I had. Another instructor came in and walked around the room to assist. As I came up to "Trina" (name has been changed to protect the innocent) she was visibly upset. The other teacher had come over to help her and placed a hand on her shoulder and asked if she needed assistance. "Trina" was one of those individuals who doesn't like to be touched. Her personal space had been invaded and anxiety overwhelmed her.

We can't always know what others' foibles are. This is yet another reason it is so important to take the time to really get to know those who are parts of our worlds. When we take the time to do so, and allow others to know the same about us, we open the lines of communication to a point of clarity, thus messages, verbal or nonverbal, are clearly understood.

Remember, we all need our personal space. 

Keep looking up. AJ



Calendar Books by Allen James post for June 27th from our featured calendar book for 2013, "The Journey: A Calendar Book", reads..."Have a firm handshake".

There are many attributes to WHO we are and HOW we are which contribute to personal success...but one of the most impressionable to others is our handshake upon first meeting.

Whether you're a skilled communicator or not, when you first come in contact with someone and extend your hand, there's nothing more reflective of the other person than their handshake; a cool, "dead fish" handshake indicates a far different message regarding the one issuing it than the opposite of a firm, warm grip.

It's always entertaining to the high school seniors with whom I work when I'm teaching employment skills and we get to the discussion regarding our handshakes. I go from student to student extending my hand and first go around the classroom providing the cool, "dead fish" handshake, then return a second time with the firm, warm grip (Students aren't use to an adult being "hands on" these days; they don't know how to respond). Yes, entertained, but they get the message in a big way.

A recent study from an American university showed a firm handshake matters greatly when it comes to impressing a potential employer at an interview.

Even though you may look like a million dollars and know the boss’s fish is NEMO, a limp, ‘wet fish’ handshake could undermine all your hard earned research.

The study was comprised of 98 undergraduates who took part in mock interviews with businesses; they were graded on their overall performance, then given a handshake rating based on grip, strength, duration, vigor and eye contact.

Professor Greg Stewart, from the University of Iowa, who led the study, reported those who scored highly with the handshake raters were also considered the most hirable by the interviewers.

Unsurprisingly, those who didn’t impress were the students with the limp handshakes who were perceived as timid and having less than gregarious personalities.

Professor Stewart said: “We’ve always heard that interviewers make up their mind about a person in the first two or three minutes of an interview.

“But we found that the first impression begins with a handshake and that sets the tone for the rest of the interview.

“We don’t consciously remember a person’s handshake but it is one of the first non-verbal clues we get about the person’s overall personality, and that impression is what we remember.”

The raters shook hands while greeting each participant, either before or after the interview, so both interviewees and interviewers were unaware that handshakes were being evaluated.

A firm handshake is just one important element of non-verbal communication which affects personal success in a very big way. 

Have a firm handshake and take one more step toward personal success.

Keep looking up. AJ


Calendar Books by Allen James reading for June 26th from "The Journey: A Calendar Book", 

"Enjoy a good meal".

Now I know upon first reading today's posting there may be a resounding, "HUH?" But again, it's another of those "obvious" which is taken for granted. I'm not just saying, "Enjoy a good meal"...I'm saying, "ENJOY a good meal". This consists of much more than just having your favorite foods.

Long gone are the days of sitting around the family dinner table sharing a meal. Since the arrival of the TV dinner in the early 1950s, the migration from the dining room to the TV trays in the living room/den was inevitable. Along with the loss of the family meals as well went the gathering together of the family to share their days and connect with one another.

Enjoying a "good meal" means not only savoring the flavor and healthfulness of the foods we eat, but also savoring the time of relaxation which comes with the "good meal". 

Family meal times teach proper manners, social skills, communication skills while strengthening relationships between parents/children and siblings; and also allow for the appropriate digestion of foods.

A "good meal" is much more than a stop for fast food on the go. A "good meal" is much more than satisfying our need for nutrition. A "good meal" is something in today's world which comes much too seldom but is much too needed.

Enjoy a good meal....REALLY enjoy a good meal, and find out what you're missing out on. Then you'll question less, "What ever happened to the American family". 

Keep looking up. AJ





Our posting for June 25th from Calendar Books by Allen James is interestingly enough, a quote from the father of the modern "power of positive thinking" movement (no...not Norman Vincent Peale) and author of "As a Man Thinketh", James Allen:

"You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you." 
--- James Allen

People often say to me, "What is it about your life that keeps you so upbeat all the time?" Or I'm asked, "What is it you are doing different than me?" Consider for a moment the following scenario:

You and your buddy down the street have gone to all the same seminars, attended the same workshops, learned the same techniques and formulae for personal success. Yet, he appears to be happier, more fulfilled, living personal successes every day. 

Most times, the difference isn't in what he's doing, but in the person performing them. 

Your friend down the street already knows the secret to practice and personal success. What’s your buddy's secret? Is he smarter than you? NO. Is he a better person than you? NO. Did he go to a better school than you? Most likely not—he’s just learned how to harness his personal power to allow him to become the successful, self-empowered person he is. He’s learned how to create his own breakthroughs, to allow him to move beyond his fears and limiting beliefs. He is accomplishing goals and realizing his true desires, turning dreams into reality, creating fulfilling relationships, and modeling the strategies of peak performers to produce a quantum difference in his life. 

“Just what does it take to get ahead these days? Why can’t I get motivated? Why aren't my personal life and career turning out the way I want?” 

So, what gives? Who succeeds and why? What does it take to become the best version of yourself possible? Is it the quality of the school you attended? Is it that grade you got on your licensing exam? The number of letters after your name? Sometimes. 

Many of us know stories about people who were at the top of their class, yet, somehow, never achieved success. In other instances, there are those who got mediocre grades, or didn’t go to the top schools, who become leaders in their chosen fields. It got me thinking: 

While, arguably, some people experience a better all around educational experience, the bottom line is, YOU are ultimately responsible for your success or failure, both in business and in real life. It’s all about what YOU create. That’s why there is a discrepancy between being at the top of your class and your level of success /failure/mediocrity in the real world! 

Many times, we may find ourselves on the wrong road in life’s journey and not know how we got there. We may have no clue as to how to get the things we want and need for a fulfilling life. We feel stuck. 

What if you could create the life style you've always dreamed of? What if you could do it in a low stress environment? What if you could find the perfect balance between your personal and professional life? 

What would your life look like if there were no rules and you couldn't fail?

The way you interpret your life experience creates your identity.

“It's been said, all is an illusion. That's an insufficient distinction; more accurately, it's all a perception. “ 
--- Eldon Taylor

From the time you were born, you've received both positive and negative messages from your surroundings. Throughout my life, my mother told a story about how when she was a little girl she was kidnapped for a day as ransom for her father's gambling debts. For years I had an unfounded fear of being grabbed on the streets and taken captive; my subconscious mind would run the tape of my mother's story.

Mom’s words had become my reality.

All those messages, indelibly programmed into your subconscious combine to create your belief system. They become the filters through which we create our reality…our self-image, acting on them as if they’re true. While they don’t change the world around us, they filter our life experience until we believe them to be true. 

You become the person you think you are. If you think you’re someone who will never amount to anything… guess what? You’re correct. 

Rethink the thoughts which started your day. If you need to, reword and restate the inner conversation which you internalize as you go about your "living". We have no one to blame but ourselves for the outcome of each moment.

Keep looking up. AJ

Daily Reading - Allen James' Daily Guide to Success series - Readings from June 6th - June 10th

Again I say...thanks for your patience with my postings. I'm having to jump from computer to computer; where I live out in the country doesn't provide service so I have to use my phone to post, which prevents me from sharing postings to Goodreads.

 

Calendar Books by Allen James daily reading for June 6th from "The Journey: A Calendar Book"..."When you think of an invention that sounds like a best seller, think again before acting on it".

I personally find today's reading to be pretty hilarious (Although I don't hear the sound of throngs of laughter from my audience). I was talking with an old friend last night and our discussion went to events which took place over 20 years ago. As we talked about how the experiences of years past mold us into who we become, I couldn't help but think how unfortunate it is many of the "experiential lessons" we learn through the "school of hard knocks" seem to never be given a 2nd opportunity to be applied.

However, there are times when our decision making skills can be kept in check simply by "thinking again". Through the years I've had numerous "great ideas" for inventions, none of which I'll name here for fear someone will take it and run with it... A friend of mine, we'll call Jim, and I use to sit out on my back deck and come up with invention after invention which we KNEW would be a best seller, only to never follow through with their development.

But there was a time when I decided to do just this, to follow through. I developed the idea all the way through to the creation of a prototype of the item. I then contacted the location of the "Got an Invention?" office in St. Louis and set up an appointment to see them. On the day of the appointment I drove all the way up to West Port, got out of the car, walked up to the entrance of the building, and then turned around and went home. I had chickened out. I had enough time on the drive up to "rethink" my idea and talk myself into believing it was all about getting money out of me (they were going to charge me $350.00 to even consider my idea).

Was it best to turn around and leave? More than likely; two years later I saw my exact item on a blockbuster movie at the theater. I'm sure it took more than two years for it to go from thought to product creation; someone else had already thought of the idea and developed it before I.

The point? Always think things through. Check out your options. Research your avenues. Don't expend time and energy when it can be spent in activity more productive.

Keep looking up. AJ






Calendar Books by Allen James' reading for June 7th from "The Journey: A Calendar Book"....

"Know who you really are, then try your best to fake everyone out".

Let's face it, no matter how much we know ourselves or no matter how positive our self-image is, there are still aspects about ourselves we would like to improve or we don't like.

When we tout we don't care what others think about us we're lying to ourselves. These aren't negative attributes at all. Continuing to better ourselves is important in working toward personal success. It keeps us on our toes.

Maslov's "Hierarchy of Needs" tops out at self-actualization", or in other words, enlightenment or perfection. I don't believe we can get there in this existence.

Certainly we strive to attain it, but reaching self-actualization would mean we have nothing more to attain. We would become complacent, thus stagnant.

When we accept this and really know ourselves, we can then model who we wish to attain to be. "Faking everyone out" is surely putting it blunt....but this the reality. Accepting who we are requires being truly honest with ourselves.

As Shakespeare said in so many words, the world is a stage, we are but actors in it.

Be true to yourself....and always....keep looking up. AJ







Our reading for June 8th from Allen James' "The Journey: A Calendar Book"....

"Be aware of those with whom you work".

We spend the majority of our lives at work....2nd to the time we spend sleeping (such a travesty), thus being very aware of our co-workers helps immensely in our journey to personal success.

As I've stated before, there aren't too many people with whom I can't get along, but there have been three times in my life where a single co-worker has created a work environment where it has been a challenge to say the least.

Trust has always come easy for me, possibly to a fault. I've learned the difficult way to make sure I tread lightly around co-workers.

Low self-image and feelings of inadequacy can encourage those co-workers who seem to think competition is a standard in the workplace to spread their unhappiness like a virus.

I've found the best way to handle this situation is to just do my job. Being affable and getting through the day sometimes is my only life saver.

Certainly I'm not saying I'm miserable at work, the opposite is usually true. I love what I do and the fruits of my labor. I just am aware much more these days of the fact bullying does't cease after adolescence.

Be aware of those of with whom you work. Know the "good guys" from the "bad guys", then steer clear of the bad guys and always strive to be one of the good guys. Personal success comes no other way.

Keep looking up AJ





Calendar Books by Allen James' reading for June 9th...from our featured calendar book for 2013, "The Journey", "Sleep under the quilt your mother made by hand for you".

Allen James' calendar books are intended to encourage positivity and to support the reader's journey to personal success, thus are to be interpreted in a personal manner by each reader.

I emphasize this because today's reading could easily get a response such as, "My mother never made a quilt for me". A personal interpretation would look at it from the point of view we should cherish those things significant others did for us out of love, whatever they be.
I recall when I was a child sleeping under a quilt my grandmother hand made for her grandchildren. I don't know when she gave them, whether as birthday presents, Christmas gifts, or just because she knew we needed warmth in the cold of Kentucky winters; but I certainly remember the warmth they provided.

People just don't quilt by hand much these days. Which is what makes today's reading even more special to me.

At 61 my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. She was given 6 months to live. For the year prior to her diagnosis she spent every evening sitting in "Momma's chair" piecing together material swatches and then quilting those swatches into quilts. No one knew she was ill, not even she. Yet it was as if instinctively Mom was aware her days were numbered.

That Christmas she gave as gifts quilts she had sewed by her own hands to each of her 6 children, as well as one for my girlfriend at the time.

What a gift. A mother's love. A symbol of the warmth she had always provided and the comfort she wished to provide even long after she was no longer with us.

When I sleep under Mom's quilt I can but imagine with each stitch her nimble fingers working diligently to complete each quilt for her beloved children.

She passed away the next March. This symbol of her compassion will bring me warmth and comfort for years to come. Almost 20 years later I still sleep under the quilt my mother made by hand for me. Life truly does continue after death.

What's your special something which memorializes your loved one?

Keep looking up. AJ







Our posting today is a quote by rock and roll icon, Janis Joplin, who certainly knew the real significance of these words, "Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got".

Janis Joplin was a tragic hero to be sure. Quickly running from an adolescence filled with bullying and mockery, ironically, upon returning to her 10 year high school class reunion determined to prove herself, she found no matter how famous one becomes, there are some boundaries which cannot be crossed without pain and anguish.

Dead at only 27 due to a heroin overdose in 1970, Joplin had fought compromise on every front, truly having only herself in the end. "Janis Joplin has passed into the realm of legend: an outwardly brash yet inwardly vulnerable and troubled personality who possessed one of the most passionate voices in rock history. It could be argued that her legacy has as much to do with her persona as her singing. Music journalist Ellen Wills asserted that 'Joplin belonged to that select group of pop figures who mattered as much for themselves as for their music. Among American rock performers, she was second only to Bob Dylan in importance as a creator-recorder-embodiment of her generation’s mythology'"(rockhall.com).

Compromising "self" is giving up on all OUR needs and desires and to be sure, when we compromise "self" we find unhappiness. As unique individuals, how unfortunate to spend this uniqueness miserable. We are too precious to waste our life on anything other than enjoying what we have to offer the world; our positivity and the personal successes which can inspire others.

Don't compromise who you are. Believe in who you CAN be by BEING who your are.

Keep looking up. : ) AJ

Daily Readings - Allen James' Daily Guide to Success series - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

Calendar Books by Allen James reading for June 24th is taken from "A Graduate's Daily Guide to Success"...

"Take a self-defense class".

Self-defense is the use of force to defend oneself when under attack. This might be a physical attack or mental attack. Whichever, we should be well able to defend ourselves and have confidence in our ability to do so.

Given the ultra-modern world in which we live, we never are sure of what might be around the next corner. Being prepared, but not paranoid, is a good rule of thumb. Having some training in self-defense is just good sense.

Over the past few decades martial arts and other physical form of self defense have become ideal self-defense tactics; effective because only the body and mind are requirements for use. They not only protect lives, but also promote beneficial effects for both mind and body.

In addition to martial arts there are also hand-held electrocuting devices, flammable paraphernalia, or even body spray will do the trick.

Other than the actual self-defense, it is also important to use your head; common sense. Don’t take routes which seclude you; such as passing through dark alleys. These kinds of decisions only increase the risk of attack.

There are countless other ways we can protect ourselves. Regardless, knowing how to defend yourself in the event you are faced with a need to do so is more and more necessary in the 21st century; and the most effective form is learning martial arts. You can achieve this through enrolling in martial clinic or class near you or you can surf the net and find video or reading materials which will help you learn effective self defense.

We don't have to be a boy scout to utilize the boy scout motto; be prepared.

Keep looking up. AJ


Calendar Books by Allen James reading for June 23rd. ...from "The Journey: A Calendar Book"....

"Go by where Grandma used to live ever so. often and recall".

For a majority of us who are "middle aged", who we are can be attributed to the "old country", as a co-worker says, values instilled in us through the examples reflected in our grandparents while visiting "the old homeplace".

Although each of our experiences with our grandparents are varied, just as the names we called them (Mamaw, Papaw; Memaw, Granddaddy; Memmie, Poppaw), the lessons learned and the values which make up who we are can not be what they are without the mixture of those modeled by
our family elders.

The afternoons of swinging on Mamaw's front porch, walks to the outhouse in the dark of night, hours of Hide-n-seek on Saturday visits, or just the quiet evenings sitting in her lap by the old coal stove embraced by her time worn arms; we were more aware in those moments than we knew.

Grandparents are different now; younger it seems, active and healthy, thank goodness. However, children still learn much from their family elders; this never changes.

Going by where Mamaw used to live ever so often, even though the house is no longer standing, I am reminded of the love and care which I received on that spot; and the smells, sounds, tastes, and yes, even the sights of my childhood come rushing back to urge me to always remember.....

Take the trip....go by where your grandparents used to live and recall.....you'll be glad you did.

And as always...keep looking up. AJ





Calendar Books by Allen James reading for June 22nd,

"Success is not the result of spontanious combustion, you must set yourself on fire" (Reggie Leach)


Calendar Books by Allen James reading for June 20th comes from "A Graduate's Daily Guide to Success"...

"When in a disagreement, speak in the first person. This let's them know you have feelings too" (It also keeps you from placing blame on "them").

First person: I
Second person: You
Third person: They

Akin to the well-known statement, "When you point the finger at someone else there are three fingers pointing back at you", taking this principle throughout your communication in general can make the difference between "hurting feelings" and "owning feelings".

Through the years I've conducted many parenting classes utilizing the "Systematic Training for Effective Parenting" (STEP) program. This cost effective, research proven program gets results when rearing children, but many of its principles are just as legitimate when interacting with adults.

Through the use of "I" statements in lieu of "YOU" statements not only assists others in realizing you have feelings as well as they, it as well assist others in realizing you validate THEIR feelings as well, and take responsibility for YOUR emotions and role in a disagreement.

Consider the following dialog:

Scott: "You make me feel like a monster when you are always saying I'm cold-hearted."

Patricia: "Well you are cold-hearted. You never consider my feelings. You are always thinking of yourself. It's always about you".

Scott: "You're the one who always has to have your way".

Patricia: "How can you say that? You're so mean."

Clearly a heated exchange such as this is going to get nowhere fast in assuaging the concern Scott and Patricia have. Such use of "YOU" statements is an attempt to place blame on others and blocks any progress the two may make in resolving the REAL issues the two SHARE.

Now consider the use of "I" statements in the same scenario:

Scott: "I feel like such a monster when I hear you say I'm cold-hearted."

Patricia: "Scott...a monster? Really? That's not my intention. Not a monster."

Scott: Patricia, when I hear statements such as, 'Why can't I have a say so', I feel as if I'm not being listened to. I want us both to have a say so in all our decisions".

Patricia: "That's so good to hear. I just don't always feel included in our decisions."

Scott: "I going to work on making sure it's not always about me. Patricia, I love our relationship and want it to beat the odds."

Patricia: "I love you to Scott. Let's always work as a team."

There's no doubt this second dialog will get Scott and Patricia farther in understanding each other more clearly. Neither are placing blame, instead both are acknowledging their own feelings which clarifies to the other how the situation appears to them.

One of my pet peeves, which we hear daily, is our habitual phrase, "You made me feel..." or "He/she makes me feel...". When I hear this, (and while "I" truly attempt NOT to say it...it's not always easy) my response is always, "No one can MAKE you feel anything. We choose our emotional responses just as we choose our physical responses".

Once again, it's all about choices. Let's choose to be more aware of how we interact when in a heated discussion, argument, disagreement. Choosing our words wisely can make our worlds more positive and make our journey to personal success a more enjoyable ride.

Keep looking up. AJ





I love today's posting for Calendar Books by Allen James reading for June 18th from, "The Journey: A Calendar Book". Too many times we don't realize the effect such a small act can have on those with whom we interact;

"When working with children, squat down to their level to communicate".

So much can be gained from today's reading, not only in dealing with children, but in interacting with adults as well. Sadly we don't learn this lesson until much later in life in most cases, unless you go through an early childhood or elementary education program in college. I was well into my 30s and working with children in my private counseling practice and learned through experience. Children responded better to my when I would squat down and face them eye to eye or get in the floor and become as they, literally on their level.

Just imagine how terrifying it must be to a child when they are approached by adults; larger than life itself individuals walking toward them, looking "down" at them with nostrils flaring, hands reading "down" to them as if tentacles grabbing at them.

Meeting children, as well as adults, a eye contact sends the following messages:

I am listening to you
I care about what you are saying
You matter to me
I hear what you are telling me
You have my attention
I respect you
Nothing else is more important than this moment, right now

When we rear children who are allowed to be seen and heard they grow into adults who value others. It's this simple.

Every person wants to know their opinions, needs and feelings are going to be validated.

Children and adults alike want and need validation. This simple, effective method is free but the results are priceless.

Keep looking up. AJ

Readers....again, sorry for the detour.   I've got behind on postings due to Goodreads being blocked at work....this is "supposed" to be getting remedied soon. Thus here are postings from June 7th - 17th.... AJ


Our posting June 10th is a quote by rock and roll icon, Janis Joplin, who certainly knew the real significance of these words, "Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got".

Janis Joplin was a tragic hero to be sure. Quickly running from an adolescence filled with bullying and mockery, ironically, upon returning to her 10 year high school class reunion determined to prove herself, she found no matter how famous one becomes, there are some boundaries which cannot be crossed without pain and anguish.

Dead at only 27 due to a heroin overdose in 1970, Joplin had fought compromise on every front, truly having only herself in the end. "Janis Joplin has passed into the realm of legend: an outwardly brash yet inwardly vulnerable and troubled personality who possessed one of the most passionate voices in rock history. It could be argued that her legacy has as much to do with her persona as her singing. Music journalist Ellen Wills asserted that 'Joplin belonged to that select group of pop figures who mattered as much for themselves as for their music. Among American rock performers, she was second only to Bob Dylan in importance as a creator-recorder-embodiment of her generation’s mythology'"(rockhall.com).

Compromising "self" is giving up on all OUR needs and desires and to be sure, when we compromise "self" we find unhappiness. As unique individuals, how unfortunate to spend this uniqueness miserable. We are too precious to waste our life on anything other than enjoying what we have to offer the world; our positivity and the personal successes which can inspire others.

Don't compromise who you are. Believe in who you CAN be by BEING who your are.

Keep looking up. AJ



Our reading for June 11th from Allen James' Calendar Books is, "Tell the truth the best you can".

How sad it is we are brought up in a manner where when we tell a lie we grow to believe we are a bad person, a loser, we are not to be trusted, and yes, some even believe they are going to Hell for the little white lie they told as a child.

No one's perfect. We hear this almost on a daily basis as an adult, or we tell ourselves this almost on a daily basis, and for sure it's true. We work each day toward perfection as we age, but as we mentioned in our earlier post a few days ago, we'll never reach it.

And how confusing it is for children we are taught about the ills of lying and then grow to an age of realizing we've been lied to. Today clinical psychologist, Dr. Laura Markham answers a question from about lying to children about about the Tooth Fairy.

In my own training it was drilled into my head in most all of my courses relating to parenting skills the importance of children knowing they can trust their parents to tell them the truth, even about, yes, myths. In other words, when your kids ask if Santa, the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny are real, you should tell them the truth.

Dr. Markham reiterates the difficulty in this for parents. "We may feel we are crushing a belief that our child needs. When my daughter was five years old, she asked me if the tooth fairy was real. When I told her no, she became very angry at me, not because I had lead her to believe that a make-believe character was real, but because she wanted so much for the tooth fairy to be real. I desperately wanted to hedge, so I know how you felt with your son. Somehow I resisted the temptation, and let her cry and rage, not just at the unfair world, but at me. Over and over, I reflected back to her how disappointed she was, and how much she wished the tooth fairy could be real, and how angry she felt at that moment at the world and at me.

My daughter is now twelve, and remembers this incident clearly. She told me recently that she thought that I did the right thing, and that she would have been even angrier at me if I had lied in response to her direct question. Even though she was disappointed that the tooth fairy wasn’t real, she thinks it was better for me to tell her the truth when she wanted to know. But I still recall my own anxiety and internal debate about whether I was doing the right thing" (www.ahaparenting.com).

My approach over the years when parents have brought their child in for my assistance in breaching the topic has been to treat these characters precisely the way I do Mickey Mouse, Winnie the Pooh, and Dora the Explorer: they’re real characters but not real people. When a child tells me Santa has a beard and wears a red suit, I don't have a problem with it, just as true as the facts Winnie the Pooh likes honey and Dora has a friend named Boots. If, on the other hand, the child asks me whether Santa Claus brought him/her a particular present, I say, no, her grandmother bought it. This strikes me as the perfect balance between letting to children and helping them enjoy their childhood and building their trust.

I sometimes make the point no wonder our society has so many who don't believe in Jesus Christ; they find out too late they've been lied to about the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, and the Tooth Fairy....if they're not real, then why should they believe they aren't been lied to about Jesus Christ as well?

Tell the truth the best you can.....and always...keep looking up. AJ




Calendar Books by Allen James' posting for June 12th refers not to one of Allen James' calendar books, but to his first novella...."Reflections".

Beautiful Chelsey Williams is determined to get to her grandparent's from Michigan for the holidays despite finding herself facing a harsh Vermont blizzard. The ailing Volkswagen Beatle she has depended on to travel for so long is no match for the heavy snow and building ice. Losing control of her old friend, the bug, she swerves and is knocked unconscious when she barrels into a snow drift.

Enter Joel Cantrell, an aspiring artist and the man who appears to be everything she's ever wanted; handsome, compassionate, wealthy...yet harboring a horrific secret.

Will she make it home where Granny Mae and Papaw Lincoln are patiently waiting for her arrival so they can give her the news which she shoild have been told years ago, that she...?

You'll have to read the book to find out...

"Reflections" was first published in 1992 through what is called a Vanity Press....or more simply put, through a publisher which the author pays him/herself to publish their book. I was able to do this at the time through the help of "investors" who put up an equal amount of cash as I with the understanding (via contract) they may or may not receive a return on their investment. I had always read to get a publisher one had to already have already been published. This was my "in".

It was a great experience for me; the initial investor party where I presented each with a signed copy of the book to a toast of "champagne" (Sparkling White Grape Juice), then book signings, articles, speaking engagements. It was a whirlwind of activity. My investors received a 16% return of their investment and I my dream to become a published author was realized. I then realized
what I had read about getting picked up by a publishing house had been farce; to get picked up by a publishing house one had to have money and celebrity, neither of which I possessed. In order to publish my second novel, "Midnight Journey", a follow-up to "Reflections", I would have to take the same route as my first novel. The air was let out of my balloon of joy.

Then the years stacked up upon themselves. I continued to write; short stories, novella after novella, poetry, songs, children's books. However the business of day to day life prevented me from focusing on what I enjoyed the most, expressing myself through the written word.

I now find it 20 years later, I pick up where I left off; however the world of publishing has changed drastically with the advancements in technology. "Reflections" is to be released as a 2nd edition in the spring of 2014 with a new cover and edited here and there. Following soon after my children's book, "Crystal the Condor Makes Friends" and is already being considered by the National Parks System for placement in select National Parks' gift stores. "Blue Hydrangea" is scheduled for release in the fall of 2014 with "The End" slated for release in the spring of 2015.

Sounds like a long time off, but we all know as adults how time does literally fly past us. I look forward to the journey and having you along with me.

Keep looking up. : ) AJ






Welcome to the new week....was certainly a beautiful weekend in Southeast Missouri with temperatures remaining in the "tolerable" range (which for me means the mid 80s). I didn't post much over the weekend to give a respite to those who are so dedicated to "LIKE"ing and "SHARE"ing my posts. However a new week is upon us and we do have a message of thinking and living in a more positive manner and sharing our personal successes. So here goes.... : )

Calendar Books by Allen James reading for June 17th from "The Journey: A Calendar Book"..."Don't ignore that child you were, He/she's still there and needs love".

All of us recognize this down deep in our beings. We often yearn to be the child we once were but realize the adult world puts too much responsibility upon us for us to allow our child self any time.

In my private practice I utilize a technique known as Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP); neuro meaning mind and linguistic meaning language. Within this technique those with whom I work and implement NLP are able to reprogram their brains to make more appropriate choices in their lives. I've seen it benefit a multitude of individuals in making better grades, ceasing smoking, losing weight and overcoming phobias.

One aspect of the NLP allows patients to see their child self clearly and spending some quality time reacquainting themselves with this child self. It's comforting to watch the reunification of this "child" who defines so much of who we are as adults and embracing him/her again.

It's a highly held belief men never grow up; we remain forever entrenched in our adolescence. Why might this be? It's as well a well known fact boys mature 2-3 years behind girls. Could it be possible females like this attribute of males, until they lose communion with their child self, then they loose the connection as to why it was they loved in the first place?

Questions which will continue to go unanswered. Don't forget the child within.....he/she is still there and desperately needs your love.

Keep looking up. AJ





Welcome to the new week....was certainly a beautiful weekend in Southeast Missouri with temperatures remaining in the "tolerable" range (which for me means the mid 80s). I didn't post much over the weekend to give a respite to those who are so dedicated to "LIKE"ing and "SHARE"ing my posts. However a new week is upon us and we do have a message of thinking and living in a more positive manner and sharing our personal successes. So here goes.... : )

Calendar Books by Allen James reading for June 17th from "The Journey: A Calendar Book"..."Don't ignore that child you were, He/she's still there and needs love".

All of us recognize this down deep in our beings. We often yearn to be the child we once were but realize the adult world puts too much responsibility upon us for us to allow our child self any time.

In my private practice I utilize a technique known as Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP); neuro meaning mind and linguistic meaning language. Within this technique those with whom I work and implement NLP are able to reprogram their brains to make more appropriate choices in their lives. I've seen it benefit a multitude of individuals in making better grades, ceasing smoking, losing weight and overcoming phobias.

One aspect of the NLP allows patients to see their child self clearly and spending some quality time reacquainting themselves with this child self. It's comforting to watch the reunification of this "child" who defines so much of who we are as adults and embracing him/her again.

It's a highly held belief men never grow up; we remain forever entrenched in our adolescence. Why might this be? It's as well a well known fact boys mature 2-3 years behind girls. Could it be possible females like this attribute of males, until they lose communion with their child self, then they loose the connection as to why it was they loved in the first place?

Questions which will continue to go unanswered. Don't forget the child within.....he/she is still there and desperately needs your love.

Keep looking up. AJ

Daily Reading - Allen James' Daily Guide to Success series - Postings for June 6th - 10th

 

 

June 6th

Again I say...thanks for your patience with my postings. I'm having to jump from computer to computer; where I live out in the country doesn't provide service so I have to use my phone to post, which prevents me from sharing postings to Goodreads.

Calendar Books by Allen James daily reading for June 6th from "The Journey: A Calendar Book"..."When you think of an invention that sounds like a best seller, think again before acting on it".

I personally find today's reading to be pretty hilarious (Although I don't hear the sound of throngs of laughter from my audience). I was talking with an old friend last night and our discussion went to events which took place over 20 years ago. As we talked about how the experiences of years past mold us into who we become, I couldn't help but think how unfortunate it is many of the "experiential lessons" we learn through the "school of hard knocks" seem to never be given a 2nd opportunity to be applied.

However, there are times when our decision making skills can be kept in check simply by "thinking again". Through the years I've had numerous "great ideas" for inventions, none of which I'll name here for fear someone will take it and run with it... A friend of mine, we'll call Jim, and I use to sit out on my back deck and come up with invention after invention which we KNEW would be a best seller, only to never follow through with their development.

But there was a time when I decided to do just this, to follow through. I developed the idea all the way through to the creation of a prototype of the item. I then contacted the location of the "Got an Invention?" office in St. Louis and set up an appointment to see them. On the day of the appointment I drove all the way up to West Port, got out of the car, walked up to the entrance of the building, and then turned around and went home. I had chickened out. I had enough time on the drive up to "rethink" my idea and talk myself into believing it was all about getting money out of me (they were going to charge me $350.00 to even consider my idea).

Was it best to turn around and leave? More than likely; two years later I saw my exact item on a blockbuster movie at the theater. I'm sure it took more than two years for it to go from thought to product creation; someone else had already thought of the idea and developed it before I.

The point? Always think things through. Check out your options. Research your avenues. Don't expend time and energy when it can be spent in activity more productive.

Keep looking up. AJ


June 7th



Calendar Books by Allen James' reading for June 7th from "The Journey: A Calendar Book"....

"Know who you really are, then try your best to fake everyone out".

Let's face it, no matter how much we know ourselves or no matter how positive our self-image is, there are still aspects about ourselves we would like to improve or we don't like.

When we tout we don't care what others think about us we're lying to ourselves. These aren't negative attributes at all. Continuing to better ourselves is important in working toward personal success. It keeps us on our toes.

Maslov's "Hierarchy of Needs" tops out at self-actualization", or in other words, enlightenment or perfection. I don't believe we can get there in this existence.

Certainly we strive to attain it, but reaching self-actualization would mean we have nothing more to attain. We would become complacent, thus stagnant.

When we accept this and really know ourselves, we can then model who we wish to attain to be. "Faking everyone out" is surely putting it blunt....but this the reality. Accepting who we are requires being truly honest with ourselves.

As Shakespeare said in so many words, the world is a stage, we are but actors in it.

Be true to yourself....and always....keep looking up. AJ



June 8th



Our reading for June 8th from Allen James' "The Journey: A Calendar Book"....

"Be aware of those with whom you work".

We spend the majority of our lives at work....2nd to the time we spend sleeping (such a travesty), thus being very aware of our co-workers helps immensely in our journey to personal success.

As I've stated before, there aren't too many people with whom I can't get along, but there have been three times in my life where a single co-worker has created a work environment where it has been a challenge to say the least.

Trust has always come easy for me, possibly to a fault. I've learned the difficult way to make sure I tread lightly around co-workers.

Low self-image and feelings of inadequacy can encourage those co-workers who seem to think competition is a standard in the workplace to spread their unhappiness like a virus.

I've found the best way to handle this situation is to just do my job. Being affable and getting through the day sometimes is my only life saver.

Certainly I'm not saying I'm miserable at work, the opposite is usually true. I love what I do and the fruits of my labor. I just am aware much more these days of the fact bullying does't cease after adolescence.

Be aware of those of with whom you work. Know the "good guys" from the "bad guys", then steer clear of the bad guys and always strive to be one of the good guys. Personal success comes no other way.

Keep looking up AJ


June 9th


Calendar Books by Allen James' reading for June 9th...from our featured calendar book for 2013, "The Journey", "Sleep under the quilt your mother made by hand for you".

Allen James' calendar books are intended to encourage positivity and to support the reader's journey to personal success, thus are to be interpreted in a personal manner by each reader.

I emphasize this because today's reading could easily get a response such as, "My mother never made a quilt for me". A personal interpretation would look at it from the point of view we should cherish those things significant others did for us out of love, whatever they be.
I recall when I was a child sleeping under a quilt my grandmother hand made for her grandchildren. I don't know when she gave them, whether as birthday presents, Christmas gifts, or just because she knew we needed warmth in the cold of Kentucky winters; but I certainly remember the warmth they provided.

People just don't quilt by hand much these days. Which is what makes today's reading even more special to me.

At 61 my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. She was given 6 months to live. For the year prior to her diagnosis she spent every evening sitting in "Momma's chair" piecing together material swatches and then quilting those swatches into quilts. No one knew she was ill, not even she. Yet it was as if instinctively Mom was aware her days were numbered.

That Christmas she gave as gifts quilts she had sewed by her own hands to each of her 6 children, as well as one for my girlfriend at the time.

What a gift. A mother's love. A symbol of the warmth she had always provided and the comfort she wished to provide even long after she was no longer with us.

When I sleep under Mom's quilt I can but imagine with each stitch her nimble fingers working diligently to complete each quilt for her beloved children.

She passed away the next March. This symbol of her compassion will bring me warmth and comfort for years to come. Almost 20 years later I still sleep under the quilt my mother made by hand for me. Life truly does continue after death.

What's your special something which memorializes your loved one?

Keep looking up. AJ



June 10th

Our posting today is a quote by rock and roll icon, Janis Joplin, who certainly knew the real significance of these words, "Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got".

Janis Joplin was a tragic hero to be sure. Quickly running from an adolescence filled with bullying and mockery, ironically, upon returning to her 10 year high school class reunion determined to prove herself, she found no matter how famous one becomes, there are some boundaries which cannot be crossed without pain and anguish.

Dead at only 27 due to a heroin overdose in 1970, Joplin had fought compromise on every front, truly having only herself in the end. "Janis Joplin has passed into the realm of legend: an outwardly brash yet inwardly vulnerable and troubled personality who possessed one of the most passionate voices in rock history. It could be argued that her legacy has as much to do with her persona as her singing. Music journalist Ellen Wills asserted that 'Joplin belonged to that select group of pop figures who mattered as much for themselves as for their music. Among American rock performers, she was second only to Bob Dylan in importance as a creator-recorder-embodiment of her generation’s mythology'"(rockhall.com).

Compromising "self" is giving up on all OUR needs and desires and to be sure, when we compromise "self" we find unhappiness. As unique individuals, how unfortunate to spend this uniqueness miserable. We are too precious to waste our life on anything other than enjoying what we have to offer the world; our positivity and the personal successes which can inspire others.

Don't compromise who you are. Believe in who you CAN be by BEING who your are.

Keep looking up. : ) AJ

 

 

Daily Reading - Allen James' Daily Guide to Success series - June 4th and 5th

Calendar Books by Allen James' reading for June 4th from "The Journey: A Calendar Book"..."Text the ones about whom you care about keeping in contact".

Texting has, in many ways, made communication easier by helping people avoid long, unpl...easant phone conversations and making a quick “Hello” much easier. According to the Pew Research Center, 72% of teenagers text regularly, and one in three sends more than 100 texts per day. Clearly, texting is the preferred method of communication among young people, and the trend is moving upward toward adults, who are also texting much more frequently. While texting hasn’t been around long enough for researchers to study its long-term effects on communication, there is circumstantial evidence it is rapidly altering the ways people communicate with one another both via text and in person.

People keep talking about how little time they have and how they can’t live without their cell phones; but, if you simply watch people on the street, you’ll see cell phone calling and texting has become an addiction. How can you tell?

Consider the constant chatter – one call after another or the constant texting – an hour long trip in the passenger seat while on a extended trip is completely consumed by texting! Friends become like an estranged couple sitting in a restaurant, saying not a word throughout their meal. And it’s not just one person, it’s not only a certain age group – it’s amazing how one gadget which was suppose to save time is actually eating up people’s time at an incredible rate!

Is it connecting? Perhaps. At some level, it’s connecting; at another level it’s just another way to shut out the world. Gauge the reactions – if the cell phone dies, there are two reactions:

“I’m lost” look – what am I going to do with myself now?
Anger – a raging look appears on their faces and they become very agitated
It doesn’t take a psychiatrist or psychologist to understand the reaction.

Although texting is a useful form of communication, people are blatantly turning away from traditional means of communication and taking the simpler-less emotionally involved-route and choosing to send text rather than talk to a real person. A live interaction, where tone, diction, and rhetoric can be understood so much more than by a text. A teenage boy would much rather flirt and have a DTR over texting instead of in person. The same guy 20 years ago may not have had the luxury of texting would have had to learn to face his fears of rejection or failure and call up the girl and ask the difficult questions.

Texting takes away fear, and all you have left are those who perhaps may be more emotionally immature and overly confident in private, but severely lacking in the kind of self confidence it takes to talk to someone live. Taking the dating scenario out of the equation, people say things quicker without the reaction of the other person to give them emotional cues needed to re-evaluate what they are going to say before it comes out wrong. Texting cuts out nonverbal communication. Unfortunately. Texting curtails the human experience of reading people, of language, of existing in an authentic and genuine relationship. It will be interesting what texting will effect in the next 20 years as far as divorce rates. Those would be stats worth evaluating.

Text the ones about whom you care about keeping in contact....and watch your time texting diminish and your time in a worth while activity increase.

Keep looking up. AJ

 

 

 

 

What a beautiful day it is in Southeast Missouri. My hopes are you get the opportunity to get out in the bright sunshine and enjoy it some today.

Our reading for June 5th comes from "A Man's Daily Guide to Success"..."When you get an idea... in the middle of the night and you can't sleep, get up and write it down".

Many of you are like I and had to learn the "hard" way the importance of getting up and writing down a "great" idea you've had in the middle of the night. Too many times when a "great" idea has awakened me I've made a mental note to write it down when I get up the next morning, yet when I get up I can't recall the specifics of my "great" idea.

However, many of my "great" ideas have come from such a situation. I finally began keeping pen/paper, then later a small recorder on the nightstand beside my bed; and now with the advancements of cell phones, I can just reach over and leave myself a audio text for the following day. When one of those "great" ideas awakens me through the night I can return to sleep knowing it's there to be worked with when I can take the time to do so.

Case in point, about 17 years ago I had a dream which I awoke from in the middle of the night which I could see as a children's book. I immediately sat up and reached for the pen/paper and wrote it down. The next day I developed the story and recruited an art student (I was a school counselor in Fredericktown Missouri at the time) whom I knew was always up for a challenge, and asked him if he would like to draw the illustrations for the story. A few days later he returned with rough drawings of the characters for the children's book; they looked exactly as I had envisioned them in my dream (talk about a sign...I knew my dream was meant to become a published children's book).

Now, 17 years later my "great" idea, my dream, is about to become a reality as a published children's book entitled "Crystal the Condor Makes Friends", which I'll be posting a mock-up page from my rough draft of following this posting. (Now if I can just find the student who completed the illustrations to get his approval to use his illustrations.)

"Seventeen years later?" Remember, it's takes millions of years for a piece of coal to become the much sought after beauty of a diamond. Our "great" ideas, our dreams, are similar. Many times it takes years before we see them develop into the reality which we initially envisioned them.

Our personal success is built from these intermittent "great" ideas. Remaining committed to them and persevering to the point of their creation is the key.

So when you have an idea in the middle of the night which keeps you awake, get up and write it down...and as always...keep looking up. AJ

(More about "Crystal the Condor Makes Friends" to come.)

Weekend's Posting - Daily Readings - Allen James' Daily Guide to Success series - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

Sorry this didn't get posted over the weekend...the computer from where I was writing had Blogspot blocked. : (

   

Calendar Books by Allen James' reading for May 30th is a striking quote from American child and adult actor, Mickey Rooney..."You always pass failure on the way to success".

I had a failure today, however experiencing failure doesn't mean ...we aren't succeeding. Remember, personal success is success which WE deem as success...not necessarily success as the world defines it.

We all know the journey to personal success is not a simple journey. Our journey is filled with paths difficult to travel and many times are filled with potholes and rough terrain. Many times we find ourselves at roadblocks and fork in the road. It’s always easier to take the nearest exit and turn back. However I could not live with myself knowing I didn’t try my best and "keep on trucking".

When you just feel like giving up, always remember your goal and what it means to you. Motivate yourself by taking encouragement from others. Look to others who are well on their way to personal success. They as well have experienced similar roadblocks.

Always....keep looking up. See More

AJ

Our May 31st reading from "The Journey: A Calendar Book"...."When someone is talking about you, someone else is getting a rest".

I've learned the "hard" way to work to put a positive spin on everything in my life. Today's reading is one s...uch situation. It may appear my aim is to become a personal martyr for the "little guy", but in reality I'm externalizing a negative self-image, thus empowering myself and accepting the fact when people aren't happy with themselves, they MUST find error in others. I can do nothing to change their flaw. All I can do is not take it personal and forge ahead with my life.

Throughout my years in private practice, numerous individuals complained about how others would stare at them as they walked down the street or through a mall. They just knew they were saying negative things about them. They just knew they were being judged. They just knew something was WRONG with them. I would simply say to them, "Once those individuals who may or may not be judging you pass beyond you and you are out of their sights, someone else in in their sights and YOU are the farthest thing from their mind".

People are going to do, think, and say what people are going to do, think, and say. Allowing their foibles to take up your time becomes one of your foibles.

Ignore these lapses of paranoia and liberate yourself. Truly embrace yourself. Like who you are. These moments of self-doubt strengthen you if you allow them to. It's your choice.

Keep looking up. : ) AJ

 

 

For June 1st from "The Journey : A Calendar Book", our reading is "Go hiking when you can".

Although the premise continues to focus on getting out and experiencing life in whatever way best suits you, hiking is an ideal activity to "exper...ience" life.

As I've written before, at 40 I was gifted an extreme hike into the mountains of Oregon. The experience invigorated me and opened my eyes to the transformation which can take place when we allow ourselves the opportunity.

I mentioned Lee's Bluff last weekend; a bluff which holds a beautiful view of the river winding around curves of wooded inlets, sand covered "beachlets", and ideal camping spots.

Atop the bluff one experiences the freedom which comes from standing and "taking it all in". On the "beachlet" below one realizes the comfort which comes while lying in a hammock strung between two Cypress or the comradeship squatting around a crackling campfire with friends can bring.

Although I don't get to experience these activities often, when I do I hold them as special times which bring positive outcomes and positive feelings; times which are vital components to personal success.

Go hiking when you can. Endulge yourself in your own experience.

Keep looking up.See More

AJ

Our reading for June 2nd from "The Journey: A Calendar Book"...."Read another good book".

In the late 80s a regular commercial slogan heard on television during peak child viewing hours was "Reading is FUNdamental". How true this statem...ent is. While reading is fundamental to our understanding of much of the world in which we live and work, reading can also be FUN.

When we select carefully what we choose to read for pleasure we can be swept away into a time and place of our liking. Don't have the time or money to travel to far away lands? Find a copy or download Arabian Nights or one of Louis L'amour's titles. Wanting to learn more about history of civilization? Browse around your favorite bookstore or online for The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire.

Whatever your interests, reading is the key to your understanding. I prefer suspense and drama. Presently I'm reading Mary Higgins Clark's latest, "The Lost Years" and Dan Brown's, "Inferno", plenty of suspense and drama to cap off my evenings.

Name your poison....make time to feed your brain.

Keep looking up.See More

AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James reading for June 3rd from "The Journey: A Calendar Book", "Be flexible/versatile".

When we hear the word "flexible" most think of yoga poses or Pilates positions instead of our thoughts and actions. My sister...-in-law is an occupational therapist in a school district in Kentucky and has a regular Pilate routine she completes each night to keep her bones and muscles in the best working order they can be since much of her day is spent sitting at a desk or on the floor cross legged working with small children. She says it work wonders on her 61 year old body. What if we would apply the same idea, mind Pilates to our brains?

We can. If we practice the concept of "living consciously" I've written about in previous readings , we can maintan an agile mind which will elevate our life experience and help us live more resilient, creative, happy lives.

Rigid, “black and white” thinking can help to eliminate some stress-producing details, says Eric Maisel, Ph.D., author of Brainstorm: Harnessing the Power of Productive Obsessions and numerous other books.

“But that doesn’t make us deep thinkers or creative. It doesn’t allow us to deal with problems easily when they arrive,” he says. “Rigid thinking does help us make quick decisions about things, but it is not suited to help us with our lifestyle.”

A more agile mindset allows us to evaluate and adjust to the different jobs, roles and responsibilities we have each day. Sometimes it works to be more rigid, to follow specific rules; sometimes it’s better to be more open and loose, Maisel says.

Mental agility is also related to our perceptions, emotions, actions and motivations. A change of environment, attitude or behavior will also influence how we think. When we’re feeling happy or optimistic, for example, we tend toward broad and inclusive thinking. Fear narrows our focus down to specific details. When we’re able to make the mental shift without remaining stuck in a particular mindset, we’re demonstrating mental flexibility.

“We all vary in how mentally agile we are from moment to moment and day to day,” Koutstaal says. “Sometimes we can be very flexible, but at other times we can get surprisingly ‘stuck’ and become quite rigid or impervious to information that we really should take into account.”

A flexible mindset moves us away from limiting thought patterns to a place of openness and possibility. In those moments, when you are feeling stuck, worn out by the regular routine or caught in old habits and repetitive patterns, you can adapt your thinking and behavior in a way which will inspire you and boost your resilience and your chance at success.

Work on "thinking outside of the box". When you find yourself in a situation in which you know what your typical reaction would be, think of a new/different way to respond. Keep your mind always alert by presenting it with new/different stimuli.

Be flexible/versatile.....and....keep looking up. See More

AJ