Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

Learn more about Allen James' mission of personal success, browse/preview/purchase any of his publications at:

www.jamesharryman2002.wix.com/allenjamesbooks or
www.lulu.com/spotlight/allenjames1961

Our August 29th reading from The Journey: A Calendar Book reads,

"Follow your dreams" (James, 2012).

For personal success to become reality, we MUST follow our dreams.  Of course I not talking about attempting to make our nocturnal wanderings within our psyche become reality, but those aspirations we've developed over the years which we work toward possessing the propensity to become at some point.

To do this we must begin early in our lives at attaining the skills, drive, ability, and mind set to work those toward become "real" in lieu of desire.

All too often we have been conditioned to believe, thus DO believe, dreams are those aspirations which are just out of reach;  those aspirations which will always remain just this, DREAMS.  However; dreams CAN become real.  How can be be best prepared to achieve our dreams? 

First, we must BELIEVE it is even possible.

So often we think of dreams as things most people don’t get to do—luxuries reserved for people who are privileged, wealthy, or well connected.
It’s true some people have more advantages than others. What takes one person five years of planning and saving may require another to do little more than sell a stock and make a call.
It’s also true the second person may have worked incredibly long for said stock. The point is: We’re all starting from different places, for different reasons, with different levels of work required to get from A to B.

If our dream is something we're physically incapable of doing, it may be improbable (but not impossible—we’ve come a long way with technology!) And there’s no denying certain dreams are more difficult to achieve than others.  But most of the things we dream about are things we could do if we were willing to work toward it, align our choices to support it, and stay flexible in terms of fulfilling it.

We don’t need to believe it will be easy, or it will happen quickly, or it will look exactly like initially visualized. We just need to believe in the possibility, which really means us need to believe in ourselves.

Second, we must take baby steps to work toward it.

Working toward it entails aligning with the appropriate individuals, disregarding discouragement from people who don’t support our growth, and taking tiny steps each day to move toward our vision.
“The appropriate individuals” are those who help us, support us, encourage us, believe in us, and guide us on our way to this dream. It may include people who have attained a similar dream as we, people who also want to do it, and even people who just plain find it cool.  We must share our enthusiasm and progress with them. They will help keep us excited and help us stick remain dedicated to our plan.

As for those people who don’t support our growth, there will be many of them, and they most likely won’t be malicious. They’ll be well-meaning people who aren’t able to do step one for themselves, and, therefore, think they’re doing us a favor by discouraging us. Politely decline the favor.
Their words may seem to keep us down, but it is how WE internalize them which holds us back.
And as for taking consistent steps, they really can be tiny. It may not seem like much to make a call, bookmark a site, or send an email, but the little things add up over time—and because they’re easily doable, each one may inspire us to do more.

Third, make choices which support it.

Much of our experience stems from our choices. Not all of it; there are some things we can’t control.
This isn’t a suggestion if we make all the appropriate choices, everything will line up and magically work out. It is just the fact we have more power than we often realize—and our power lies in our choices.  Whatever the dream, the first choice is to prioritize it. As we’re able, we have to consciously dedicate time to it, money to it, attention to it, love to it. Give what everything we can, as we can, and back the giving with belief, passion, and enthusiasm.

The other side of this coin is realizing which choices don’t support our dream—when we’re doing too much or pursuing other dreams which conflict.

Finally, we must remain flexible about how we’ll fulfill our dream.

It’s tempting to be rigid about a dream—when it needs to happen, how it needs to happen, and who it needs to include. But sometimes when we’re too busy clinging to a specific vision, we miss an opportunity to experience it in different shades. This isn’t meant to discourage us from reaching for the stars. It is just a reminder; there are many more than we may realize, some far closer than others.
Being a singer may include a jazz club, not a fan-packed stadium. Writing a book may entail self-publishing, not a six-figure advance. And traveling may include teaching abroad or a string of budget bed-and-breakfasts—I know, because this time around, I’ve self-published!

They may not be the ultimate dream, but they are, in fact, reflections of it, and in the moment when we’re doing something inspired, passionate, and in line with our deepest intentions, we'll feel two things we may not have realized weren’t exclusive to one specific vision:

We’ll feel alive and we'll feel proud.

And now, two final thoughts on making dreams come true: know no dream is better than any other, and stay open to the possibility our dream may change.

Regarding the first part, our dream may not seem big or romantic. It doesn’t need to be. It is an extension of our unique values and priorities, it must matter to us.  As for the second part, sometimes we attach to dreams simply because we’ve held them for so long. It’s the sunk-cost principle: After we’ve invested a large amount of time, energy, or money, it is more difficult to consider walking away.

But if our priorities have changed, you may no longer want it. Accepting this isn’t a sign of weakness or defeat. It’s growth, and the wisdom to enable it.  Of course, there’s also the possibility our dream may have changed in a smaller way.

Follow your dreams, they are attainable;  we possess the power to make them happen.  Keep looking up.  : )  AJ

(tinybuddha.com)

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

"Keep and open mind" (James, 2012).

Henry Bergson, a major French philosopher, influential especially in the first half of the 20th century, stated, “The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend” Keeping an open mind seems to be one of the most tasks we encounter in today's world. Being open to everyone and everything which crosses our paths, allowing ourselves to embrace different possibilities, opportunities, people, views, suggestions and interests turns out to be something most just don't WANT to deal with.
In such a diverse world, we must practice being unprejudiced, without stubbornness and flexible at all times.

Although difficult, I attempt to practice this in every situation, and it can be fun to practice. Trying to understand someone’s point of view, even if we disagree or don’t like the person very much, can change and free our mind in a way we would have never expected.  Certainly I'm not claiming to have mastered this skill, but I do see great improvement; it makes me feel powerful having the ability to change my way of thinking and not to get stuck in a mindset which only frustrates, angers. or causes me to choose to feel helpless.

It doesn’t mean I believe or accept everything, but I do listen, observe, feel, and tr0y to comprehend every situation on my path.

Here are a several ways to keep an open mind and how to benefit:


- Comprehension
Try to understand, sympathize and make sense of someone else's story, opinion or response. Learn to see things from his or her point of view. Keep in mind the history, education, childhood, upbringing and life circumstances of the other person.  We don’t always need an answer or a solution, but it will help us find peace with ourselves and others.

- Black or white
There are times we are convinced we are 100 percent correct and someone else is not. Keep an open mind, considering we might be wrong after all, even if we think we are not. We may have overlooked something, not know all the details; life is not always black or white.

- Interpretation
How do we come across to people? We may be positive we're right, gentle, sincere, clear and tactful, but this doesn’t always mean others perceive or interpret us the same . Listen to people.

- Information
Be open to all information. Be interested in new, old, odd, less obvious insights. Read different books, magazines and blogs. We mustn't limit ourselves. Learn to love to learn new things and not base our opinions on the judgement of someone else.  Be blank, open, unprejudiced to everything we read. At the same time we don’t need to be naive or believe everything. Just be interested, observe different angles, learn from it and leave it open for discussion. Never think we know, because we don’t. The moment we think we know something for sure, we are limiting ourselves.
Start today and practice the examples above in the following situations:
- Standing in line of the supermarket
- In traffic
- In waiting rooms
- Calling a help desk
- At the doctor’s
- talking with colleagues.
- When you are impatient.

- Challenges
Try new ways of challenging. Be open to other possibilities and opportunities. When we step out of our comfort zones we are able to discover and try different a myriad of new experiences, expand our horizons. We will never know what beautiful things are hidden around the corner which may change and upgrade our lives without doing so.

- Relationships
We are all different human beings even if we think we have met our soul mates. In a relationship disagreements are inevitable, but the key is how we go about it.  There is no use in letting our ego speak in the middle of a (verbal) fight. It simply doesn’t work. Be calm and don’t be tempted to argue. Sometimes silence is golden. Save healthy discussion for a time when we are both in quiet and peaceful waters.  We must always consider the emotional state of being of our partner. Maybe we want to talk about stuff but our partner might be in another zone worrying or thinking about issues, family, children, friends, work or tasks. We both might be in another zone. Give each other room to breath.  Consider our partner might be tired, frustrated, stressed out, helpless, hopeless or scared.
Keep an open mind, especially when we are tired or stressed out ourselves.

Be patient.
Don’t expect.
Be lighthearted and easygoing.
Discover the beauty and power of keeping an open mind. It will change and make life easier and more interesting!

“We all operate in two contrasting modes, which might be called open and closed. The open mode is more relaxed, more receptive, more exploratory, more democratic, more playful and more humorous. The closed mode is the tighter, more rigid, more hierarchical, more tunnel-visioned. Most people, unfortunately spend most of their time in the closed mode.” ~ John Cleese 

Keep an open mind...and....always...keep looking up.   : )  AJ 

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

 

Learn more about Allen James' mission of personal success through a lifestyle of positivity, browse/preview/purchase the Calendar Book which fits you best at either of the following sites and save 25% (pass the middle man of amazon.com and barnesandnobel.com where prices are higher):

www.jamesharryman2002.wix.com/allenjamesbooks 

www.lulu.com/spotlight/allenjames1961

For August 27th from The Journey: A Calendar Book, Allen James writes:

"Save for your golden years" (James, 2012).

Hum.....when exactly are those "Golden Years" these days?  Great question.  Regardless, the lesson here is SAVE when possible.  In today's world this has become more and more difficult to do.  We have been told by "financial planning experts" we should ALWAYS have 6 months of employment pay put back for "emergency funds".  For most of us EVERY day is an emergency.  Six months of our income would be laughable for the majority of us.  I know it would be impossible for me to put back 6 months of my monthly income for "emergency funds".  Most of us barely have enough left after expenditures to buy necessities.

With retirement becoming an ever more elusive DATE on our calendars, saving for it seems futile.  I am reminded of the myth telling of King Sisyphus who is damned by Zeus to roll a boulder up a hill and then let it roll down the other side JUST to have to do it again, for eternity.  This is what the majority of us feel we do day in and day out;  work our lives away just to do it day in and day out, and for what?  A retirement in our "Golden Years" which does not exist in the 21st century?

Those "Golden Days of Retirement" are history.  The retirement we may have witnessed our grandparents or our great-grandparents enjoy are gone forever.  Many can't even depend on the pensions to which they paid in for years, POOF....they're taken away with little or no explanation.  So how can we save.

Several years ago I heard on a radio program where an individual stopped paying for items with dollar bills.  Over 8 years he had accumulated over $30,000.  I started at full throttle; only paying for daily spending with $5, $10, or $20 bills, never spending a $1.  Over 4 years of this I had accrued $8,000.  There was a need for the savings and it was there, thankfully.  Wise task if it can be accomplished.  Might try it again.

One way to begin putting back or saving money includes the 52 Week Challenge: Here's how it works:

 For example, there are 52 weeks in a year. So each week you deposit the number of the week that we are in a savings account. For example this is the 1st week of 2013, so you will deposit $1.00 into your savings account. Next week will be Week 2, so you will deposit $2, and so on. The biggest amount you will deposit is $52.00 and that will be the very last week of 2014. Now isn’t that simple and easy?! There’s no club to join, no pyramids, meetings, schemes, none of that crap that “Ain’t Nobody Got Time For”! You are investing in yourself! I’m going to do it and I’m excited about. This is the year where we have to put the time and work in so that we can have different results. I don’t want to get to the end of this year and can’t see, feel, or be the change in the words of  LaTrice Pace.

(allthingmw.com)

We have been urged to be good stewards of our money.  Personal success depends on our being wise about all things in our lives.  

Save for your golden years, and as always, keep looking up.  : )  AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

 

Allen James' reading for August 26th, taken from The Journey: A Calendar Book, becomes an integral aspect of personal success in our world today;

"Care about your appearance" (James, 2012).

Francis Scott Fitzgerald, in his 1920s classic novel, The Great Gatsby, states through the character of Jay Gatsby, a "self-made" success, "Clothes make the man" (1926).  We certainly realize in today's world of Facebook "attire faux paus" posted daily from local Walmart stores the impression our appearance has on those around us and our own expression of personal success.  In addition, not only does what we wear affect our journey to personal success, but our personal hygiene as well.

Our guest blogger today is Chris MacLeod, a man in his early thirties from Canada. He started SucceedSocially.com in late 2006 and writes everything on it himself, doing his best to do all the other little tasks required to keep it running. In today's blog he covers his own experience of being socially awkward when he was younger, and then discusses his education, plus some other assorted thoughts.

Putting more thought into our appearance is one of the easiest ways to improve our social prospects and the way people see us. It falls under the broader category of non-verbal communication. Unless we're really likable as a person, many people will have a difficult time looking past a sloppy exterior. And why not live up to our appearance's full potential?

Most people are pretty superficial and mentally lazy when they size others up. When others look at us and we appear as if we have our act together, they can't help but assume we actually do have our act together. The opposite is true too, if we don't look "together", people will attribute all kinds of negative traits to us. But when we clean up our look, suddenly we don't seem so bad, and everyone is more willing to give us a chance, even though we're the same person deep down.

Today's blog makes reference to the kinds of good grooming and dressing which cuts across all social groups and identities. Sometimes certain ways of dressing or styling ourselves are central to a tribe we belong to. I'm not saying everyone has to adopt a standardized 'fashionable' uniform. I'm more talking about just looking the best we possibly can, whatever our scene is, and not selling ourselves short.

For some people improving their appearance can have a drastic effect on their social lives. As an example, several times I've heard anecdotes from people regarding the impact of losing a great amount of weight. Right or wrong, when they got in better shape everyone started treating them much, much better. They realized:

For years I couldn't seem to get anywhere with people, even though I considered myself someone who made an effort to be personable and friendly. I got pretty depressed and wondered what was wrong with me. Then I lost the weight, and it became clear that my only problem in the past was that I was fat, and people weren't giving me a chance because of it. Now they suddenly think I'm likable and worth knowing, even though I'm the same person.

I won't lie, stories like this can make one lose faith in our fellow man, but it does drive home how much outward appearances play a role in social situations.

The two levels of improving your look

When I talk about looking better, there are two degrees of this. The first is to just start looking half-decent and eliminate any blatant appearance-related mistakes. I'd have a difficult time arguing someone shouldn't at least do this. There aren't any downsides at all to it.

The second level would be to put the effort into becoming more fashionable than average. There are many benefits to doing this, but it takes more work. We have to learn about clothes and style, devote time to shopping, and possibly spend more money.

A few basic tips for guys on looking better:

Below I'll list some basic tips and things to avoid (geared towards guys, since I am one), but really, this almost isn't necessary. Once we start devoting even a little thought to our appearance, we'll very quickly notice and correct all these ourselves:

Basic grooming

It feels condescending to write these out, but I suppose I should anyway:

• Groom facial hair: Avoid the patchy beard, long black mustache hairs, or chin pube goatee. Pluck the uni-brow. Tame the eyebrows if they're really thick and bushy.
• Brush and floss teeth regularly.
• Always be conscious of halitosis (bad breath). I find using a tongue scraper after brushing my teeth works well.
• Wash hair regularly enough if doesn't look super greasy.
• Take care of skin.
• Trim fingernails and toenails on a regular basis, and clean the dirt out from under them.
• Always wear deodorant.
• Shower or bathe at least once a day.
• Pay attention to little details like keeping ears clean, or ear/nose hair trimmed, or not having a mole with a single distracting long hair growing out of it.

Basic dressing

Again, a list of stereotypical mistakes:

• Don't wear the same outfit two days or more in a row.
• Don't wear a similar, uninspired outfit every day (i.e., a dull black t-shirt with jeans.)
• Don't keep wearing clothes after they've become ratty or faded.
• Don't wear clothes which are overly wrinkled.
• Don't keep wearing an item if it has been dirtied or stained.
• Don't wear shirts too big and baggy, or too small and tight.
• Don't wear white socks with dark shoes and vice versa.
• Don't wear socks with sandals.

Basic Appearance

• Find a haircut which "fits. This might involve growing it out or cutting it much shorter. Good looking hair can be the cornerstone of an attractive appearance.
• If wearing glasses, consider getting contacts. They're not as expensive or high-maintenance as one may think. At the very least, make sure to get some stylish frames. Glasses suit some people, but just as many would be better off without them.
• Great teeth don't come natural to everyone, they can always be whitened or straightened. Of course, I realize this isn't something anyone can cheaply do in five minutes.
• Get in shape, this doesn't mean huge, shredded muscles. If someone is fit for their natural frame people subconsciously pick up on it and think they look better. Subtle differences in things like the size of chest muscles, the width of shoulders, or the V-shape in our torso show through. Don't think our only options are lifting weights or running on a treadmill either. There are a plethora of activities we can do which encourage fitness. Take up rock climbing, or kick boxing, or dancing, or Ultimate Frisbee. Pick something which is personally enjoyable and isn't an unnecessary hassle to take part in. If we truly don't like doing something, or it's just a pain, we'll quit before long.
• Tanning is controversial because of the increased risk of skin cancer, so it is a personal decision here whether to do it or not. I think the idea here is more about not looking so pale we glow in the dark, rather than trying to turn our skin a deep brown.

Some advice on getting better clothes

Having decent clothes is one of the biggest factors in looking better. It's also a bit more complicated than vowing to take good care of our skin. I clearly can not recommend specific styles, or stores, or labels. I'm not enough of a fashion maven to get away with doing this anyway. Here are just some more general pointers:

• For many people who are only semi-motivated, the most difficult part about getting new clothes is getting themselves out the door and to the store. After they've picked up some nice new outfits they're usually happy about it, but it seemed like such a hassle beforehand to take a few hours to go shopping.
• We may think we don't know much about fashion, but likely have an idea deep down about what looks good. A rigid self-image can make it a chore to admit to ourselves we can wear these attractive clothes ourselves.
• Go to a store which sells good clothes and start trying items on. We can use the staff's knowledge and style to our advantage by asking them to help pick out some good outfits (of course, we should trust our gut and not allow them to push or falsely flatter us into buying something we are not keen about).
• Don't judge anything until we've tried it on to see if it looks good on us. Many clothes look much better than we think from just seeing them hanging on the rack or sitting folded up on a table.
• Our self-image or a sense of discomfort with change may pop up here and make us think things like, "That's not me, I'm not the type of person who wears this stuff" in response to styles which truly would look good. We must try to ignore these thoughts and push out of our comfort zone. We may be surprised at how within a few days we are totally comfortable in outfits we initially dismissed as "not me".
• We may have some emotional baggage around certain styles, even though we think deep down they look good. If we don't like the people who wear certain styles (e.g., jocks, preps, hipsters) the idea of dressing like one of 'them' may seem traitorous.

There are two broad paths we can take when it comes to getting better clothes. One is to just dress like our peers (the ones who look good anyway). This is cheaper and easier. Clearly we are not being a one-of-a-kind trailblazer, but we will still come out looking better than before. The problem is, our clothes will go out of style sooner rather than later and we will have to get new ones.

The second option is to go to hip, higher-end stores and buy some slightly more unique items. This is more expensive and there is a higher risk we will accidentally buy something which isn't a good fit for our personality. On the upside, these clothes tend to just look better and attract more positive attention. They also exist outside of the short-lived trends more mainstream styles are subjected to, so it takes much longer before they're blatantly out of fashion.

• Like anything there's a learning curve involved in picking out our own clothes. We get better at it with practice. As such, I'd recommend not blowing too much money on the first few times out.
• Some people don't have a problem with paying more for what they feel are good clothes. However, it's totally understandable to be cautious. It's totally possible to look good and not kill our bank accounts. Some well-dressed guys take pride in the fact all their shirts cost less than $15.
• If in doubt lean, towards (relatively) plain and conservative clothes over flashier ones. Flashy clothes can backfire and make us look gaudy and like we're trying too much if we don't pull them off properly.
• Don't forget about accessories like a fun pair of sunglasses, a stylish watch, or a necklace. None of them have to be disgustingly expensive. As a general rule though, we want to lean towards wearing fewer accessories rather than overdoing it.
• Get some nice shoes. The standard advice for dressier shoes is to have a good pair each of black and brown ones.

Your external looks are influenced by your internal state

If we took two outwardly identical guys, but one was insecure and had quite a few other issues, and the other was self-assured, happy and confident, they would come across as quite different from each other. They would carry themselves differently and wear different expressions on their faces. One would literally be better looking than the other. As we invest in the inner "us", our outer appearance will benefit.

Care about your appearance on your road to personal success.  And again, keep looking up.  : )   AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

August 25th, from The Journey: A Calendar Book reads,

"Remember, our actions determine our destiny" (James, 2012).

How many times have we heard, "Actions speak louder than words"?  Too numerous to count I'd guess.  Yet we are all cognizant the phrase is a fact. We often forget the great power we posses within ourselves to shape our lives by the choices we make. We are the one who choose how to live our lives or create our lives' paths. To be certain, our future will not be determined by chance, but rather by the choices we make today. 

Life is a series of choices. The choices we make now affect the options available for the next round of choices. Learning what to choose, and how to choose, may be the most important education we will ever receive. There is no such thing as the perfect human. All of us are imperfect whether we like it or not; we surely need not add additional stress to our lives because of it. It is our imperfections which make us, human. 

These imperfections teach us about ourselves and the mistakes we make in life will teach us how to be a more better human being. And those who let their mistakes teach them and not rule them are one step closer to becoming the perfect. There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroads. The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days. And, of course when faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back.  This would not be a trait toward personal success.

There may be times we make choices which cause our path to become tough, confusing and uncertain. Our path seems like a series of hills and valleys, there is never any balance.When this happens, we should stop and examine the choices which have taken us down this path. We should evaluate those choices and identify alternatives or new choices which will bring us back to our true path-the one we originally created.

Remember, our choices determine our destiny.  Keep looking up.  : )   AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

Our August 22nd reading from The Journey: A Calendar Book,

"Be honest with yourself" (James, 2012).

Today's thought is key to personal success.  How often we deceive ourselves about who we are and what we are capable of accomplishing, and it goes both ways;  we may keep telling ourselves we are/can be/do individual/things which are far beyond our abilities or we may keep telling ourselves we aren't/can't be/do individuals/things which we are possess the propensity to become/accomplish.

Being honest with our dreams, hopes, aspirations assists personal success comes our way easier and much sooner than if we are not honest with ourselves about these things.

However; being honest with ourselves can be like getting teeth pulled; it can be painful, but wow, how the end results leave us in much better condition. And regular checkups are essential for long-lasting health. The dentist in this case is us, and our job is to bust through the buildup of stories, illusions, lies, fears, misperceptions, attachments, and judgments we’ve been collecting.
We don’t let just anyone put his or her fingers into our mouths, so we want to be just as cautious about allowing someone into our hearts. This means it’s essential we also promise to act as a best friend would in this situation — no judging the buildup, berating ourselves for the state of our lifes, or making ourselves feel guilty or ashamed. Yes, what we may uncover during our honesty hearing could sting, but we don’t have to scrape the sensitive areas harshly. Apply unconditional love instead.
The following five steps can lead us through our honesty hearing. All we have to do is grab a piece of paper and a mirror and go for it. We must keep our commitments: point out the buildup and remove it with love!

Step 1: State the obvious

On a piece of paper, draw two lines which divide the paper in four quadrants. At the intersection of these two lines, in the middle of the paper, draw a heart. At the top of each quadrant, write one of the following phrases representing a key area of your life (and a potential place where self-honesty can fall by the wayside).

• My Career
• My Relationships with Others
• My Health
• My Money

And in the heart, write:

• My Relationship with Myself

Go through each area, one by one, while looking in a mirror for added impact, and tell yourself all the ways you think you haven’t been honest with yourself. Share your thoughts openly with yourself, seeing your reflection as a best friend who is listening to — not judging — what you have to say. After you finish speaking about each of the four areas, write down on your paper what you said about each.

Step 2: Go deeper

Go back to the mirror, look into your eyes, and get really intimate with yourself, as if you can see directly into your heart and soul. No mask, just you and you. Now ask this reflection looking back at you — the part of you who loves you unconditionally and has no fear of being honest — to dig deeper to answer the question “How am I really not being honest with myself?” Then, either by speaking the answer out loud or by closing your eyes and listening to that wise voice inside you, reveal the truth. No shame, no self-judgment, just honesty in service of love.
Remember, you are on your side. After you have finished speaking, write down what you heard. Use the other side of the paper you used in step 1, beginning with the sentence starter “I have not been honest about...”

Step 3: Be grateful, not defensive

Look into your eyes again and say, “Thank you. Thank you for loving me enough to help me see the truth.”

Step 4: Soak the truth in

Look back at everything you wrote. Challenge yourself to try on the truth. If you find yourself resisting the truth, ask yourself these questions: “What consequence am I afraid of? If I accept this as the truth, what reality will I have to face that I might not want to?” Usually it’s not the truth that makes you afraid; it’s dealing with the consequences of admitting the truth that freaks you out. When you can face the consequence, you gain the power to move from fear into love, which is exactly the result you are after.

Step 5: Make a new choice

Using your power of self-awareness, address each of the areas you’ve tended not to be honest in. Ask yourself the following questions:

• What has been the result — the cost — of this lack of self-honesty and self-awareness?
• What reality would I like to create instead?
• What is one action I can take to create the reality I want this week?

Then commit to taking this action by actually writing down, on each of the four sections of your paper, what you will do and by when.
Note: Just like regular checkups at the dentist, this self-love practice can be scheduled with yourself twice a year. Or do it whenever you feel something in your heart and soul aching or irritating you.

Be honest with yourself.....as always...keep looking up.  : )  AJ

(www.lifeatgaiam.com)

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

                                  
                            Hardback or Paperback Version                                               e-book Version         


The Journey: A Calendar Book is available in either hardback or paperback form as well as available to be downloaded in e-book form by going to either of the links below:

www.jamesharryman2002.wix.com/allenjamesbooks or www.lulu.com/spotlight/allenjames1961

Today's reading, August 21st, from The Journey: A Calendar Book reads,

"Embrace success" (James, 2012).

To embrace something means to hold on to tightly/closely or to wrap ourselves around it.  Despite what we may have been conditioned to believe, it is NOT self-serving or conceited to be proud of our successes.  Successes should be celebrated and touted, not necessarily outwardly, but certainly within; giving ourselves a good pat on the back when personal success comes our way.

For some people, success is illustrated by the monetary accumulation. For others it is about accomplishments, awards and recognitions. At the same time there are many people who define success based on their relationships, family, friends and status in the community. Like everything in life, we are the one who ultimately decides exactly what success means to us.

There was a time in my life when something “good” happened for someone else, I would automatically begin to think, “why not me?” I would then continue to come up with all kinds of reasons why perhaps it was (in my opinion) said person receiving the good fortune, was not deserving of it. I would go on and on about how it was not fair; with what I often now refer to as the “poor me” syndrome. The more I focused on what I perceived as the sad state of affairs of my life, emotions such as jealousy, envy, and even resentment began to surface. My attitude towards others, and these emotions combined with the energy that I had created for myself in this vibrational state, took me farther and farther away from the measurements of success  I held; thus creating “No Success”, I was literally saying “No, to success!”

One of the things we may never have considered (and I say this because it was something I never considered) is when we celebrate another person’s successes, we are actually creating success for ourselves. Isn’t this an interesting concept!

When we get excited, rejoice, celebrate and feel genuinely happy for someone else’s success and good fortune, we are moving this energy and information forward into the Universe “as if” it is our own. Our reactive attitude towards others in these moments is powerful. When we acknowledge another person’s success from a place of love, harmony and joy, we create success and good fortune for ourselves with effortless ease. The universe responds to our attitude, our thoughts and our feelings. Through our own conscious intent for good and blessings for others, we are literally commanding our world to fulfill our dreams and desires and bring about our own success. Our attention and focus to the present successes of others creates success for ourselves. We are energetically saying “Yes!” to success!

Keeping this in mind, we must pay attention to our attitude by:

o responding in thought toward our neighbors when we see a new vehicle in their driveway;
o rethink our thoughts when we hear our best friend is going on a holiday;
o watch our feelings and attitude when our colleague is promoted;
o watch our responses to those who always win raffles, lotteries, or door prize;
o adjust our attitude when someone around us accomplishes a goal have also set for ourselves.

We are creating in every one of these moments; what contribution are we making to our life? Are we adding expansiveness to the energy of our success aligned with universal flow, or are we placing energy in resistance?

I have come to realize in order to start creating success, I first need to find acceptance with where I am in my life and part of doing this, is taking a look back at all the times I have already been successful. This process has had me take a good look at how I was defining and measuring my own success and in turn, it has become increasingly easy to recognize and celebrate the success of another.

“In pursuit of your goals and the summit of your success, it is important to pause; take a look at how far you have climbed. Stop for this moment. Acknowledge where you have been, the steps you have taken and place into this brief intermission, gratitude for it all! As you travel forward to your dreams, rejoice in the accomplishments and successes of others who walk beside you. For their feat combines and magnifies with your own, thus creating a beautiful energetic marriage and a Divinely inspired recipe for success of the all!” ~ Creator

My life is filled with amazing experiences which contributes to my measurement and definition of success. I have accomplished, overcome and risen above, and with welcomed surprise, succeeded in one form or another, every single time in all I set out to do. Chances are, those reading this blog probably have too!

So today and in every day to come, let’s celebrate success… together!  Keep looking up.  : ) AJ

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Allen James thought for August 20th from The Journey: A Calendar Book reads,

"Accept defeat" (James, 2012). (I realize this was posted yesterday...but it warrants re-posted)

What a difficult task it is to accept defeat, especially for the individual who has been reared to believe defeat is not an option.  We all fail.  Failure is part of the ingredients which make up personal success.  Defeat is inevitable. Accepting defeat means acknowledging we aren't perfect and acknowledging growth is always transpiring in our lives.

Failure is definitely a difficult pill to swallow. Yet it can be less difficult when we approach it with the appropriate attitude, knowing defeat's impact is only momentarily experienced, then we move forward with action. It has been stated one’s character can be ascertained by the way they accept defeat. Therefore, today's blog suggests 5 ways to confront defeat with grace.  As each is over-viewed, think about how they can be applied personally.

Accept it: It happened. Big deal! We possess the power to let it impact us for days or for a few hours or not at all. It happens to everyone hundreds of times throughout our lives.

Learn from it: We must learn to look at losing as a failure, or we can accept it as a challenge to better our lives. Competition should not be about others but us. We can opt to use the defeat to better or lose ourselves. It’s our individual choice.

 Move forward: When we set our sights on a new goal we progress at a more rapid pace. When we create new challenges for ourselves we quickly learn to realize defeat equals growth. Experiencing a big defeat, or setting our sights on smaller goals until completion of the bigger picture assists us in being more realistic about what we want and how to get there...about attaining personal success. Just remember, any accomplished journey comes from small steps, so keep moving.

Emulate: Think about how role models/idols have dealt with defeat? There are many successful ways to cope with it. Discover the ways those individuals have chosen to handle their defeat. It’s likely their solution can work for others as well.

Avoid Distraction: Instead of letting self-doubt and negativity occupy our minds, directing attention somewhere else is always profitable in cases of defeat. Volunteer or spend time helping someone else get over their problems. These activities can additionally do wonders for self-esteem.

Accept defeat, and continue growth; personal success is not far ahead.  Keep looking up.  : )   AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

Learn more about the Allen James mission of personal success through a positive lifestyle, browse/preview/purchase the Allen James Calendar Book which best fits your needs or as a gift by clicking on either of the following links (books are offered at 25% off at these two locations only.  They are not discounted on amazon.com or barnesandnoble.com):

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www.lulu.com/spotlight/allenjames1961


Allen James thought for August 20th from The Journey: A Calendar Book reads,

"Accept defeat" (James, 2012).

What a difficult task it is to accept defeat, especially for the individual who has been reared to believe defeat is not an option.  We all fail.  Failure is part of the ingredients which make up personal success.  Defeat is inevitable. Accepting defeat means acknowledging we aren't perfect and acknowledging growth is always transpiring in our lives. 

Failure is definitely a difficult pill to swallow. Yet it can be less difficult when we approach it with the appropriate attitude, knowing defeat's impact is only momentarily experienced, then we move forward with action. It has been stated one’s character can be ascertained by the way they accept defeat. Therefore, today's blog suggests 5 ways to confront defeat with grace.  As each is over-viewed, think about how they can be applied personally.

Accept it: It happened. Big deal! We possess the power to let it impact us for days or for a few hours or not at all. It happens to everyone hundreds of times throughout our lives.

Learn from it: We must learn to look at losing as a failure, or we can accept it as a challenge to better our lives. Competition should not be about others but us. We can opt to use the defeat to better or lose ourselves. It’s our individual choice.

 Move forward: When we set our sights on a new goal we progress at a more rapid pace. When we create new challenges for ourselves we quickly learn to realize defeat equals growth. Experiencing a big defeat, or setting our sights on smaller goals until completion of the bigger picture assists us in being more realistic about what we want and how to get there...about attaining personal success. Just remember, any accomplished journey comes from small steps, so keep moving.

Emulate: Think about how role models/idols have dealt with defeat? There are many successful ways to cope with it. Discover the ways those individuals have chosen to handle their defeat. It’s likely their solution can work for others as well.

Avoid Distraction: Instead of letting self-doubt and negativity occupy our minds, directing attention somewhere else is always profitable in cases of defeat. Volunteer or spend time helping someone else get over their problems. These activities can additionally do wonders for self-esteem.

Accept defeat, and continue growth; personal success is not far ahead.  Keep looking up.  : )   AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

Learn more about the Allen James mission for personal success through a positive lifestyle, browse/preview/purchase the calendar books which best fits you.  Calendar Books by Allen James are 25% off only at:

www.jamesharryman2002.wix.com/allenjamesbooks and lulu.com/spotlight/allenjames1961


Allen James' Daily Guide to Success Calendar Books reading for August 18th from The Journey: A Calendar Books..."Use your talents" (James, 2012).

The word talent is defined specifically as: "the natural endowments of a person" (merriam/webster.com). Talent, simply defined, is intelligence.

Considering the diversity of talents, this list will only cover a few:

Showing kindness to all people
Bestowing compassion on weak or mean people
Giving unconditional love to those who don't love you
Always being friendly, especially to those who are shy or closed off
Demonstrating leadership by example
Having awareness of those who are sick, sad, or downtrodden
An ability to verbalize feelings to other people
Creativity in bringing people together to share meaningful experiences
Speaking publicly and inspiring large groups of people
Courage in facing adversity

Of course there are many other talents, maybe even thousands or millions of them, and the aforementioned examples are some of the more meaningful talents which often get overlooked by the world and the individuals who possess them, overshadowed by the more obvious talents such as: singing, dancing, drawing, and the like.

Regardless, as the familiar idiom goes; "Use it or lose it" is applicable to our use of our talents as well. Failing to display our talents can result is an inability to recognize them, thus resulting in our inability to demonstrate them if and when we decide we want to.

Talents such as the ones listed above bring about positivity in our lives which leads to success on a very, very personal level. Not making application of them in our lives does a great disservice to not only others who might benefit from them, but also to ourselves who would find many positive outcomes from our talents.

Find your talents.....then, "Use your talents". It won't take long to reap the harvest.

Keep looking up. : ) AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

Learn more about the Allen James mission, browse/preview/purchase the calendar book which best suits you at:

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Our reading for August 16th from The Journey: A Calendar Book is,

"Wear your seat belt" (James, 2012).

Beside the fact it is a law in most states anyone sitting in the front seat of a vehicle must be wearing their seat belt and we either follow the law of the land or face the personal consequences of having not followed the law, there are also the natural consequences of not doing so;  personal being bring physical harm to yourself or others, natural being facing the reality of being ticketed or spending time incarcerated.  Seat belt laws are established to protect us and others, period;  they're not established to take our rights away.

However; I am a strong advocate of adherence to the wearing of seat belts due to my personal experience regarding the topic.  Sadly in most instances in life we have to "learn through the school of hard knocks" before we "get it".  This was my case in reference to wearing of seat belts.

Prior to 2002 I rarely wore my seat belt, whether I was the driver or the passenger in a vehicle. It was just too uncomfortable, took too much effort to reach over my shoulder and grab the belt, pull it over my chest, and fasten it in the lock.  How ridiculous this sounds, right?

I remember the first car my wife and I had after getting married was a 1986 Ford Escort which she had been given by her parents as a graduation gift from college.  It was the first car as well where I encountered the automatic upper body seat belt which mechanically fastened over the driver and passenger's check upon closing of the door (it was the responsibility of those individuals to fasten the waist belt, which would be realized later was just as vital to safety as only fastening the upper belt could cause decapitation in major accidents). 

But it would happen that on a sunny spring afternoon around 4:30 I would complete my lesson from the "hard knock" of reality I received.  I had just purchased a new vehicle, a 2002 Ford Sport SUV.  Having never wore my seat belt before this vehicle, it would be the case on this day after picking it up at the dealership I would put on my seat belt due to the "dinging" of the tone to remind to to fasten it.  Driving the hour and a half home during rush hour from St. Louis in 65 mph traffic another vehicle turned from a side street directly in front of me.  My vehicle flipped 6 times and landed on its roof, every window left glassless, and sitting headed in the opposite direction I was driving, while I was left hanging upside down, tightly held by my seat belt; not a scratch on me (I'll refrain from imposing the horrid details in reference to the other vehicle and its driver).

The seat belt saved my life most possibly.  Since that date I never fail to take the time to reach over my shoulder, pull the belt across my chest, and fasten it at my waist, not only because it's the law, but because it keeps my safe and secures the opportunity to pursue personal success.

Wear your seat belt.  It's the right thing to do.  Keep looking up.  : ) AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

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Allen James writes for August 15th, from The Journey: A Calendar Book,

"Put mint in your tea" (James, 2012).

Throughout my teen years I recall my mother had planted along the front porch of my childhood home (the porch had been a wrap around wooden plank, white column porch which many of the homes in Dawson Springs, Kentucky possessed which were built in the 1920s but my father had "updated" and turned the curved "wrap around" into a carport and concreted the main porch with black wrought-iron "posts" when I was 9 or 10 - I recall his doing so and my older brothers assisting) planting mint along the entire front.  During the summer months the scent of mint permeated the front "yard".  I emphasize "yard" because all throughout my childhood there was not "yard", just a front area from the porch to the sidewalk some 30 feet away, a dirt playground for my friends and I to play with our Tonka dump trucks and bulldozers and Matchbox cars.  There were two large maples on each side of the walk leading from the porch to the pedestrian walk, which he redid at the same time.  The trees kept grass from growing no matter how many times Daddy-O attempted to grow grass.  Thus he cut down one of the maples and finally succeeded in making our Sahara into a plush oasis.  We would now have roads for our little Matchbox cars and trucks to travel.

I was usually oblivious to Mom coming out from time to time while we little ones were lost in our world of "grown-up" mimicking imaginary world, and snipped of bits of the fresh mint to put in the sun-tea she would brew during those sultry Kentucky summers.  Looking back,  there were many like amenities of which I was not aware my mother would draw from to give her large family's very far from middle class life a bit of variety.

How nice it was when we'd played so long we'd forget how thirsty we were Momma would have waiting for us, her own children and those of the neighborhood who congregated at the Harryman House, those tall Tupperware multicolored plastic "glasses" full of mint and lemon spiked southern iced tea to quell our thirst and cool our panting bodies as we took a break but quickly returned to the construction site or rain-forest to which our childish whims beckoned.

Little did I realize then this small town, untraveled, mother of seven who worked diligently day and night to provide for her family a home which they would recall long after she would be deceased, was exposing us to the reality of the idiom, "Variety is the spice of life". 

We all have heard the phrase, however as we mature into adulthood from those wonder years of childhood, we soon realize we are actually creatures of habit.  Researchers who are experts in human behavior report while we believe we have diverse tastes, we actually prefer the things we know.
The phenomenon explains why our kitchen cupboards are full of tins and packets of food which will never be eaten and why many a bookshelf contains novels which have never been opened, more more than likely, never will.

When we are actually consuming things, we tend to like less variety than we think or imagine we will like. Daniel Read, of Warwick Business School, said: "People tend to choose more variety than they actually want to consume. ‘We believe that variety is a pretty good things. But the variety is that when we are actually consuming things, we tend to like less variety than we think or imagine we will like."

Professor Read has shown we exhibit this diversification bias, or mistaken appetite for variety, in an experiment in which volunteers given the choice of chocolate, fruit and crisps to eat as snacks.

They either stocked up on treats for the coming weeks at the start of the experiment, or chose a snack each week. When choosing all their snacks at once, they opted for more variety. For instance, they might pick two bars of chocolate, two pieces of fruit and a bag of crisps. But, if choosing the snacks one by one, just ahead of eating, they’d go for crisps each time. And given the chance of changing their mind, those who had stocked up on a variety of treats tended to revert to playing it safe.

In other words, we are actually creatures of habit at heart.  As a result, a weekly or fortnightly trip to the supermarket is likely to lead to us making choices we’ll later regret. Professor Read said: "Let’s say you buy half a kilo of cheddar, 100g of brie and another cheese that takes your fancy. Then you put them in the fridge; have a cheddar cheese sandwich and another and another until suddenly there is no cheddar left. There are all these other cheeses in the fridge, but you go back to the supermarket and buy more cheddar cheese and then you will buy some other cheeses which will probably end up in the bin in the future" (dailymail.com).

We may think we are someone who likes reading mystery novels, but also the occasional literary novel - but the high-brow option tends to stay on the shelf.  In another experiment, Professor Read, who features in the latest edition of BBC Radio Four’s Human Zoo series, asked volunteers to rent two DVDs which were to be watched several days apart. Those who choose both films at the same time were more likely to choose two different genres. They also tended to choose an easy-viewing film to watch on the day and more high-brow one for later in the week, suggesting they liked to pretend to themselves they were more intellectual than they really were. The professor added: "We have an image of ourselves which is different from reality we are consuming, for all types of things.

It’s the same with books. We may think we are someone who likes reading mystery novels but also the occasional literary novel. In a three for two offer, we buy two mysteries and one literary novel, read the mysteries and the literary novel sits on the shelf" (dailymail.com).

Professor Read has put his findings into practice. He said: "I am more willing to buy ten of the same thing. That is not a bad lesson to learn - if you like something, choose a little bit more of it than you are tempted to (dailymail.com).

Personal success comes from adding variety to our lives.  Our lives become more dynamic and less static when we learn, experience, attempt, embrace, and infuse variety into them, I believe.  It's very much an application of the fact introducing new and different concepts, ideas, and activities to our brains assists in curbing the effects of early on-set Alzheimer Disease.  As Dave Sheppard, a self proclaimed expert in the field of educational consulting states, "If it doesn't hurt you, if it can help you, why not do it" (Sheppard, 2014).

Put mint in your tea, enjoy not only a great flavor which it provides our taste buds, but the great analogy of adding diversity to our lives, and in essence, pushing us along to....personal success.

Keep looking up.  : ) AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

From The Journey: A Calendar Book we read for August 13th,

"Maintain your composure when necessary" (James, 2012).

Certainly we are each unique.  No two of us are exactly alike; even identical twins have their differences.  Some of us are big, some small.  Some of us are soft spoken, others boisterous, light skinned or darker.  However; we all do share commonalities; one distinct commonality is our emotions.  Knowing how and when to control these emotions is yet another aspect of "self" which is trait required for personal success.

Working with people in supportive therapy over the past 20 years, I've gained a bit of insight into how controlling our emotions can benefit us as we travel our life journey.  The following 5 attributes can assist in this task:

1) Don’t ever take anything personally: It’s tough. We all can relate to instances when someone says something so against our beliefs we want to tell them they’re so wrong. There are others who may be passive aggressive and say “Yes-but.” I've found the key to our accepting no needless stress in our lives is to not take anything personally — to realize everyone has a perspective, and most of the time it may not align with our own.

2) Become aware of our "triggers": What are triggers? The person who cuts us off on the road without using his or her blinker. The person who bumps into our shoulder without saying excuse me. The senseless opinion from the certain someone whom we chose to allow us to visualize ourselves punching their face in. We've all heard the voice in our heads telling us to scream, rant, complain, or whine. How many times have we acted out of burst emotions, and how many times has it proven unsuccessful? How many times have we responded to a someone we just can't seem to tolerate on Twitter, Facebook, or on a blog, nothing really gets accomplished with such responses.

3) Pause: Before doing anything, just breathe and pause for a few seconds. Think it over. Relax. We must learn to let our emotions simmer so we can recollect ourselves. Think about what we want to accomplish at any given moment. Do we want to blow this situation out of proportion, or do we want to diffuse it? Then make our choice and live with it.
 
4) Find the purpose: Ever since I started practicing "living consciously", the one question I always ask myself in every situation is, “What is the purpose?” Or sometimes, “What is the goal?” With this in mind, I have complained, argued, and fought less with strangers, friends, family, whomever. The simple reason; if it has nothing to do with helping me achieve my goals, better my life, or remove needless stress, then what is the point? If it adds needless stress, causes problems, or influences me to lose sight of what’s most important, then what good is it doing?

5) Never assume: We all recall the teacher who once taught us if we assume, we make an ass out of u-and-me (ass-u-me) both. It’s one of the few principles which ever stuck with me, simply because the delivery was flawless. When something frightening happens, people have a tendency to immediately assume the worst case scenario. Or if we see something, we assume it associates with this and this. Most of the time, we’re dead-wrong. I find it best not to assume, take a breath, and unfold the situation ourselves.

Maintain your composure when necessary.  We all know when we need to do so.  Oh, yeah....and always, keep looking up.  : )   AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

What a beautiful August morning it is in Southeast Missouri....feels like fall....which is my favorite season of the year.

Our August 12th reading from The Journey: A Calendar Books, which can be previewed and purchased for 25% off for blog readers at www.jamesharryman2002.wix.com/allenjamesbooks, is;

"Bridle your tongue" (James, 2012).

Today's reading hits each of us where it hurts, to be sure.  What is it about humans to cause us to be so intent upon getting our word in, instead of keeping our mouths shut and learning from or processing what someone else says or something we hear, before speaking?

It has been said that the “tongue” is one of the most exercised muscles of our body. It has been estimated in a typical week, the average person will speak enough words to fill a 500 page book! The use of the tongue must be a matter of careful forethought for personal success to be achieved. The Holy Bible warns believers who do not bring restraint to their tongue and speech have been deceived — and without such control over their words, all attempts at personal success are worthless. “anyone among you...who does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, is useless” (James 1:26). It is a deception for any of us to think we can achieve personal success without also maintaining control over our tongue.


The reference to a “bridle” in the previous is of the leather harness and bit placed in a horse’s mouth to control it. In the same manner, we must allow ourselves to bridle our tongue, and bring restraint to their words. 

In today's world of Facebook, Twitter, and other social media, we witness others' expressing their STRONG opinions about every subject under the sun.  I can not count the times I've seen postings as well which others state how much they wish they could "UNLIKE" some postings where the "tongue should have been bridled.  And how much more difficult it is to do so when ones words are being typed into a posting rather than spoken aloud;  our words seem less offensive when we don't HEAR them vocalized audibly; however others HEAR them just as loud when reading them.

Personal success is achieved through constraint and discipline.  

Bridle your tongue.  It'll be a blessing to not only others, but to us as well.  Keep looking up.  : ) AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Book"

 
Personal success is a result of personal actions. Personal success is a result of personal thoughts. Personal success is a result of personal motivation. The daily readings from Allen James' Calendar Books are such thoughts, actions and motivation which the author has directly attributed to his personal success. They are intended to be understood from this perspective. If not, they are nothing but, as Hamlet retorted in Shakespeare's "Hamlet", "Words, words, words" (Act 2:2).

Today's reading, August 11th; "Remember special dates of the year" (A Man's Daily Guide to Success).

Major holidays and special events which are recognized nationally are significant to be sure, and easy to remember due to the overwhelming marketing which surround them; however, special dates throughout the year which are unique to you and your family, significant others, close friends; are important in cultivating your relationships and maintaining strong bonds.

My grandmother Williams kept one of those large "Drug Store" calendars, such as the one in the picture, hanging on the wall in her living room with birthdays of grandchildren, anniversaries, etc. posted. I could always count on Mamaw sneaking a small gift to me when picking her up for church or to take to the grocery. I still have several of the silver Kennedy dollars and half dollars she gave me growing up.

After her death my mother continued the tradition and following her death my oldest brother decided to attempt to do the same.

Having a link to special dates in like the links in a chain; each seemingly small action is just another which binds to another to create a strong lasting connection to those we love.

Remember special dates of the year. It strengthens personal success.

Keep looking up. : ) AJ

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Our reading for August 8th from Allen James' The Journey: A Calendar Book is the key to the past two day's reading; August 6th, "Don't ignore yourself", and August 7th, "Don't ignore others".  The very foundation of following both those actions, thus catapulting yourself into personal success is today's reading:

"Don't ignore God" (James, 2012).

There is one God.  He is called by many names, yet He encompasses who He is within each of these names. The Holy Bible tells us His name is Jesus.  Christians believe God the creator, represented Himself on earth in human form in the person of Jesus, and when Jesus was crucified, died, arose from the tomb, and was transfigured to connect back to Himself, the creator, He left his spirit on earth to comfort and guide us in the form of the Holy Spirit.  We believe he exists within us by way of inviting Him to become a part of us by accepting His Holy Spirit.  Thus, when we ignore Him within us, chaos ensues in our lives.

Others have differing beliefs, yet throughout history these beliefs closely mimic Christians' beliefs.  Certainly I am not here to make judgements, however; my beliefs as a Christian urge us all to keep in tune and to not ignore the Spirit within, for personal success is only an empty shell without a close communion with this Spirit within.

Christians believe listening to the Holy Spirit and following His leading and guidance is so important in the life of every child of God. Many today have gotten into the wrong jobs, wrong relationships and made terrible decisions because they ignored the counsel of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is here with us, as the administrator of the grace of Jesus Christ and the love of God in our lives today. He’s the one who makes the presence of the Lord Jesus real to us. He communicates the mind of the Father to everyone who has received Him. No wonder Jesus, before His ascension said, “And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abode with you for ever” (John 14:16). Those who ignore the Holy Spirit can’t experience God’s love in reality. Life, without the Holy Spirit, is unexciting, hard, rough and tough. Someone once said, “The Christian life is very challenging; it’s fraught with too many problems.” For the one who ignores the Spirit within, this is fact! My experience of life has been one of consistent progress, unending success and recurrent victory, of course with bumps in the road, but a good life. It’s an awesome, wonderful and glorious experience, learning to walk with the Holy Spirit.   Keeping acquainted with the Holy Spirit allows us to consider any challenge viewed as obstacles to faith as opportunities. James 1:2 says count it all joy when you fall into divers tests. Why? There’s one living in you that helps you win and puts you over all of life’s challenges: “Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world” (1 John 4:4). The Holy Spirit was sent to help you live the overcoming life, and bear you up in times of weaknesses and limitations (Romans 8:26); never ignore him. Recognize the personal ministry of the Holy Spirit and learn to walk with Him. He’s more concerned and passionate about our personal success than we could ever be. Yielding to Him, He’ll perfect all our concerns and lead us from one success to another..   Don't ignore God.....thus...keeping looking up.  : ) AJ

Calendar Books by Allen James - Daily Reading - "The Journey: A Calendar Books"

Learn more about Allen James' mission of striving more personal success through living a positive mindset, and browse/preview/purchase Allen James publications at:

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Our reading for August 7th directly coincides with yesterday's reading;

"Don't ignore others" (James, 2012).

I recall early in my higher education (I was a communication major, thus it was imminent I would learn about this author) hearing about Dale Carnegie and his book, which was published in 1936, How to Win Friends and Influence People.  It was everywhere during the 1970s and 1980s.  The book demystified the process of making friends out of strangers and provided rules for meeting new people by using the ATTENTION tools.
 
Not surprising, giving others attention, not ignoring them and their needs, was the keystone to his thesis.  Carnegie presented five simple attention giving attributes which we can use to be sincere in our giving others the attention they deserve, thus communicating better and having a better influence on others in our lives:

Smile:
A smile is a ticket for people’s heart. Smile – is a simple attention-giving tool to others. It is a simple, basic behavior, yet people just don’t think about it. People are more likely to warm up to someone with a broad smile on his face than they are to someone with an unhappy face or dour countenance.
Smiles can go a long way. Ron Gutman reviewed studies about smiling and found a smile can predict how long we will live. British researchers have found one smile can provide the same level of brain stimulation as up to 2,000 chocolate bars. Smiling is also contagious, especially when combinedt with sincere attention.  Did you ever see these people at a conference or networking event walking around with an expression of anger/ scowl on their face? They are so busy with trying to network the room,  actually forgetting the basic rule of attentional networking – Smile.
 
Listen:
One of the most unappreciated attentional networking skills we can easily master is the ability to listen. For others to be serious about us, we must to do more listening and less talking. Good listening is active not passive. How many times do we walk away from a conversation with someone and can’t remember a word they’ve said? We're there in body but little more. It is easy to ‘zone out’ and drift into our own thoughts, particularly if we are busy, bored, can’t see the relevance or have made an assumption there is nothing to gain from the discussion.  In an interesting blog titled: “Key Networking Skills – Listening Skills” written by Opendoorz Professional Business Network the concept of “Engaged Attentional Listening” is discussed. Engaged Attentional listening is when we understand a conversation and could answer someone else’s questions about what they said, whether the person was there or not.  Fully engaged listening takes this to the highest level.  We not only hear and understand what has been said, but we have a sense of who the person is, their passions and experiences and what really makes them tick.  One of the most profound points Carnegie made in How to Win Friends and Influence People was people love to talk about themselves. If we can get people to discuss their experiences and opinions—and listen with sincere interest and give real attention—we can have a great conversation with someone without having to say much at all.

Ask a question:
Asking questions which give attention to the other person is an art. Ask the wrong questions and we can easily offend someone. But the reverse is also true; asking the correct questions can build trust by opening lines of safe communications. Keep questions positive and focused. Correct questions, those which give attention, can build credibility, and for the shy person, it's a much smarter and easier way to engage.

Mention People first name:
One of Carnegie’s basic principles which has the largest impact on others is to mention their name—a person’s name is the sweetest sound to their ears. Remember, a person’s name is to them the sweetest and most important sound in any language. We make a lasting impression, and it displays to them they have been given sincere attention, when we can recall someone’s name we previously met. 
Simply put, making the efforts to learn how to remember names and recall them is an important skill and goes a long way towards making interactions more memorable. Put some effort into this skill and improve the lasting impression you make in the eyes of others.

Become genuinely interested in other people:
The only connections which work will be the ones you truly care about. If a genuine interest in and a sincere attention is not given to others when they are attempting to connect, they stop trying. It is nearly impossible to genuinely offer help if  we don’t pay authentic attention — real attention, not just to what business or what the weather is like! Invest genuine time in learning what really matters to them. Learn about their backgrounds and passions.  Be genuinely helpful. It is surprising how the simplest things actually never get completed. Being authentic and sincere in the attention given to others isn’t as difficult as some think!

Don't ignore others, and keep looking up.  : )   AJ